How old is the youngest human to post or comment on Feministe? Jill was somewhere in her twenties when she started this blog. Some of our mates were teens when they began commenting here. But today’s post likely takes the cake – for involving a 12-year-old boy pontificating on gender in society. We’re not making this up…
IGNORANT KID EXPLAINS
“WHY GIRLS NEED MAKEUP”
A.K.A. TWO BROTHERS
CHATTING WHILST PLAYING VIDEOGAMES
SKiDROW: Greetings, this is SKiDROW.
TK-576: And I’m TK.
SKiDROW: Today I’m recording some of the baffling things my 12-year-old brother says when we’re together.
TK-576: Yeah, I’m playing MW2 Domination right now, trying to earn a Tactical Nuke.
SKiDROW: That’s how he normally talks, by the way.
TK-576: Well, what else can we talk about?
SKiDROW: Well, you do have interesting views on girls. Tell me, what do you think of girls’ makeup?
TK-576: You mean why do girls wear makeup?
SKiDROW: Sure, let’s talk about that.
TK-576: Well, I guess it’s a way to hide yeast infections and acne on their faces.
SKiDROW: Hold on, did you say yeast infections?
TK-576: Yeah, and acne.
SKiDROW: How would someone’s face get a yeast infection? Is that even possible?
TK-576: Yeah, I heard it in a commercial. It happens when you sweat a lot.
SKiDROW: I think you’re mixing it up with something else you saw on TV.
TK-576: Look, that’s just what I heard.
SKiDROW: Okay, back to reality. Why do you think girls wear makeup?
TK-576: Well, I guess to hide their acne, and because they don’t want their real faces to show.
SKiDROW: So girls wear makeup to hide their unattractiveness?
TK-576: I guess you can say that. I don’t think straight guys like ugly women.
SKiDROW: But if women wear makeup to please men, why do men think makeup is shallow?
TK-576: What do you mean?
SKiDROW: Meaning why do men find women shallow for wearing makeup, if women wear makeup to please men?
TK-576: Well, I guess if women wear makeup because men expect them to, you should blame society.
TK-576: But if girls wear makeup to make themselves feel better, that’s pretty shallow.
SKiDROW: Wait, so girls are shallow if they wear makeup for themselves?
TK-576: No, I’m saying they’re shallow if they think they look ugly without makeup.
SKiDROW: So if women wear makeup when men don’t force them to, they’re being shallow?
TK-576: I’m just saying women shouldn’t need makeup. They’re beautiful the way they are.
SKiDROW: I don’t know, mate. That sounds a bit simplistic.
SKiDROW: Well, a lot of girls wear makeup so they can keep their jobs.
TK-576: Wait, some jobs require makeup?
SKiDROW: Yeah, like waitressing. You need to wear makeup if you want to be tipped better by customers.
TK-576: I guess that makes sense.
SKiDROW: Okay, so to recap, what are the main reasons you think girls wear makeup?
TK-576: One, because society makes them wear makeup. Two, because it makes them feel better.
TK-576: And three, because it helps them to lose virginity.
SKiDROW: Did you say virginity?
SKiDROW: How does makeup affect one’s virginity?
TK-576: Well, if you want guys to sleep with you, makeup is one way to get their attention.
SKiDROW: Okay, so how do you know if a girl is wearing makeup to feel good, or if she’s trying to get some?
TK-576: I don’t know. I guess you can ask?
SKiDROW: You mean like getting consent?
TK-576: I don’t know what that means.
SKiDROW: Well, when we upload this video, we’ll see who agrees with you about makeup.
TK-576: I have a girlfriend, so I should be correct about this girl stuff.
SKiDROW: Hold on, a girlfriend?
TK-576: Yeah, she lives in Florida.
SKiDROW: Florida. You know how many scammers live out in Florida?
TK-576: Actually my girlfriend’s pretty nice.
SKiDROW: Did you meet her when you were playing MW2 online?
TK-576: We voice-chatted once and yeah, she’s a girl.
SKiDROW: Does this girl know she’s your girlfriend?
TK-576: Can we talk about this next time?
SKiDROW: Okay. Folks, if you disagree with my brother, leave scathing comments for him down below.
TK-576: Oh, and guys, don’t discriminate against girls who don’t wear makeup.
SKiDROW: By the way, your game is almost over.
TK-576: I know, let me end this video with a Tactical Nuke.
This weekend we plan to launch the first instalment of our winter series, the one involving feminist videogame reviews. Since our editor’s younger brother was instrumental in helping out, in return we agreed to help him with whatever project idea he came up with – the catch being that it needed to be gender-related. This is what he came up with (including the title, that self-deprecating bugger).
If you find the above exchange to be excruciating, don’t worry, we have only three episodes total to burn through, before the weekend arrives and we move onto better things. And if the above exchange causes you to fear for the future of our generation… well, we can’t dispute you on that point.
On the upside, he did agree to do an episode on… why women join ISIS? So stay tuned.