An Oddity

Ever since Johnny Depp first appeared to me in a dream (in which we hung out at his parents’ house, who were Mormon, and he was the oldest of ten brothers and sisters all of whom named Fawn, and I was kicked out for smoking in the basement), Mr. Depp has become a dreamland benefactor. He comes to me and offers all sorts of positive advice for whatever issue it is I am facing, as in the other night when he gave me advice on how to keep Brad Pitt from breaking up my relationship with Ryan.

No more late night chai.


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11 comments for “An Oddity

  1. June 30, 2005 at 9:46 pm

    Lucky you! You get Johnny Depp; I once got Richard Nixon.

  2. June 30, 2005 at 10:34 pm

    I must start drinking chai immediately. Maybe sooner.

  3. June 30, 2005 at 11:13 pm

    Was the chai spiced with bourbon? ;)

  4. June 30, 2005 at 11:42 pm

    Most common dream character: This freckle-faced girl named Linda who I hung out with on the playground in third grade. We were friends, but it was an uneven relationship. She would routinely mess with my head by claiming things that were definitely untrue, but that I couldn’t bring myself to totally reject at that age. She’s still doing it to me.

  5. June 30, 2005 at 11:47 pm

    Dude, I think you’re having my dreams. Give them back.

  6. Joni
    July 1, 2005 at 12:06 am

    Wondering when you might take a peek at those designs so we can get them implemented If you’ve sent me mail, I haven’t received it.

    Peace out.

    Joni

  7. jam
    July 1, 2005 at 7:14 am

    Ms. Lauren writes: No more late night chai.

    excuse me? did you say “no more” to the fabulous elixer that has brought The Depp into your very dreams as a mystical fount of wisdom & insight to keep you on the path of true love & positive vibration? wow… well, i guess you know what you’re doing.

    actually, you don’t know what you’re doing. i was just being nice. number one, no one says “no” to The Depp. that’s just silly. more importantly, be thankful you didn’t have my dream: i’m a young father with a small daughter on the run from a terrifying army of rampaging Tom Cruises’s’s’s!!! it was horrible, i tell you… just horrible.

  8. WookieMonster
    July 1, 2005 at 10:30 am

    I will gladly volunteer to take your Johnny Depp dreams for you. Then I’d just have to figure out lucid dreaming…

  9. ELIZABETH
    July 1, 2005 at 3:22 pm

    Man I keep having these weird dreams where Johnny Depp is like one of my 3 best friends. I think is because i’m obsessed with him. But in one dream was actually get together. It was so romantic. I wish it really happend for real.

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  11. SadieB.
    July 2, 2005 at 12:11 pm

    I got Bill Clinton. He took me to senior prom. Thankfully the dream ended there.

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