Comments on: “She Was Asking For It”

By: Official Shrub.com Blog » Blog Archive » Think have achieved equality? Think again.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 02:23:52 +0000

[...] he has had. We live in a rape culture where many people continue to blame the victims of rape and domestic violence. Wives/mothers are still expected to do most [...]

By: David Thompson

David Thompson — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 02:23:46 +0000

Some teacher you are. You’re just an English pointer.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 02:19:16 +0000

Hell, you’re an English teacher; you should have suggested a half-dozen possiblities already.

I’m a facilitator, not a hand-it-to-you-er.

Thesaurus be damned.

By: David Thompson

David Thompson — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 02:14:10 +0000

David, is “sexual security” anything like “social security”?

No. If it were, the government would provide free prostitutes for the elderly and disabled. Security isn't best word, but it brings in fewer extraneous connotations than integrity, autonomy, or preservation. Sadly, I don't have a thesaurus on hand to find the best word. Hell, you're an English teacher; you should have suggested a half-dozen possiblities already.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 01:37:38 +0000

David, is "sexual security" anything like "social security"? Is the government trying to shut down "sexual security" anytime soon? Oh, yes.

By: David Thompson

David Thompson — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 23:04:37 +0000

This gave me something to think about. My choices are to avoid men and dating altogether, behave like a 16-year-old and only go on dates where things are highly structured to avoid being alone with a guy, or do what I like knowing full well if I were to get raped, there's not likely to be any kind of justice for me. I tend to play the odds and go with number 3--act like I'm a free adult in a society that disagrees with me and will look away if I'm "punished" for it--and the theory that life is short and risks have to be taken if you want to live it. My mistake was in presuming that Nick Kiddle (and Amanda) had a compelling interest in their sexual security, when it turns out that interest is trumped by their interest in sexual adventurism. I still consider that an exceptionally poor trade, but whatever. It's not my genitals they're playing roulette with, so it's not my problem.

By: KnifeGhost

KnifeGhost — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 06:46:05 +0000

Yeah, we tried that a few times earlier, but he didn’t seem to get it.

By: Sheelzebub

Sheelzebub — Sun, 20 Nov 2005 22:20:10 +0000

WRT to the assertion that men get raped in prison--here's a newsflash: WOMEN IN PRISON GET RAPED TOO.

By: KnifeGhost

KnifeGhost — Sat, 19 Nov 2005 19:46:44 +0000

Yes, precisely. No means no, but it doesn’t necessarily mean “no, get your clothes on and leave”. It can mean “No, check back in ten minutes”, “no, maybe after 3 more dates”, “no, never” or any number of nos. But it means NO when it’s said.

By: Donna

Donna — Sat, 19 Nov 2005 16:24:49 +0000

If I am insufficiently aroused for any reason then penetration is not going to provide maximum pleasure. At best. At worst, penetration might be painful or even injurious. And scary. For my pleasure, comfort and safety and to prevent injury to MY body (you idiots) I, a woman, need to be in control of the pace at which things go. Maybe, if things go well, I might be willing to keep going. But my “no” means “no”. If you, who are supposedly so knowledgeable and worldly, have not created a climate in which I can be specific, then you cannot possibly assume you know if that “no” means “Not for about ten more minutes of this or I need more of that”. Or, “No. Not tonight,” Or “No, not with you ever.’ You can only know that my “no” means you cannot proceed or that you have to stop. You can ask for–not require–clarification. (Since only one of us can kill the other with bare hands don’t imagine that this is a safe point for me to piss you off with the third option.) If things go well and my “No” turns out to have been “No, not for about ten more minutes of your biggest chore’, and we have penetration and I like it and it’s successful, don’t show me how stupid you are by smugly saying afterward that, “Oh you women! You say “no” when you really mean “yes”. You idiots! My “no” did mean exactly “NO!”