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Two Things

By Lauren on 12.14.2005

1. I’ve added some reading material to my Amazon wishlist that a well-meaning conservative could send along to my broke ass with a clear conscience.

2. How many times can you hurl before your guts stream out of your nostrils?

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Author: Lauren has written 1251 posts for this blog.

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18 Responses

  1. 1
    Donald Drennon 12.14.2005 at 11:40 am |

    …how about a vomit-euphemism contest? I submit “Technicolor yawn”….

  2. 2
    Hubris 12.14.2005 at 11:44 am |

    I dunno, Odd Ball Knitting : Creative Ideas for Leftover Yarn smacks of Marxism as far as I’m concerned.

  3. 3
    Thomas 12.14.2005 at 11:50 am |

    A friend of mine just went through a bout of food-poisoning that left him hospitalized. I can assure you that you’ll break all the blood vessels in your eyes and look like a raccoon with conjunctivitis long before you damage your internal organs. Cold comfort, I’m sure. Get well.

  4. 4
    Lauren 12.14.2005 at 12:11 pm |

    Hubris, I was talking about the books critical of feminism that I’d read if I could afford them. Ass.

  5. 5
    Lux Fiat 12.14.2005 at 12:11 pm |

    2. How many times can you hurl before your guts stream out of your nostrils?

    A lot.

    You have my sympathy. Last time I had the gut-vise stomach flu, at least my roommate had it as well. We spent a lot of time lying in the living room, doing like a call-and-response litany of pathetic groans. It was kind of comforting.

  6. 6
    hank 12.14.2005 at 1:22 pm |

    vomit-euphemism contest…

    The other day I said “chumming the waters” to my son’s teacher in explanation of why he’d been absent.

  7. 7
    Starla 12.14.2005 at 2:16 pm |

    Ugh…

    I think I’ve been real close to having my stomach eject through my nose.

    I’ve had better experiences. I hope you get well soon.

  8. 8
    Hugo 12.14.2005 at 2:45 pm |

    I’ve been there, Lauren; feel better soon!

    I’ve been hospitalized far too many times for dehydration after throwing up too much. Saline IVs are my best friend, along with some compazine for nausea.

  9. 9
    Heliologue 12.14.2005 at 3:57 pm |

    That’s odd: It usually comes out when nose whenever I hurl. Or at least it did: I haven’t hurled in a while.

  10. 10
    Marian 12.14.2005 at 4:16 pm |

    The last couple of times I puked I was drunk, not sick. Nothing from the nose, but the act of puking gives me this horrible rash on my face that lasts for days (probably from broken capillaries). I’m very fair-skinned, so it’s obvious, and makeup doesn’t do the job. I hate puking though, which is why I keep the alcohol within limits.

  11. 11
    Donald Drennon 12.14.2005 at 5:20 pm |

    My goodness, lookit how the level of discourse has sunken to new lows.

    Seriously: get well soon.

    DD

    ps: “Reviewing the lunch menu”.

  12. 12
    Kevin 12.14.2005 at 6:21 pm |

    That sort of puke fest is the closest I’ve come to thinking I was going to die. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened to me since I was in high school. None of the alcohol-related shenanigans of college came close to the good ‘ol stomach flu. I remember puking 10 times in less than 5 hours. I pulled muscles in my abdomen. I asked family members to please kill me. But luckily, the next day it was all over, and I just slept for about three days straight after that.

    That’s probably not comforting. But there’s nothing that will actually comfort you if you’re going through that. In fact, whatever you’re doing in between pukes will become strangely creepy activities for a few weeks after such an experience. I remember that certain tv shows that I was watching during those 5 hours become, well, vomit-tinged for weeks after that, and I couldn’t watch them.

  13. 13
    Ann 12.14.2005 at 9:28 pm |

    “Unswallowing”

    And I think it really depends on the violence of the act rather than the frequency. I could swear that I once projectile vomited my spleen on a seafood induced unswallowing in Monterey. On my first anniversary, no less. Good test of marriage though!

    My sympathies. I really hate vomiting and have been known to talk myself out of it, somewhat unsuccessfully. Hope you feel better soon!

  14. 14
    zuzu 12.14.2005 at 9:43 pm |

    My dad developed an ulcer from seasickness in the Navy. He spent a lot of time at the stern.

  15. 15
    Harrison 12.14.2005 at 11:05 pm |

    Good grief! Are you still sick from the infection you had earlier, or is this something else? Either way, what does your doctor say? I hope it’s not the ever-helpful, “Well, there’s something going around.” Gee, thanks, doctor! You went through four years of med school to learn that, huh?

    I do hope you feel much better, and very soon! Please take care of yourself. Tell your boyfriend he needs to make you some chicken soup (or he should recruit someone who does cook, if he doesn’t)!

  16. 16
    Jeff G 12.15.2005 at 12:47 am |

    CHS canon on its way. Deck the halls and all that garbage…

  17. 17
    Slartibartfast 12.15.2005 at 1:35 pm |

    Playing the porcelain tuba? Got a bad case of the technicolor yawns?

    Hope you get better soon.

  18. 18
    David Thompson 12.16.2005 at 8:03 am |

    Vomit euphemisms? Here you go:

    The rain came down in torrents, the wind increased to a stiff breeze and some of the juniors, not accustomed to be rocked in the cradle of the deep, were forced to “Cast their bread upon the waters.”

    Isn’t five pages of crap on Amazon just a wee bit greedy?

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