Hah. Gotta love stupid puns about repulsive, sexist deodorant websites. I wasn’t aware that even deodorant could be marketed with such over-the-top sexism, but the Axe website proves that it can. You build (or “customize,” as they call it, kind of like a car) your “dream girl,” and Axe tells you what kind of body spray to purchase to snag her. Rad. Now, my slow dial-up connection was taking a few minutes to get me all the way into the site, and after about 30 seconds I asked myself, “Wait, why am I looking at an Axe deodorant site to customize my dream girl?” so I clicked out of the page. But not before I read the lovely “page loading” message:
Your desires are important to us. Please continue to hold. loading legs loading firm buttocks loading swan-like necks loading super-sized chest you could bury your head in loading moist pillow lips loading seductive haunting eyes loading naughty tongue…
I’m just gonna skip the usual deconstruction of this website because, really, it’s not that complicated to see what’s going on here: women, like cars and other things you “customize,” are things. They serve a particular purpose in a man’s life, and that purpose is sexual, ornamental or both. Plus, you should buy things. Things like Axe. Because buying things gets you more things.
So everything else aside, let me just add this: Axe stinks. Seriously. I’ve smelled it, and it’s nasty. I also have a (perhaps unfair, but now… maybe not) stereotype about the type of guy who uses Axe body spray — and it’s not appealing. And let me reiterate: It. Is. Smelly. No offense to any nice boys or girls out there who use it — but do you even exist? Are there nice, cool, progressive and socially conscious men and women who are purchasing and using Axe body spray, after their repulsive ad campaign and this inane website? Anyone?
Via Shankar at TK. Because for whatever reason, today I’m really feelin’ the blogs of conservative former NYU students.