Something I’ve been saying for a long time:
When it comes to the between-the-sheets aspect of the relationship, Carroll agreed that a girl couldn’t do much better than a less-than-perfect male specimen. “We’ve all been to bed with the guy who is worried about what he looks like, checking the mirror before he gets in bed,” she said. “The nerd, gloriously, stunningly, perfectly, is into the woman. That right there is very stirring, sexually.”
via Shankar
That’s great, but I’m not holding my breath waiting for the article about how us geeky girls who aren’t constantly preening and dieting are better lovers. We are, of course, but it’s a big, fat secret.
[...] eturn of my landlady. Ongoing Britishes, please keep licensing your televisions. And via Feministe, male nerds are now officially sexy but it seems female nerds are [...]
I’d settle for any article about geeky girls that doesn’t treat us as rare and precious circus freaks, really.
Hmmmm, while reading the article, I was more than a bit annoyed by the fact that all the examples were of conventionally attractive women paired with nerdy men. Sounds to me like one of the classic male fantasies, not really women-oriented at all.
Oh yeah, and the “but nerds *provide* better” got up my nose, too.
That’s something I’ve been saying for a long time too, you know, but I always thought I was lying out of self-interest.
I’ve got to second PZ’s sentiment there. I know I went into theoretical chemistry to meet women.
Echoing Crys T… Some young actress on a cheesy Fox series hooked up with her co-star, who plays a geeky character on the show? Near-billionaire Tiger Woods managed to somehow land a Swedish model? Why, there is hope for me!
I generally avoid articles that have the clause “If Hollywood is any indication…” stuck in the middle. Well, except for this one.
Unfortunately, my experience with geeks is they are no better or worse than their less geeky counterparts. Of course, I’m vaguely geeky, so maybe geek men look down on me, too.
Not sure if I’m a geek man, but geekiness is definitely sexy.
Actually, what you’re saying reminds me of something. A progressive female Hoosier told me that she’s seen no difference in the ‘effectiveness’ of conservatives and liberals. It could be that becoming a good lover has more to do with experience, willingness to listen/learn, confidence, etc.
Then there’s always the nagging issues of chemistry and chemicals.
I never know if I’m a geek or not. I mean, I have some of the attributes, but my chosen field of endeavor is not one that is nowadays identified with geekiness.
First, I second what Amanda said.
Second, is this a good time to bring up the new Warner Brothers show Beauty and the Geek?
There is never a good time to bring up the WB show Beauty and the Geek.
I whipped out my laptop and sat down to watch Beauty and the Geek, and about 5 minutes in when I realized I had thrown up all my food and was only dry-heaving, I decided that the world could live without my take on that program.
How can you both say this? Don’t you have a sense of humor, Ampersand and Amanda? And, after all, women are getting equal exposure.
I rather expect ads for the show to be appearing on Kos any day now.
Oh, yeah, a Feministe link. Sends that sweet traffic rolling in.
Ryan said:
You’ve got it all wrong, man. Conservatives are all freaky in the bedroom, because they have to be so stodgy and straight-laced on the outside. Trust me. It’ll be in the Daily News within a week.
I think I will agree with both the article and Amanda (and all those who echoed her): Geeks do it better, both male and female.
…Not that I would actually know this, unfortunately…
Also, conventionally pretty=not pretty in the least if you ask me (no offense to those who are “conventionally” pretty; I just don’t find you attractive). If a woman doesn’t have at least a little bit of geek in her, it just won’t work for me.
“We’ve all been to bed with the guy who is worried about what he looks like, checking the mirror before he gets in bed,” she said. “
We have? News to me.
Amanda, I don’t know why nobody says “how us geeky girls who aren’t constantly preening and dieting are better lovers.” My experience with women who were not the accepted kind of attractive has been _really_really_ good.
I’m pulling theory out of my hat, here (which has never stopped me before) but I think there are a number of variables, at least four of which occur to me: attractiveness, weight, development timing, and what I’ll call appearance conformity.
I think woman who have been exposed to full-on patriarchal male sexuality often develop defense mechanisms that involve some self-censorship of their sexuality, while women who are left alone to develop more internally do not. The degree to which women are exposed to the pressure of male sexual attention is really variable, though I would suggest it tends to increase with more attractive women, those who develop physically earlier, those who are thinner, and those who dress to conform to beauty ideals rather than adopt opt-out fashion subcultures, self-stigmatization or visible rebellion. (It also depends a lot, I think, on chance. One rapist can do immeasurable damage to the inner life of a young woman.)
“Hmmmm, while reading the article, I was more than a bit annoyed by the fact that all the examples were of conventionally attractive women paired with nerdy men. Sounds to me like one of the classic male fantasies, not really women-oriented at all.”
Well, given that the point of the story was that women that can have their pick of men would do well to pick geeks, I’m not sure why examples of, well, women that could have their pick of men picking geeks and being happy about it aren’t appropriate.
And yes, being with a beautiful woman is the classic male fantasy. Surely you’re not suggesting that just because it’s something we want, we shouldn’t have it, are you? Is it “not woman-oriented” because the woman is getting nerd-cooties all over her? Or is it not “woman-oriented” because the nerd is happy and enjoying himself and that in itself is offensive?
“The nerd, gloriously, stunningly, perfectly, is into the woman.”
No guarantee of that. Desperate people (which is assumed here) do not better lovers make. However Carroll said nerd, not geek. Geeks are sexy, nerds are not. That’s the difference, right? ;-)
No nerds for me. Bring on the geeks. They may not be better lovers, but they’re a darn sight more interesting to talk to and debate with. Intelligence is sexy.