Heidi Fleiss may be opening a brothel in Nevada — but this one is for women. She’s right that women are more sexually liberated than we were 30 years ago, and probably more likely to seek out sex for pleasure — but will we pay for it?
Serbs line up for testicle shocks as part of a new contraceptive treatment. It doesn’t sound particularly pleasant, but I’ll at least give my people credit for being so… enterprising. via Feministing.
Gays and lesbians in Jamaica may be on the way to securing basic rights. Guess who’s pissed?
Still, many in the devoutly religious Caribbean region reject the notion that gays and lesbians should be granted equal protection under the law, including the right to associate openly and receive public services, as well as to marry.
Yeah, don’t you hate it when minority groups as for that special right to association? Whiners.
Donate Your Uterus to the Good of the Cause! Amanda fires off one of the best blog posts I’ve read in a long, long time. Go, go, read, read.
Dan Savage tells Dems to buck up and propose a privacy amendment. I don’t agree with everything he says here, but the general sentiment is spot on.
Man, is there anything that won’t give you cancer?
Here’s some really, really bad advice: “My deranged neighbor is stalking me. What do I do?” “Move.” Well, sure, if you can afford to, that’s a great solution — but how about getting a restraining order while you’re at it? Creating a paper trail so that the next time this creep decides to follow a woman around, there’s evidence that he’s a habitual creep? Hell, even telling her to buy mase, take a self-defense course and get a big scary dog would have been better advice. The creep in question here is a poorly-socialized 18-year-old boy living with his seven siblings and his mother; he also seems to believe that he’s training to be a sniper. But there’s “no man in the house” and his mother is undoubtedly “frazzled,” so instead of letting her know that her son is a potential menace to society, this young woman — who moved home to save money for grad school — should be the one to re-locate. Right.
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Regarding the brothel for women, it’s funny that you bring that up, Jill. A couple of months ago, in one of the local indy free newspapers, our mildly famous local dominatrix wrote in her column that prostitution directed toward a female clientele won’t work because, “women don’t live in a world of sexual scarcity” and hence don’t need to pay for sex.
So, this could be an interesting test case.
You can make a study look like anything you want to, you just need the right people to manipulate the stats.
I believe what Linnaeus said.
The serbs are nuts!
Somebody needs to tell the democrats what to do, they are just standing around with their hands in their pockets.
The Serbian story is a joke. That is, the doctor is a joke. Check with coturnix at sciencepolitics.blogspot.com for more about this quack.
I thought male prostitution was illegal in Nevada?
Hmm. I can’t see the ladies’ brothel idea taking off. There’s still such a stigma attached to paying for sex (at least, when the woman is a professional), even among men. And even male exotic dancers are more of a funny ha-ha than ooo sexy novelty for women.
I’m not a particularly good feminist, so probably my feelings and thoughts on this are irredeemably warped by patriarchy, but I’d think that most women would be insulted if you suggested that they pay for sex. It might infer that you’re physically unsexy. (Because all women really have to be to get propositioned is physically attractive to the asker.)
Women over a certain age that have dropped off of the world’s sexual radar screen – and have a bunch of money to burn – will …
I’m still skeptical, Bill. Even if, for argument’s sake, your hypothetical is accurate (and I would dispute that to some degree), would the clientele be in sufficient numbers to support the brothel? I’m not convinced.
Does this mean that older women don’t get laid? I don’t buy it. Yes, I agree that older women are generally ignored and marginalized by mainstream advertisers, TV shows, magazines, and even men on the street, but that doesn’t really represent the reality of these women’s lives, does it? Just because they aren’t strung up as the posterwomen for sexiness doesn’t mean that they’re sex-less.
Jill, this is a really good question. I wonder if anybody is really paying attention to the sex lives of women in their 40s and 50s. I have read that folks are looking at sexual behavior in retirement communities, and the population of available folks in close proximity combined with the availability of erectile drugs produces plenty of intercourse (though this population has been slow to relize they need barrier methods to prevent STI transmission). And everyone obsesses over the sex lives of teens and young adults. There are also all kinds of studies of marital fidelity and marital sex that cover at least the bulk of the hetero population in the thirties and forties.
But there is this invisible period in women’s lives, and I don’t know if there’s much empirical data on what they are doing in those years. What proportion of this population have a stable primary relationship? Are there a lot of unattached women out there, divorced or split from a longtime partner? What are they doing? Are they finding sex partners, and if so where, or are they doing without partnered sex? I just don’t know.
Heidi Fliess better know. If there’s a market for her project, that’s it.
I know a guy who’s worked for an escort service in New York, but he mostly does couples. I don’t think he’d want to sit around a cathouse waiting for customers.
Yeah, that stigma doesn’t seem to be keeping men from employing female prostitutes. This seems like a very superficial dismissal of the oldest profession…
Does this mean that older women don’t get laid? I don’t buy it.
Good plan. Save your money for other things. The word on post-menopausal women is use it or lose it and based on my non-random sample, most of us aren’t planning on losing it.
Well, I don’t often make market-based arguments, but I tink speculating on whether or not it’ll fly is, well, just speculation. I think Linnaeus’s comment rings true, but ultimately it’ll come down to good old supply and demand. If the demand is there, or if she can create it, it might be a license to print money…..
Sadly, I have to agree with Prudence on the advice she gave to the woman being stalked. It’s fucked up, yes. I think it’s awful.
But getting a restraining order will not protect you from stalkers. It just won’t. It creates a paper trail, but it will not put guards at your door. The truly deranged stalker is likely to be enraged by the restraining order and it may be just the thing to kick him over the line into violence. And then what? The guy lives next door, and appears to be mentally disturbed – not to mention he thinks he’s in training as a sniper for the army, and probably figures he’s above the law. He’s going to see this girl every day. He’s not going to just forget about her. He’s not going to get over it.
This girl needs to get away fast. And we need to create a system that can actually restrain these motherfuckers. But by all means encourage this girl to think of her safety first.
I bet if the idea did take off people would finda way to disapprove of it. They find a way to blame women for rape, why wouldn’t they find a way to suddenly rediscover their objections to paid sex—but only of the female-purchased variety?
Ginmar, I agree that we’ll certainly hear all sorts of new opposition if the public is forced to acknowledge that male sexual services are available for purchase by women. Surely, some commentators will acknowledge that some of these men really need the money and would not do it otherwise. Surely some of these folks will point out that sex workers, even those with other options that start out liking it, burn out fast and leave if they can. Surely the same commentators will say that’s true of women as well — but who among them will be willing to do anything about it other than criminalize the women’s conduct? Who is going to propose a solution other than marginalization for sex workers and head-in-the-sand willful blindness?
I do agree with you, but the problem is that Prudence assumes that moving is an option, and she doesn’t give this young woman any other tools with which to deal with this man. If she simply can’t move, then she’s in a total bind, and Prudie didn’t give her anything else to work with. Many people — myself included — would not be able to just pick up and walk away if someone was stalking or harassing us.
Re: advice from Prudence
It would seem to me that this young man is obviously unbalanced, and needs to be reported to the appropriate authorities. He sounds delusional and one step away from being truly, truly dangerous. And if he is a danger to this young woman, he is a danger to the rest of the frickin’ NEIGHBORHOOD!
First, his mother needs to be made aware of this. Note the well socialized girl/woman’s need not to “make trouble”? This young woman doesn’t even want to bring this abberant behaviour to his mother’s attention because it might cause tension. His mother may very well be *relieved* if someone else makes the move and confirms her feeling that there’s just something not right with her eldest boy. If that doesn’t help, or if the mother gets belligerent, she needs to log the incidents and then complaints need to be lodged with the appropriate authorities.
This girl moved back to her *parent’s house*, fer gods’ sake! Where she (apparently) grew up. A place that SHOULD, for most normal families, be a refuge from the craziness that the world can dish out. SHE shouldn’t be compelled to move because the looney next door has a fixation on her! Think about it: even if she moves out and has no contact with *him* on a regular basis, what happens if she visits her parents? What happens to their dogs if this kid ever gets his hands on a real gun and wants to extract revenge for her “leaving” him? What about any other young woman in the area? There is no guarantee that he isn’t doing this same thing to half a dozen other young women, as he obviously has some transportation.
No, I think Pru really fucked up on this one. There is a difference between “harmless wierdo” and “disaster waiting to happen”, and my guts say it’s the latter in this case. And doesn’t the advice go “trust your guts”?
Men in their 40s and 50s tend to pay very close attention to the sex lives of women in their 40s and 50s. Nobody probably studies it because at this point we pretty much have it figured out.^^
Thomas, I bet they’ll do what they don’t do with male sex buying:they’ll criminalize it. It’ll be bad for women to purchase sex because what’s a matter, honey,all a woman has to do is have a pulse? Men have these uncontrollable sex drives, whereas we all know women don’t, so any woman that buys sex must be really ugly or awful-looking or something.
That advice to the girl with the stalker migth as well have been, “Just keep running, little girl, because there’s nothing you can do.” Soneone brought up above the idea that he might be a danger to other people in the neighborhood? How come it’s not enough that he’s a danger to her? How come it’s not enough that he might inconveniance a woman? It’s not that it doesn’t matter, it’s that it’s almost like that’s what’s supposed to happen. What, are women supposed to deflect male violence off of other people? Ordo we just not count as people? *stupid question, I know. And no, I’m not saying that that poster said that, it’s just this attitude that it’s not important unless it happens to a man, a dog, a virgin, or maybe a woman, if the wind is blowing right and it’s a slow news day.
Good point, ginmar. I was just trying to point out that moving might solve HER problem, but won’t solve THE problem. Especially since Pru didn’t seem to address that fact that this kid is a really dangerous situation just waiting to explode. But really, a very good, thought provoking point. Thank you.
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