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Lauren founded this blog in 2001.
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8 Responses

  1. Kim Wells
    Kim Wells May 10, 2005 at 11:04 am |

    A computer game that has a great female protagonist, isn’t all about sex, is a problem solving game that helps you to think about how things work together as well as about story-telling, which I really loved playing, was called The Longest Journey. The girl in the game is a young adult, and while she does wear somewhat skimpy clothes in part of the game, it’s not nearly as fetishized as most games. In fact, it’s moderate enough to make her almost seem NOT to be skimpily dressed. (Granted, not totally, but it is still a video game).

    She overcomes the obstacles by her wits, she’s an artist, and another really cool thing is that she never dies in the game. I think that is a really important feature, stressing not so much the violence but adventure and thinking.

    http://www.longestjourney.com/

  2. Thomas
    Thomas May 10, 2005 at 12:36 pm |

    1. My mother. What she thought, and also how hard it was for her to just live her life. I learned what patriarchy meant by watching my mother’s troubles. Also, my early girlfriends and sex partners, from whom I learned that society is unkind to women who express their sexuality.

    2. The bad reputation. While the whole left might do better in the area of differing without destroying, I really think that demonization of feminism and aversion to the term are bigger problems than the internal divisions.

    3. Christian fundamentalism. Religious fundamentalism is the single biggest problem in the world, in my view. Other regions have problems with other religions, but we have a problem with Christian fundamentalism. As a practical matter, I’d love to see them storm out of the Republican party and form their own, splitting the right fatally.

    4. My son is so young that I can’t really answer this yet. But, as a feminist man, there are lots of problems I think I won’t face. I’ll never worry that he will think feminism is man-hating or a rejection of him.

    5. Lauren, I’m with you on this one. Mobility is huge. Once the boy in in bed, my wife and I are in for the night. I’m very fortunate that my wife’s family is available for babysitting at my place on a fairly regular basis. That allows the occasional date.

    Thomas

  3. Terrance
    Terrance May 10, 2005 at 4:38 pm |

    Thanks for your answers! I can tell you thought a lot about the questions. In fact, I may just go bck and try to answer my own questions.

  4. Michelle
    Michelle May 11, 2005 at 3:51 pm |

    Great blog, Lauren – I have thoroughly enjoyed what I’ve read so far. I am a recent alum of a Ball State graduate program, so I understand the plight of a feminist living in this state. Uggg.

  5. emjaybee
    emjaybee May 11, 2005 at 4:34 pm |

    I just found out we’re having a little boy, and have been spending lots of time thinking about how to help him grow up to be the kind of man who isn’t afraid of feminism and values women as equals. It’s a pretty intimidating task to think of all the time. But posts like this help. Also the fact that his dad has always been a feminist without the label, due to his wonderful mom. And his wonderful self. So I try not to worry too much.

  6. janet
    janet May 11, 2005 at 5:29 pm |

    I have a funny story to tell. All names are made up.

    I have a friend who’s the single mother of a boy, now about 13. When he was younger (I’m not sure how old, maybe 6) he asked her what “gay” meant, and she said that a gay man has a boyfriend instead of a wife or a girlfriend, and vice versa for a gay woman. Her son said he thought this was yucky, and the conversation continued thus:

    Mom: “Well, you know, we have gay friends.”
    Son: “We do?”
    Mom: “Yes. Eddie [the boy's godfather] is gay.”
    Son: (shocked) “Eddie has a boyfriend?”
    Mom: (momentarily thrown off) “Well, no, actually he doesn’t. But our friend Marco does.”
    Son: (still shocked) “Marco has a boyfriend? Does Jimmy know?”

    Jimmy, of course, is the boyfriend.

  7. a nut
    a nut May 11, 2005 at 9:04 pm |

    Hello! I totally hear you on the #4 and #5. It’s like you popped inside my head and synched up, ja know?

    The mobility was the biggest thing for me too because, like you, I like to be out and in the world. Today, we were on campus sitting outside at one of the tables when I realized I had forgotten napkins. Peanut looked at me and said, “But I can take care of myself.” Ahhh, such a cute little monkey.

    But that #4 is the biggest issue because it will only continue to grow more challenging as the boys get older, get into sports, and so on. Like emjaybee said, it gets intimidating when you think about it all the time.

  8. Joel
    Joel May 12, 2005 at 8:58 am |

    Susan Fahludi listened to women and wrote down what they told her. Backlash was a book about feelings and I think it accurately represented the state of the American woman’s mind.

    She followed it up with a similar book in which she interviewed men. Screwed likewise reflected what American men were thinking.

    I believe that Fahludi did fine work in both cases. She documented the terrible pressures put upon human beings. Maybe that is not “doctrinaire feminism”, but it is good and honest reporting. The moral of the story is that it is important to listen.

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