Bill Cosby plans to hold town halls about sexual assault… accusations

New from the “Fox to Hold Town Halls About Henhouse Security” Department: Bill Cosby, recent recipient of a mistrial in the sexual assault case against him (prosecutors intend to retry), plans to host a series of town halls about not committing sexual assault. Hahaha, no, the town halls will be about sexual assault and the legal system, or specifically not being the victim of lying bitches accusing you of sexual assault.

I saw Wonder Woman, and you should, too.

I saw Wonder Woman last night, and here’s the completely spoiler-free part of my review: You should go see it. We saw it in IMAX 3D, and I would pay IMAX 3D money to see it that way again. The Boy said he would just as happily have watched it at home after it hits Redbox, but he still liked it and thought it was cool.

The important thing is that the action was great, the story was believable and touching, the characters were three-dimensional, the character arcs were compelling, and there were some parts where I teared up. (I also teared up at the commercial where the parents put the lion’s mane on the dog, so take that as you will.) It’s really good. You should see it. I’m serious, you should.

Read on for spoilers.

Let’s talk about Confederate monuments.

They’re going down. Some of them are, anyway. But they’re not going down without a fight from the heritage-not-hate devotees of the tributes to the fight to preserve slavery and white supremacy. New Orleans has taken down statues honoring Confederate generals and leaders, and Charlottesville has voted to do the same. But just as quickly as the statues are falling, city and state governments are proposing protections for such monuments as a matter of “heritage.” Alabama passed theirs on Friday, and Louisiana’s is in the works.

So what’s really behind this desperate protectiveness of Civil War participation trophies, and why do they have no place on taxpayer-owned land? Let’s talk.

Sally Yates vs. Ted Cruz: FINISH HIM

On Monday, former acting attorney general Sally Yates testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Crime and Terrorism about connections to Russia throughout Trump’s campaign team and administration. Remember how she told the White House counsel about Michael Flynn being compromised, and got cool-story-bro’d? Well, Ted Cruz had some questions — but not about anything to do with that, because he just wanted to get in his smug digs about her refusal to enact Trump’s Muslim ban. This was a mistake.

(Also, Go Dawgs.)

Quick Hit: The White House ignored Sally Yates because… Clinton?

So Sally Yates testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Crime and Terrorism on Monday, talking about Russian interference in the election. Largely she talked about trying to tell the White House that National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was talking with the Russians and lying about it, and how they were, like, “NBD.” So in this morning’s press briefing, Sean Spicer was quick to discredit Yates, saying it was perfectly reasonable to disregard her evidence-backed warnings because she’s a Clinton supporter (apparently), and I guess those are prone to lying about matters of national security? Whatever. Here he is.

Jailing rape victims who refuse to testify v. protecting personal agency

It’s not uncommon for rape victims to suffer at the hands of the justice system for reporting the crime committed against them. They’re interrogated about their clothing and behavior when they were raped, they’re accused of lying, and frequently they have to watch as the authorities half-ass the investigation and then throw up their hands and dismiss it as he-said, she-said. The courts in New Orleans go even further, though, as rape victims, and other victims of violent crime, can be — and have been — jailed for refusing to testify against their rapist in court. And too many people are okay with that.

Let’s talk about inspiration pr0n.

Rebecca Schmitt, Rashema Mason, Griffin Furlong, and Crystal Tarbell are incredible young people — they endured homelessness and incredible emotional hardship to become valedictorian at their high school and earn college scholarships. Their stories make for inspirational, heartwarming reads — unless you pause long enough to ask, “In what world should a girl and her family end up homeless because they can’t afford her mother’s cancer treatment?”