Comments on: Feminists Hate Sex

By: skippy

skippy — Sun, 29 May 2005 15:49:54 +0000

Andygrrl – thanks for the recommendations. Now, what’s all this talk of kink? ;)

By: Thomas

Thomas — Sun, 29 May 2005 11:30:17 +0000

Jenny, I’m also married, and my wife keeps me plenty satisfied (in between diaper changes — we have a small boy at home.) I said I had the urge to volunteer, but I’m probably not in a position to take you up on it. I do wave the kinkster flag on feminist blogs, though, because my sexuality very much informs my feminism.

By: Andygrrl

Andygrrl — Sat, 28 May 2005 15:49:16 +0000

Would it be considered a pro-sex feminist act if I bashed the heteronormativity out of his skull with a dildo?

Well, it would be fun, anyway.

Skippy, check out writers like Adrienne Rich (especially “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence”), Audre Lorde (particularly Zami), bell hooks, Gloria Anzaldua, Helene Cixous and Luce Irigaray, etc. You should be able to find some good anthologies of feminist thinking at your library; I think that would be a good place to start.

By: skippy

skippy — Sat, 28 May 2005 13:02:27 +0000

Lauren & Amanda,
Thanks for your replies. Considering the company I keep and the fact that I live in a fairly progressive city, Madison, WI, I’m not sure I have a good view of how feminism is viewed generally. For instance, I frequent and have taken classes at a store here called A Woman’s Touch (a-womans-touch.com). Now, from looking at the owners & workers and my fellow patrons, I’d say that feminists definitely don’t have an aversion to sex. But what I’m trying to understand is the perception of, say, Jane & Joe Six-Pack in Kansas – people who haven’t and probably never will read the literature. Amanda, is it purely men that troll and say you’re anti- or over-sexed? And a question for both of you: can you recommend some feminist literature to me? This is an area in which my knowledge is far exceeded by my ignorance. I’m more familiar with the likes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Emma Goldman than anyone of a more recent vintage. Well, except for one of my heroes, Anne Nicol Gaylor, who is a fellow Madisonian.

Take care

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 28 May 2005 04:24:11 +0000

Skippy, I have to concur with Lauren. Anti-feminists that have trolled me will call me anti-sex in one post and then over-sexed in another. Pro-sex feminists take a lot of heat from anti-feminists because our main goal is to make it clear that women have sexual subjectivity, which threatens a lot of people.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sat, 28 May 2005 02:37:40 +0000

Skippy, if feminism is suffering for appearing undersexed, our naysayers haven’t been reading the literature. If anything, the third wave is notoriously oversexed comparing to preceeding generations.

By: Creeping Jenny

Creeping Jenny — Sat, 28 May 2005 02:32:03 +0000

Thomas, that’s kind of hot, but I’m already married to a wonderful guy. So with the exception of my husband, I’m only willing offer kinky sex to people who would be afraid to take me up on the offer ;) I’m sure you’ll make some woman very happy with your enthusiastic attitude, though.

By: skippy

skippy — Sat, 28 May 2005 02:20:07 +0000

Hi Lauren,
Thanks for your comment but I still ask – what is a “heteronormative meme”? I presume it’s an idea that promotes the notion that heterosexual couplings, feelings, etc. are “normal”. I’ve seen the term “heteronormative” on other feminist blogs and am wondering if it is now de rigueur in some cirlces. And regardless of the misogynistic writing, what do you think of his hypothesis? Rightly or wrongly, do you think the term “feminist” suffers from a stigma that feminists don’t like sex?

Take care

By: Jill

Jill — Sat, 28 May 2005 02:06:16 +0000

Here’s what I don’t get: If we hate sex so much, how do we keep getting pregnant to have our millions of abortions?

By: Thomas

Thomas — Sat, 28 May 2005 00:24:43 +0000

Jenny, I have the urge to volunteer to take Ash’s place. It wouldn’t shut me up, though …