Together, you and I will destroy the gays.

Exactly.”

Eugene Mirman chats with the folks at UAT long distance. Give it a listen. You will not be sorry.

After all, “UAT is the only carrier that is taking an active stand against same-sex marriage and hardcore child pornography” (although perhaps not soft-core).

A tidbit:

Eugene: AT&T sponsors child pornography?
UAT: No, that’s MCI.

Eugene: Basically, God hates MCI, AT&T and Verizon.
UAT: Yes.

It only gets better, folks.

Author: Jill has written 4631 posts for this blog.

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11 Responses

  1. 1
    Lauren 9.28.2005 at 11:08 pm |

    Um, oh my god that’s weird. That’s all.

  2. 2
    norbizness 9.28.2005 at 11:32 pm |

    I saw Eugene at the “Comedians of Comedy” tour (review here) as a part of SWSX; as funny as his taped conversations with godly long distance companies were, his dating advice videotape was even better (look for the “Sexpert” spot on his website).

  3. 3
    Jeff 9.29.2005 at 3:19 am |

    The phone company has a Web site.

  4. 4
    binky 9.29.2005 at 9:28 am |

    I got “slammed” by a similar company, I think it was called “Lifeline” (cute, huh?) or maybe “AmericaLine” a few years ago. Honestly, I blotted it out. Sneaky evasive bastards switched my service without authorization (the usual) but then when I tried to get it corrected, they lied all over themselves talking about how I had chosen them for their firm moral stance. I was like look you dimwits, I have had working assets for ten years…do you even know who working assets are? I would switch from a company that gives donations to pro-choice orgs to the Pro-Life phone company? I wish I would have had Melman’s patience and ability to enjoy playing with them. Instead, I was so pissed that I had been billed for twice the cost of my normal service, and it was all going to some company associated with Randall Terry, I sicced the attorney general’s office on them.

  5. 5
    Kyra 9.29.2005 at 11:22 am |

    Thanks, Jeff! I clicked on that link without thinking about it, and now I have it on my history file!

    Binky–They can do that? Ugh! Although it would be very fun to rant and scream at people over the phone–the only time I get to do that is when the (probably fake) credit-card solicitors ask for my social security number.

  6. 6
    Rana 9.29.2005 at 4:59 pm |

    Kyra – they can but it is illegal to do it without your permission. Problem is, some slammers take a non-statement about your carrier (that is, you don’t take a clear position on which one you want) as “permission.”

    This is why, if possible, you should tell your phone company that no one is allowed to change your long-distance carrier without your explicit say-so. Most won’t be very proactive in protecting your rights otherwise, sad to say.

  7. 7
    binky 9.29.2005 at 8:14 pm |

    As Rana says, they can, but they are not supposed to. That’s why I called the attorney general’s office. They prosecute. ou can block such things by calling your phone company (the local one) and putting a block on changing your long distance carrier without our express consent.

  8. 8
    Krisco 9.30.2005 at 3:09 am |

    Found you via Flea.

    I heard that conversation a little while ago – it’s hilarious. And also completely disturbing. I almost think that customers (who knows who these people are) buy into it, but surely whoever started it is just an evil crank. No belief in it, just figuring someone is dumb enough to sign upl.

    Krisco

  9. 9
    DM 9.30.2005 at 10:34 am |

    What? Are you serious? I can’t pull up the link to listen to it because I’m at work but I’m assuming Eugene Mirman is making fun of them from what people have commented. But the idea of a phone company that’s against gays is so pathetic. Stupid people. Hey. Your comments have a preview. That is so cool.

  10. 10
    Lauren 9.30.2005 at 10:39 am |

    Totally serious. Here’s a partial transcript.

  11. 11
    Sharon 10.2.2005 at 6:36 pm |

    I am one of your Canadian Pervert Neighbours. This is incredible. I had no idea phone companies took a stand on social issues like this one. I guess I am naive. I don’t know how Eugene could keep a “straight voice” while talking to that woman. I would have screamed, or…laughed or…cried…

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