Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day

Today is so piratey that all the children in Ethan’s school were asked to dress like pirates. I put him in a bandana and a second-hand pirate hat. He was thrilled.

“Mama, how’s my hat?”
“You mean, ‘How’s me hat?'”
“Mom. Stop it.”

Maybe it’s just me.

I hope someone finds this as amusing as I do: a brief explanation of feminismby a pirate.

“Feminist” can simply mean that ye be an advocate for equal starboards for women Someone sayin’ “I advocate equal starboards for women” or the related thought that “I would like t’ be judged based on me merit, not me gender” does not necessarily lead t’ the conclusion that they will make ye spell “women” funny, be workin’ toward the destruction o’ the nuclear family, or feel that women be better than men. AAARRGGHHH!

See also: the Corsair Ergonomic Keyboard for piratical bloggers.

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11 Responses to Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day

  1. Hubris says:

    It sure as hell made me laugh. And isn’t it about time that we addressed the issue of equal starboards?

  2. Anne says:


    You should tell E to make sure to put an “Aarrrgh matey!” at the end of every sentence.

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  6. Kristen from MA says:

    As a newly converted Pastafarian, this post made me very happy!


  7. David Thompson says:

    “Mama, how’s my hat?”

    “Avast ye lubber, truly ye be the scourge o’ the Spanish Main!” (The Spanish Main in this instance being the lunch line for tacos.)

    The boy is at an impressionable age, so you should set aside some time to explain the while the life of a pirate may seem glamorous, wealthy, and fun (how many jobs call for scaring people by weaving firecrackers into your beard?), the reality leans heavily toward buggery, poor hygiene, and having your head cut off, installed in an iron cage, and mounted on a pole at the mouth of the Hampton River for a few decades.

  8. Thomas says:

    You’ve been watching Dodgeball again.

  9. Thomas says:

    Incidentally, there’s a joke to be had here by feigning righteous indignation at the continued stereotyping of pirates, who are in fact still in existence and hard at work stealing ships throughout the waterways of Southeast Asia. But, while the “guy with a parrot and eyepatch” version is funny, the “poor guys from the Phillipines shooting the poor guys from China” stuff is too grim, and my heart’s not in it.

  10. AndiF says:

    With the request for good reads from the “Review” post and this one on International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I’d have to walk the plank if I didn’t mention the book, “The Pirate Queen: In Search of Grace O’Malley and Other Legendary Women of the Sea” by Barbara Sjoholm.

  11. Auguste says:

    Arrrr! This tradition be from Oregon, matey!

    I’ve never been so proud.

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