What Caused Katrina?

Abortion? The gays? Girls Gone Wild? It’s time to add another cause to the list of reasons for divine retribution: The middle east peace process.

The article is so laden with ridiculous theories that it’s a pretty fun read, and I’m having a hard time picking out which parts are the craziest. Read the whole thing, but here’s a taste:

As Aaron Klein pointed out exactly two months after the July 7 London bombings, many rabbis in Israel believe that Katrina’s wrath was Divine retribution for America’s pivotal role in the Gaza and northern Samaria forced evacuations, which were completed just two days before the powerful hurricane made landfall between Miami and Fort Lauderdale and five days before it ripped apart much of America’s Gulf coast. Mere coincidence?

It is interesting to note that the name Katrina begins and ends with the vowel “a,” as does Gaza. If you take out the middle part, “tri,” which means three, you get Kana, which is the name of the Galilee town in Samaria where Jesus did his first public miracle, turning water into wine. If you add a final “n” to that you get Kanan – the original biblical name of the Holy Land. This is obviously just coincidence.

Those readers prone to dismiss out of hand the proposition that Israel’s Sovereign Lord might have been signaling unhappiness over the U.S. role in the forced Jewish uprootings should consider a few chilling facts: Both events began with security personnel knocking on residential homes in a portion of the coastal south in order to warn residents to immediately evacuate their homes, although for clearly different reasons. In both cases, thousands of residents were reluctant to leave, fearing they would never return to their beloved homes. Indeed, several thousand homes were leveled in Gaza and northern Samaria, while hundreds of thousands were destroyed or badly damaged along America’s Gulf coast.

In both instances, people suddenly became effective refugees in their own lands; many forced to move to temporary shelter. Security personnel faced personal danger from angry, sometimes violent, residents. Looting then followed by some of those remaining behind. Both affected regions played a significant role in foreign exports, especially of agricultural products, resulting in substantial economic loss to the countries involved. Approximately the same overall percentage of citizens in both cases lost their homes and/or businesses. Coincidence?

Dude, he’s so wrong! It should be clear by now that Starbucks caused Katrina, with their homo-promoting and whatnot. Duh.

To be fair, some right-wingers do want the lunatic fringe to shut up.