Don’t Send Me No Flowers, I Ain’t Dead Yet

When I picked Ethan up from his dad’s this weekend, he yelled, “Yes! It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow!”

Valentine’s Day, she ain’t what she used to be.

Ethan and his dad prepared a lovely set of valentines for E’s classmates and I taped peppermint patties to the envelopes. I couldn’t help but think of the Peppermint Patty of “Peanuts” fame, her unknowing lesbian icon status, and just how heteronormative this particular holiday is.

For the holiday I got Ethan a new book for his LeapPad and his own set of headphones since he loves mine so much. My valentine is getting a slew of vagina-shaped chocolates sold on campus for the Vagina Monologues charity and a set of coupons I modeled after the Onion’s suggestions. I got myself a quiet night at home with meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

V-day on twenty dollars or less. Cheapskate ahoy!

I’m not a big fan of these pedestrian holidays, or most holidays, and Valentine’s Day has always been shadowed by my nearby birthday. Luckily I have birthday plans this year, a night of bowling and dinner with E and E’s dad, another dinner out with my parents, and perhaps another dinner this upcoming weekend with friends and the pseudo-boyfriend. It’s about time. After my 21st birthday disappointment wherein I was living with and fighting with the parents badly enough that the two week long silence was only ended with a half-assed rendition of “Happy Birthday To You,” I figured the birthday excitement of my youth was over.

I’d rather think of Valentine’s Day itself as a massacre of another sort: hearts, relationships, and unrequited love slayed as easily as gangsters with guns hanging in a garage on February afternoon. Disappointment, really, and not because I feel left out of the holiday or anything, but that people so invest their relationships and self-worth into this holiday that most are disappointed. And thus, I am disappointed in them for being so ridiculous.

In the meantime, Amanda better illustrates my point and offers a bit of advice on how to avoid that V-Day malaise.

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4 comments for “Don’t Send Me No Flowers, I Ain’t Dead Yet

  1. February 14, 2005 at 9:30 am

    Valentine’s Day always made me feel so lonesome when I was single that it hurt. Now that I’m not single, I laugh at myself for feeling so bad.

  2. February 14, 2005 at 9:59 am

    You always find the best pictures. I love that one.

    Valentine’s Day was terrible for me when I was single and it seemed everyone around me was coupled. I feel the same way Roxanne does. I laugh about it now, because it was better being alone than with someone boring or bad for me.

  3. February 14, 2005 at 12:23 pm

    Actually,aren’t most valentine’s cards vagina-shaped? Isn’t the shape we usually consider a “heart” more reminiscent of that obscure object of (some) men’s desire? I suspect someone’s done a PhD thesis somewhere on ‘vaginal’ symbolism as the inverse of ‘phallic’ symbols. Any Edsel drivers in the house?

    Eve Ensler, you’re too late! (but it’s a good cause …)

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