Tell you what, I’ll e-mail you and we’ll chat this out. I’m also very interewsted in have a gay/Lesbian/trans/poly/whatever perspective, but I’m not at all qualified for that. I wonder if Piny would be interested?

Hugo and Lauren: If you’ll have me, I’d be honoured to contribute. I’ll warn you, though, I’m a blog-virgin. (And the other kind, so I have limited experience to comment on… ;) I do, however, have lots of experience getting along with Feminists.)

It’s not “common sense”. Most of us have no clue. Case in point: some of you talked about a guy who pestered a woman for up to two years trying to convince her to go out with him. In his case it succeeded, but this is otherwise known as “stalking.” Any guys reading this: that is bad, bad, bad advice. Do not do that unless you like the concept of restraining orders. Even if it didn’t turn out that badly, and he was simply rejected – do you really want to invest that much time and energy on one person who may not even like you? It’s best to date other women, and stay friends with her. She might even change her mind once she sees you’re not fawning all over her like a needy puppy.

You also missed the point with respect to “arrogance.” David D’s thing is “Cocky + Funny.” If you’re just being arrogant, you’re not funny. In fact, in person DD doesn’t come off as arrogant at all. He’s a reserved, quietly-confident type of guy. If he says something that could be seen as arrogant, it’s also funny as hell, which changes the meaning of it completely. It’s playful. It’s flirting. You’d probably have to see it to understand it, you can’t really get the flavour from a marketing email. Whenever I’ve used it, it’s almost always had a positive reaction. Women know instantly what I’m doing and start flirting back. It doesn’t really matter how “attractive” they are, by the way, though I will admit it’s slightly easier with model-types just because being able to be normal around them is hugely distinctive.

David D sometimes takes an evo-psych approach that I don’t always agree with but I don’t think it matters much. He’s really clear that what a woman does is her choice. A man can attempt to attract a woman but if she’s not interested – too bad. This goes beyond just “No means No.” If your goal is getting attraction and not just getting sex then you stop seeing dating as a process of bombarding a woman with gifts and saying all the things she wants to hear until she eventually acquiesces and sleeps with you. You want her to want you, and that old thing of I’ll-sleep-with-you-because-I’m-just-too-tired-to-resist-you-anymore becomes a huge turn off. The ultimate goal, of course is to get a great relationship, and that’s what most of the guys I’ve met also want.

This post is genuine, I’m not a shill and I found this discussion by chance while reading feminist blogs. Incidentally I agree entirely with Hugo’s post on his blog and I suspect David D would too. His stuff works, I can assure you everything in his emails is real because I’ve seen and experienced it, and it’s made me a better man. I have no idea what the Irish thing is about though.

After all, we have so much trashing — rightly so — the silly dating advice that does exist out there! We should step up and see what we could produce.

Hmmm….. Anyone want to write that?

I won’t write it but if someone wants to write it, I’ll buy it ;-) .