La Lubu, I have never claimed that I am not a Christian. I have said that I am a Catholic (true) and I have said that I am not a very good Christian (also true).

Robert has a split-personality on religion too; on some blogs he’s “Catholic” and on others he says he’s not Christian. Go figure!

Bottom line:

Single-parent families have higher levels of dysfunction than two-parent families.

Single-parent families use higher levels of social services than two-parent families.

There is little to no credible dispute on these points. What disputes do exist center around peripheral issues.

You may believe whatever gets you through the day, but single parent families are not functionally equivalent to two-parent families in terms of outcomes and in terms of the social inputs required to get those outcomes.

Now, you may say that you’re talking about single-parent families rather than about young mothers. But Lauren is a single parent, as you must know, as a regular reader of this blog. So I suspect that you held her up as a model not because you think the best plan for women is to get pregnant while in high school, but because you savor the opportunity to play one woman here off of other ones.

Cite one.

At some point, you just get the impression that Robert enjoys wagging his finger at women. I suppose that everyone needs a hobby.

THank you AGAIN !!!

Kathy McCarty

I see modern worksite daycares as a return in many ways to the old concept of mothers working and parenting at the same time.

And come on, aren’t we all glad – men and women – that we no longer live in a world where we have to stick to our proscribed roles because life is “nasty, brutish, and short”?

I believe what Zuzu means is that, while you might plan to have your reproductive life in your 20′s, real-life circumstances often add up to not being able to reproduce according to plan. Having children in your 20′s means that you either find an appropriate mate, or you find someone to provide the sperm even if they don’t stick around (which leads to single-mom stigma & other complications which tend to interfere with that planned on career in your 30′s), or you can adopt (I haven’t tried, but I think that’s harder to do for single people, depending on their circumstances) – and you might have to adopt anyway, if you or your mate aren’t able to reproduce naturally, and finally you can go to a sperm bank (back to the single-mom stuff).

But let’s say the reproductive part of the plan has been successfully achied. Then you attempt to start a career in your 30′s. I’m sure you’re aware of the many stories of women who have attempted to do so after becoming divorced or widowed – surely you’ve heard about how hard it is to start fresh at least 10 years after leaving formal education, competing with young people fresh out of college for internships and minimal experience positions. The brain may not have a shelf-life, but one’s education surely does (I work with computers, and I am reminded at every turn how critical it is to continually aquire new skills and upgrade the ones you have). There’s also the added handicap of needing the income to support your children. Come to think of it, that would be a major issue in your 20′s, when you’re having them in the first place (cost associated with pre-natal care, childbirth, doctor’s visits, general upbringing).

This is why many women have chosen to get their careers established first, then have children when at least they a household ready and can get healthcare benefits – I’m sure one can always find anecdotal evidence about the occasional woman who has children first, then succeeds in her career, but it’s my experience that the majority who choose to have children first have some tough choices and a lot of juggling to do.

That said, I’m happy to provide the real-life story of my sister, who did have her first 2 children in her 20′s, and also is successful in her career. However, it took a LOT of work – her husband didn’t have steady work (yes, he was trying his best), and she’d dropped out of high school before graduating. But when her first child was born with asthma, she took it as a mandate, got her GED, put herself through a 4-year program at our community college (while maintaining a home, raising 2 small children, and working part-time) & became a repiratory therapist. NOTE that she did not have the option of waiting to start her career at a more convenient time, because as I’m sure you’re aware, it takes money to have kids.