Feminists Hate Sex

Can a bitch get a break?

Why do so many women not want to call themselves feminists? I sincerely think it’s because the word carries the stigma that feminists don’t like bonking — least of all bonking guys.

If feminism wants its good name back, it will have to come up with a pro-sex, highly bonkable feminist spokeswoman, who is seen to screw guys, and to like screwing them. Often. A feminist who digs cock.

Ahem. Well, I can think of a few “bonkable” feminists who “dig cock.” But most of us sex-obsessed feminists have moved far beyond the heteronormative memes and refuse to play nice with the PR machine.

Adam Ash needs to pick up BUST’s One-Handed Read, among other feminist erotica, and rethink his thesis.

via Archaeopteryx, a brand new, kickass, feminist-minded blog by a grad student in the sciences.

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31 comments for “Feminists Hate Sex

  1. May 27, 2005 at 12:01 pm

    I love it when guys haven’t heard of women doing something,
    and then assume that means women aren’t doing it.

    And what he really seems to be saying is that he wants a feminist he can jerk off to. One he can fantasize really, really wants to blow him. Cuz that’s how we get our political ideas taken seriously- we look and act like porn stars.

  2. May 27, 2005 at 12:07 pm

    I’m a feminist and I like sex. Maybe this guy just has a small penis.

  3. May 27, 2005 at 12:16 pm

    So, he wants someone who is breaking away from male-perpetuated stereotypes… who embodies those same stereotypes?

    Maybe I’m misreading. Maybe he simply wants a strong, independent woman who is also well-sexed, but I can’t help feeling like his view of sex is still shackled within a dominant male paradigm. What is sexy through the looking glass of feminism?

  4. May 27, 2005 at 12:21 pm

    I’m another feminist who likes sex. I even own sex toys. If anti-feminists who think I’m a man-hater saw what’s in my closet their heads would explode.

  5. May 27, 2005 at 12:38 pm

    I couldn’t help thinking of Maude Lebowski when I read that.

  6. May 27, 2005 at 1:12 pm

    I thought Gloria S. was the stand-in “I love hot sex all the time” sex kitten.

  7. May 27, 2005 at 2:54 pm

    Who the hell says “bonking”??

  8. jam
    May 27, 2005 at 3:23 pm

    I thought Gloria S. was the stand-in “I love hot sex all the time” sex kitten.

    i would like to nominate Ms. Judd as a stand-in feminist sex kitten. i (tragically) can’t vouch for whether or not she loves hot sex all the time, though….

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  10. May 27, 2005 at 3:45 pm

    Like I said on my blog, that reads like a cheap pick-up line. He’s probably just trying to get feminists to “prove” we like sex. Preferably with pictures.

  11. Skip
    May 27, 2005 at 4:23 pm

    What are heteronormative memes?

  12. May 27, 2005 at 4:29 pm

    Skip, I think “groupthink” probably would have been a better term.

  13. May 27, 2005 at 4:53 pm

    I thought Gloria S. was the stand-in “I love hot sex all the time” sex kitten

    yeah, but she’s so 2nd wave. apparently we need a young, 3rd wave hottie.

  14. May 27, 2005 at 5:02 pm

    No, no. Apparently Steinem only fucked pussy-whipped pro-feminist men. According to Ash, we need a young sexpot who likes to boink real men.

  15. May 27, 2005 at 5:11 pm

    People bag on Dworkin, but for some reason, I don’t think her male partner was complaining.

  16. May 27, 2005 at 5:16 pm

    now, is it “boink” or “bonk”? i get confused by all the crazy new slang/weird kinky stuff the youngsters are using these days.

  17. May 27, 2005 at 5:25 pm

    Feminists don’t have sex with men?

    Some women have just listened to the echelons of the Rightwing Male who — understandably — just can’t get laid themselves. So they cry that feminists are all lesbians.

    That some lesbians proposed, a few years ago, that only lesbians could be true feminists was fodder for these male chauvinists. They blew an extreme minority (of lesbians as well as feminists) into the guiding light of the movement.

  18. Creeping Jenny
    May 27, 2005 at 5:32 pm

    I’m tempted to point out that I’m a hot feminist, and offer to screw Ash using a brand-new strap-on. I bet that’d shut him up pretty quick. Then I could complain about how misogynists are all ugly and don’t like sex.

  19. May 27, 2005 at 6:05 pm

    Even supposedly wimpy pro-feminist men have The Cock for the loving.

  20. May 27, 2005 at 6:08 pm

    Trish said-“I’m another feminist who likes sex. I even own sex toys. If anti-feminists who think I’m a man-hater saw what’s in my closet their heads would explode.”

    If only you were single…

  21. May 27, 2005 at 6:55 pm

    I prefer “boink” over “bonk.” I think it has more flair.

    Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be on a blogging break.

  22. Thomas
    May 27, 2005 at 7:24 pm

    Jenny, I have the urge to volunteer to take Ash’s place. It wouldn’t shut me up, though …

  23. May 27, 2005 at 9:06 pm

    Here’s what I don’t get: If we hate sex so much, how do we keep getting pregnant to have our millions of abortions?

  24. May 27, 2005 at 9:20 pm

    Hi Lauren,
    Thanks for your comment but I still ask – what is a “heteronormative meme”? I presume it’s an idea that promotes the notion that heterosexual couplings, feelings, etc. are “normal”. I’ve seen the term “heteronormative” on other feminist blogs and am wondering if it is now de rigueur in some cirlces. And regardless of the misogynistic writing, what do you think of his hypothesis? Rightly or wrongly, do you think the term “feminist” suffers from a stigma that feminists don’t like sex?

    Take care

  25. Creeping Jenny
    May 27, 2005 at 9:32 pm

    Thomas, that’s kind of hot, but I’m already married to a wonderful guy. So with the exception of my husband, I’m only willing offer kinky sex to people who would be afraid to take me up on the offer ;) I’m sure you’ll make some woman very happy with your enthusiastic attitude, though.

  26. May 27, 2005 at 9:37 pm

    Skippy, if feminism is suffering for appearing undersexed, our naysayers haven’t been reading the literature. If anything, the third wave is notoriously oversexed comparing to preceeding generations.

  27. May 27, 2005 at 11:24 pm

    Skippy, I have to concur with Lauren. Anti-feminists that have trolled me will call me anti-sex in one post and then over-sexed in another. Pro-sex feminists take a lot of heat from anti-feminists because our main goal is to make it clear that women have sexual subjectivity, which threatens a lot of people.

  28. May 28, 2005 at 8:02 am

    Lauren & Amanda,
    Thanks for your replies. Considering the company I keep and the fact that I live in a fairly progressive city, Madison, WI, I’m not sure I have a good view of how feminism is viewed generally. For instance, I frequent and have taken classes at a store here called A Woman’s Touch (a-womans-touch.com). Now, from looking at the owners & workers and my fellow patrons, I’d say that feminists definitely don’t have an aversion to sex. But what I’m trying to understand is the perception of, say, Jane & Joe Six-Pack in Kansas – people who haven’t and probably never will read the literature. Amanda, is it purely men that troll and say you’re anti- or over-sexed? And a question for both of you: can you recommend some feminist literature to me? This is an area in which my knowledge is far exceeded by my ignorance. I’m more familiar with the likes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Emma Goldman than anyone of a more recent vintage. Well, except for one of my heroes, Anne Nicol Gaylor, who is a fellow Madisonian.

    Take care

  29. May 28, 2005 at 10:49 am

    Would it be considered a pro-sex feminist act if I bashed the heteronormativity out of his skull with a dildo?

    Well, it would be fun, anyway.

    Skippy, check out writers like Adrienne Rich (especially “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence”), Audre Lorde (particularly Zami), bell hooks, Gloria Anzaldua, Helene Cixous and Luce Irigaray, etc. You should be able to find some good anthologies of feminist thinking at your library; I think that would be a good place to start.

  30. Thomas
    May 29, 2005 at 6:30 am

    Jenny, I’m also married, and my wife keeps me plenty satisfied (in between diaper changes — we have a small boy at home.) I said I had the urge to volunteer, but I’m probably not in a position to take you up on it. I do wave the kinkster flag on feminist blogs, though, because my sexuality very much informs my feminism.

  31. May 29, 2005 at 10:49 am

    Andygrrl – thanks for the recommendations. Now, what’s all this talk of kink? ;)

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