A Brief Moment of Intellectual Superiority

I’m glad I opted for college:

Love is likely to thank for Paris’ newly angelic demeanor. She was joined at the W Hotel after-party by her new beau, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis.

“He’s definitely the one,” she said, explaining that Paris Un et Paris Deux met way back in 1997 in a Hilton-owned Monaco club called Jimmy’s.

“Paris and I met when he was 14 and I was 16,” she said. “I had this fake tattoo on my back, and he came up and was like, ‘Is that real?’ and I totally lied and said, ‘Yeah.’ He’s like, ‘That’s hot,’ and I’m like, ‘I know.’ Then he said, ‘My name’s Paris,’ and I said, ‘My name’s Paris.’ Then we danced all night.”

“He always gives me nice gifts,” she said.


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15 comments for “A Brief Moment of Intellectual Superiority

  1. April 29, 2005 at 4:17 am

    That is like, so sweet! Who cares about intellect when you can have an old flame rekindled, a fabulously successful career, worldwide fame and admiration. I am like, so jealous.

  2. April 29, 2005 at 8:36 am

    I dunno, seems to me like opting for high school would have been enough. to justify the title of your post.

    Gah.

  3. April 29, 2005 at 9:30 am

    My theory of de-evolution is validated!

  4. miss lori
    April 29, 2005 at 10:33 am

    wow. that’s really all i can say (or else a really bad rant on the state of our country will ensue) just wow.

  5. April 29, 2005 at 10:51 am

    From a marketing stanpoint, it’s a shame her name isn’t Spring. It would make the packaging of the inevitable release of their “private” videos a no-brainer. (Kind of like Hilton herself, huh?)

  6. j swift
    April 29, 2005 at 11:56 am

    Um, Ryan wouldn’t that be his name should be Spring. as Spring IN Paris.

  7. B
    April 29, 2005 at 12:26 pm

    Wow! I’m so happy for these kids. I hope they have a long and passionate union. One that produces no offspring. I figure that if we can keep these two together, but childless, at least until one Paris reaches menopause and the other becomes too old to function sexually, we will have saved the world from any further propagation of their DNA. So please everyone, include them in your prayers.

  8. April 29, 2005 at 12:47 pm

    [threadjack]

    I just saw a story on Google News (reported by Reuters) saying that Elizabeth Stroud, the woman defrocked last year by the United Methodist Church after telling her congregation that she was in a committed relationship with another woman, has won her appeal and been reinstated as a Methodist minister.

    [/threadjack]

  9. April 29, 2005 at 12:52 pm

    I saw this post and I was all like, “Good lord I can’t stand Paris Hilton,” and Americans were all like, “STFU we like her she’s rich and blonde,” and I was all like, “I think that Job put up with less.”

  10. April 29, 2005 at 1:41 pm

    Swift. No, I was thinking of Paris in Spring. Either way, depending on synthetic appendages.

  11. April 29, 2005 at 3:10 pm

    Paris, what a marvelous role model. She is so hot. All young women would do well to emulate her.

  12. April 29, 2005 at 3:47 pm

    People think she’s stupid. And she makes a fortune being the dumb sexy blonde girl. Maybe she is stupid. She has an annoying voice I know that much.

  13. Kyra
    April 29, 2005 at 4:28 pm

    They can share the same monogrammed stuff. And she doesn’t have to struggle to remember his name. (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

  14. April 29, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    Very nice, Kyra. I often ponder the fate of Paris in parallel to the fates of other dim-bulb, talent-free blondes.

    I like to think that our nation’s regressive mood has gotten to the point where our culture craves another Zsa Zsa Gabor. And, by golly, we’ve got her! I’d love to see a remake of ‘Queen of Outer Space.’ Paris could handle it … then again, the dialogue might be too much for her.

  15. April 30, 2005 at 11:56 am

    How much of a narcissist are you to date someone with your same name? I mean, man. If I was a lesbian I’d rather shoot myself than play “Jennifer who? Which one?” all the damn time in my relationship.

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