Comments on: Worst Pick-Up Line Ever

By: Therese Norén

Therese Norén — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 20:25:05 +0000

“I’ve never been this close to a girl before” still is the worst I’ve heard.

But then, he was fifteen at the time (and I was seventeen), and he sat with his arms and legs around my waist.

By: Brad

Brad — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 10:37:38 +0000

How about….

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
Is your father a farmer? Because you sure do have some nice melons!
You’re so hot, you melt the elastic in my underwear.
I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

Pick-up lines suck: http://www.adventures-of-a-pua.com/2005/09/pickup_lines_suck.html

Natural conversation is much better…

Brad

By: Tapir

Tapir — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 02:51:42 +0000

It’s not really a pick-up line, but my mom was just telling me about a telephone call she got.

Mom: Hello?
Guy: Hi, is Shelly there?
Mom: No, I think you have the wrong number.
Guy: Are you sure?
Mom: Um…
Guy: There’s no one named Shelly there?
Mom: No. Nobody named Shelly lives here.
Guy: Really? I met her last night at a party. She gave me her number. She’s 18 and she’s really hot. You’re sure she’s not there?

By: Kristjan Wager

Kristjan Wager — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 16:24:59 +0000

There is a bar in Copnehagen (Denmark) called Australian Bar, which has nothing to do with with Australia (except they sell Fosters), and no Australians I know off hang out there.
Once I was there with two of my female friends, and while I was up getting beers for all of us, two young guys sat down and started hitting on them. My friends are from Poland and Lithuania, and it basicly went like this:

Guys: “Hi, we’re from Australia” (said with heavy Danish accent)
My friends: “Uhmmm, ok.”
Guys: “Like the bar”
My friends: “Ok”
Guys: “Ever been to Australia”
etc. etc.
At some stage I came back, and one of my friends introduced me as their Australian friend (strictly speaking I’m only half-Australian). This was the time the guys decided that they needed to go to the bar.

By: Constantine

Constantine — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 06:58:53 +0000

He says, “Your Catholic?! I thought you were Orthodox!” (Because of the red hair, and the long skirt, but what Orthodox Jewish woman would be wearing a sleeveless shirt in public. Puh-leeze.)

Uh, in the context of his statement he probably meant Orthodox Christian. Which actually wouldn’t be too much of a stretch in Brooklyn if you were taking the SAT prep class in Bay Ridge (Greek) or Brighton Beach (Russian).

By: Linnaeus

Linnaeus — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 16:25:07 +0000

*laugh* Beautiful takedown. Beautiful.

And kudos on the sleeveless turtleneck. For some reason, I really like that look.

By: syfr

syfr — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 05:57:49 +0000

A guy, when I was in high school at a big national competition, asked me where I was from. I said, “Brooklyn!” (Perky, cute, all that. I enjoyed the male attention, I sure didn’t get a lot of it.) He said, “That’s near Rhode Island, right?” Um, no- IT’S NEW YORK CITY, IDIOT!!”

But the guy at the SAT prep course took the cake. I’m standing there in a just under the knee skirt, and a sleeveless turtleneck, and he asks me, “So, what high school do you go to?” I say, “[Insert name of Girls' Catholic school]” He says, “Your Catholic?! I thought you were Orthodox!” (Because of the red hair, and the long skirt, but what Orthodox Jewish woman would be wearing a sleeveless shirt in public. Puh-leeze.)
“Prove it to me, recite the Hail Mary!”
“I know it in three languages, French, English, and Latin. Which do you want?”
[idiot has to readjust his brain patterns, this is not what he expects]
“[Girls' High School], eh? I’ve been with every girl from that school.”
[I see my mom's car pull up.]
“Every girl but one!”

By: PetervE

PetervE — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 04:54:27 +0000

Shaula, I spent 4 months reading Proust in the train coming home from work. I’m an architect! (though not Scots..) Where the hell were you?

By: Shaula Evans

Shaula Evans — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 02:55:43 +0000

Jeff is right. That is the ultimate pick up line. :) Back in the single days, it would have totally worked on me. (I have a soft spot for geeks, what can I say?)

Worst lines I’ve received:
- If you grew your hair longer, you’d look more like my mom.
Okay, granted, that was in high school, and we were already dating. He was sweet and very talented, if extremely Oedipal, and we were probably dating because his very cool mom liked me.
- If you wore overall shorts, you’d look more like Brittany Spears.
Again, dating already. (I know. I could really pick’em.) Um, I look almost as much like Brittany Spears as Lauren Bacall does. That one didn’t last two long after that.

Best pick up
It wasn’t a line at all. I really picked up a guy once with just a come-hither crook of my finger. On an airplane. I’d spotted him in the lounge reading Milan Kundera. The pick up moment was like a scene from a Bond movie or something. I felt like the ultimate femme fatale. :) Turned out to be a Scottish architect. Also turned out to be one helluva weekend.

By: Jesse C

Jesse C — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 02:46:04 +0000

I think the most interesting pick-up line story I’ve got is as follows.

I was at a fashion show last year, talking with my friend D, who is pretty obviously gay. And as we’re standing there talking, another gay man approaches us and says hello and then turns to me and says “That girl over there was wondering if you were gay or straight.”
Would have worked too, except for the fact that my then girlfriend was sitting right behind me.