None of this information takes into account that if you try long and hard enough you will eventually get a picture of your cat angrily guarding your sock drawer.
Or killing a LEGO tire.
See more feline deliciousness, including Doug wrecking more of Ethan’s LEGO buildings, at my Flickr account.
And now time for the Friday Random Ten/Fifteen: Load up your mp3s, set to random, list the first ten/fifteen that play. If you’re extra cool, you will rate them on the Scale of Coolness (1 being wack and 10 being bitchin’). Highest average score gets a bad white kitty with orange spots shipped at your own expense.
1) Sizzla – Can’t Cool, Can’t Quench
Good song, but would be way cooler if Sizzla weren’t so proudly and openly homophobic. 6/10
2) Billy Joel – Uptown Girl
Ouch. I’m supposed to be cooler than this. 3/10
3) The White Stripes – Seven Nation Army
Jack dated Renee Zellweger and that’s not cool. Wait, am I rating the music or the musicians? 5/10
4) Bootsy Collins – I’d Rather Be With You
You know you like this song, maybe even better than the Eazy-E remake. Bootsy is funky and the Scandanavians love him. It’s way cooler than the Germans and David Hasselhoff. 8/10
5) Johnny Darrell – Why You Been Gone So Long?
Country porch rock, perfect for summertime cruising. 6/10
6) Bjork – Venus As a Boy
Good song, but I heard it way too much at a local diner, now closed, called Utopia. My entire teenage social life revolved around this shit diner and I don’t need any more reminders unless we’re talking bottomless coffee cups and potato wedges with sour cream. 5/10
7) Lynyrd Skynyrd – Sweet Home Alabama
Never let it be said that Lauren does not love her family roots (erm, Arkansas, not Alabama). 9/10
8) The Libertines – Road To Ruin
Ultimately singable song that is easily made fun of, a la “Wayne’s World” the movie. Slightly reminiscent of The Doors. This is cool. 7/10
9) Wanda Jackson – The Box It Came In
Not my favorite Wanda Jackson song, but I’ll take whatever I can get from this country goddess. Loss of points for being typical loss-of-love country ditty. 6/10
10) L7 – Baggage
I’ll admit it, I still love L7. VH1 had a Top 100 Metal Bands show or some such bullshit in which L7 was one of, oh, three bands featuring women who didn’t roll all over Ferraris or pour water over their deliciously tight tees. What was the theme of the L7 montage? The girls were so ugly no one wanted to fuck them. I nearly threw my bowl of Kashi through the TV, milk, spoon and all. Donita, Dee, Jennifer and Suzi, this rating is for you. 10/10
Plus five for extra measure:
11) Rufus Wainwright – A Bit Of You
Swanky love song by my favorite crooner. I love that Rufus’ catalog is by men, for men, about men. And the CD cover for this album is hot. Good song. 8/10
12) Elvis Costello – Deep Dark Truthful Mirror (live, MTV Unplugged)
Considering that this is one of my all time favorite songs and the live version is quite possibly better than the studio version, I give this song a hearty 10/10.
13) Classic 70s Porn Music – Sex World
I’m not sure where this came from because I didn’t download it. It’s totally porn music though. 4/10
14) Dick Justice – Henry Lee
You know, I like the Nick Cave version so much better than the original. This is the kind of thing that belongs on a movie soundtrack, not on my playlist. 6/10
15) Cypress Hill – Hits From The Bong
I must have been having a nostagia day when I downloaded this. 5/10
This list proves I am at least 65.33% cool by the Simple Random Sample taken by Winamp. I beg to differ.