Comments on: Abstinence Education: Risky Business

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Mon, 21 Mar 2005 03:41:49 +0000

I wouldn’t doubt it, Lauren. I should have said, this was about 15 years ago…so things haven’t changed much, even though it’s just now making the news. If they got any pleasure out of it, it was probably pure luck–the boys, also trying to skirt the rules, most likely didn’t have much concept of what to do for the girls in return, should they even be inclined to reciprocate.

But I think besides social capital, it was also a form of rebellion without getting in trouble. It was difficult to get up the nerve to buy condoms, much less get on birth control, in our Texas suburb, and pregnancy would be disaster. So using oral and anal sex was also a way to get around that and be bad without consequences (hopefully). Undoubtedly pleasing boyfriends was a high priority, but I think it was more complicated than that.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Mon, 21 Mar 2005 01:01:23 +0000

Emjaybee, I hate to quote Oprah here, but she recently had a show about young women who feel it necessary to participate in these kinds of sexual acts to maintain boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, even if they claimed they hadn’t technically had sex, i.e. vaginal intercourse. It appears to be a sort of social capital.

Most of them hadn’t even considered that they, too, have the capacity for that kind of pleasure, nor did they consider that in a healthy sexual relationship this kind of thing should be reciprocal.

I believe Feministing had something posted on this topic recently… here’s one though I think there was another this month. It doesn’t appear that they have a public monthly archive.

By: Heliologue

Heliologue — Mon, 21 Mar 2005 00:56:54 +0000

Christ, that sounds like something out of a frat comedy. “Sorry, I’m saving myself for marriage. I can still suck you off and then do the most taboo of mainstream sexual practices, though! No, don’t bother with a condom: if it’s not my vagina, there’s no risk!”

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Mon, 21 Mar 2005 00:32:42 +0000

Many “good Christian girls” used anal or oral sex as a way to get around abstinence in my school, which I call “getting off on a technicality.” hee.

Well, at least their boyfriends got off. I’m not sure they did.

By: Fred Vincy

Fred Vincy — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 17:42:13 +0000

And remember how much trouble Jocylyn Elders got into for recommending masturbation? These people have no realistic plan and just want to foster a culture of guilt and blame.

By: jeremy

jeremy — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 13:50:54 +0000

it seems to me that the bumper sticker is: “your hymen or your health, make smart choices”

By: Morgaine Swann

Morgaine Swann — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 06:50:43 +0000

Most women don’t even have a hymen. It’s a genetic anomalie that became more common through selective breeding. And those substitute activities are dangerous as well. No one ever tells a teenage girl she can get gonorrhea in her throat. It’s a gift, baby – wrap it up.

By: Just John

Just John — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 05:05:19 +0000

Can I make a pledge retroactive to the 1970s?

By: Pseudo-Adrienne

Pseudo-Adrienne — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 04:50:27 +0000

My hymen has already been broken through participating in sports and using tampons. I’ve never had sexual intercouse (nor anal sex). Oh, but I guess that makes me a whore anyway! I have sooooo ruined my marriage bed!……good. I have no interest in getting married.

Oh, and remember kids; if you’re going to have anal sex–lube up and double bag, if you know what I mean :-)

By: randomliberal

randomliberal — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 01:16:36 +0000

“Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse in Sioux Falls, S.D., called the study ‘bogus,’ and disputed that those involved had pledged true ‘abstinence.’

‘Kids who pledge abstinence are taught that any word that has “sex” in it is considered a sexual activity,’ Unruh said. ‘Therefore oral sex is sex, and they are staying away.’”

Umm…She’s fooling herself a bit if she actually thinks that.