Aloha Means Goodbye

So, those big things ahead. Promise not to hate me too much.

After almost exactly six years as a blogger, about three of them at this domain, I believe it’s time for me to bow out. My dedication to my writing here has waned and I am tired of the oddly daunting responsibility of owning a website that runs significant traffic with my name attached. Running this blog takes far more time and dedication than I’d like to admit, and it’s time and dedication I can no longer afford to expend now that I am out of college. This is a decision I made some time ago and grappled with up until I hit publish on this post.

Hosting the Carnival of the Feminists was my love letter to all of you that take the time to speak out and stand up and be brave and put yourself on the line for a public audience. Yes blogging is fun, but it is also difficult. It is difficult to get criticized and attacked and get up and chance more. Even when we don’t use our real names or hang onto some sort of pseudonymity we put ourselves out there in ways that are emotionally risky. If you’re good at this, you are personally invested in it. Responses from those who enjoy your writing and challenge your assumptions are an intrinsic reward, and those who lurk around waiting for you to fuck up, well, we have names for those kinds of people. Kudos to all of you who assert your Selves regardless.

I’m certain you’ll be as pleased as I am to welcome on two new bloggers that Jill and I have recruited to take my place. Though you’ll definitely recognize their names if you hang around in the comments here and at other feminist blogs, neither of them have been committed bloggers before now.

Thank you, Jill, for joining me last year and (kicking my ass at this blogging business) agreeing to take over this little community. Thank you Mystery Bloggers #1 and #2 for taking on this challenge. Thank you, Ms. Marcotte, who helped me write a gazillion posts on this blog. Thank you, Roxanne, who encouraged me to get with the designing thing already. Thank you, Samantha, for validating my blogging obsession (and my knitting obsession) and making me realize this isn’t just some dumb thing that people do. Thank you, everyone who guestblogged here when I was still solo and needed a break. Thank you to everyone who supported me on this site, who sent me and Ethan all the wonderful books and gifts, who donated to the Feed Lauren and Ethan Fund this winter, who commented here every day or never at all, who linked my posts even when I thought my writing was crap, who stick around and debate one another, who have brightened my day with a laugh, and to all of you who continue to do what you do on your own digital playgrounds. Thank you for fact-checking my lazy ass and making me a better writer and a more concise thinker. Thank you most of all for being my emotional godsend — it ain’t easy to be an feminist today, especially if you live in small town Indiana. Whenever I felt unstimulated, frustrated, and irritated, I turned here.

The question now is whether or not I can actually leave my baby, my blog, behind. I’ve nurtured this thing from obscurity to what it is today by spending countless hours reading, writing, editing, designing, fighting, mulling, brooding, obsessing, and neglecting my household duties. You have no idea how hard it will be for me, something excrutiating to admit, but it’s time, in part because this obsessive habit has begun to impede on my real world responsibilities.

Thank you again.

I’ll be around.

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179 comments for “Aloha Means Goodbye

  1. January 21, 2006 at 12:11 am

    But aloha also means hello. And between the lines of hello and goodby, I won’t be the last to say there is a lot of love for you here. And there, wherever that may be. And everywhere you find future success.

  2. January 21, 2006 at 12:19 am

    I’ve only been reading here for a few months, but this forum without your voice will certainly be a changed place.

    And congratulations on finding your voice — I’m sure we will be reading more from you — when your book comes out let us all know.


  3. January 21, 2006 at 12:26 am

    Take care of yourself – we’ll miss you!

  4. tas
    January 21, 2006 at 12:31 am

    And thank you, Lauren, for the magnificent job you have done. You’ll be missed, but if you ever feel the need to return, then I’m sure the blogosphere will still be around, with arms extended.

  5. January 21, 2006 at 12:39 am

    Thank you. You know we love you, in our way.

  6. January 21, 2006 at 12:42 am

    Take care. You were one of my first favorite sites… I inspire to write a tenth as well as you do seemingly effortlessly.

    You will be greatly missed. Take care of you and your family and friends.

    You will still show up at the Indiana blogger conference that shall be held someday, right?

    Cya on the flipside…

  7. January 21, 2006 at 12:44 am

    Man, that sucks. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

  8. Annie
    January 21, 2006 at 12:47 am

    I wish I had come out of lurkdom more often and gotten to know you better. I’m sad that you’re not going to be around for me to (attmempt to) do that now….but I think you kick all kinds of ass, Lauren. Thanks for giving me Grown-Up, Important Things to think about.

  9. January 21, 2006 at 12:48 am

    I understand, but I hope you know that you’ll be missed.

  10. January 21, 2006 at 1:36 am

    Thanks for your great effort.

  11. January 21, 2006 at 1:57 am

    Wow, I’ve only been reading this for a few weeks, but it has become one of my “must reads’ every single day. I’ll miss your writing.

    Good luck!


  12. Lux Fiat
    January 21, 2006 at 2:03 am

    This (selfishly) makes me sad. But I understand. Off the top of my head, I’d have to say it’s been you, Amanda, the Neilsen Haydens, and Jeanne D’Arc who are the most salient among blog-authors I read for reminding me that one can be a great person simply through a commitment to being a good person.

    There are a thousand people you’ll never know who are better because they read something you wrote. Not bad, as legacies go.

  13. January 21, 2006 at 2:14 am

    I’ll miss you, Lauren. I’m glad Jill will continue Feministe. It’s always one of my must-reads.

  14. January 21, 2006 at 2:16 am

    I don’t feel selfish to feel sad.

    My sadness at your leaving should be a sign of how well you did your chosen avocation. And is why I am so confident in you as you move into your chosen vocation.

  15. January 21, 2006 at 2:19 am

    Good for you, Lauren!

  16. Don Drennon
    January 21, 2006 at 2:29 am

    Thank you for everything.

    All the best.



  17. January 21, 2006 at 2:31 am

    Believe it or not, there’s a line from Stripes that fits perfectly here: “You can’t leave! All the plants will die!”

    Thankfully, you aren’t really leaving. You’re simply beginning your minimalist phase.

    Happy to call you my pal, Lauren.

  18. Sarah
    January 21, 2006 at 2:42 am

    Sniffle, I will miss one of the few voices of sanity here in West Lafayette.

  19. randomliberal/Robert
    January 21, 2006 at 2:42 am

    Goodbye to you. You were the first of my regular feminist reads, and you helped me define my views on feminism. I had had no exposure to feminism prior to last year (other than my step-mom, whom I adore), so you–and later Amanda and Jill–have been my teacher, and I am grateful for that.

    I also thank you for allowing me to be one of the guest-bloggers last summer. I enjoyed the time I spent here. You will be missed.

    Jill, I don’t think there is a more worthy person to take over the reins here. I look forward to reading you and the mystery bloggers and continuing my learning and interaction.

  20. January 21, 2006 at 2:44 am

    Beginnings. Endings. They’re intertwined.

    Catch ya on the flipside.

    And lots of love.

  21. January 21, 2006 at 3:00 am

    I’m pretty new to this site, but I love the place. Lauren, thanks for all you’ve done with Feministe. I’m sure you’ve left the site in good hands, and I’m also sure (or at least I hope) you won’t be a stranger to the blogging community–but I’m going to miss reading your blog entries every day. Via con Diosa!

  22. January 21, 2006 at 3:05 am

    Gosh, Lauren, I feel so sad. I admire so much what you’ve done here, creating and growing Feministe. I wish you all the best.

  23. January 21, 2006 at 3:11 am

    Thank you. As you go, please know that you’ve done a lot for a lot of people. Enjoy…

  24. January 21, 2006 at 3:30 am

    Well, shit. I just came across you guys about a month ago, and now I’ll have to depluralize that pronoun. Best of luck in all your endeavors.

  25. karpad
    January 21, 2006 at 3:38 am

    from whence will we receive our memes now? FRT was your baby! even if you didn’t invent it, I’d never fucking heard of it. all that “7 things” and “4 things” and all those things.

    I’m going to be polite, respect your wishes to call it quits, and not hex you until the compulsion to post returns. but I will certainly not cry any bitter tears if someone else were to do so. I’ve always been Liberal, it’s how I was brought up (my grandad made a nearly successful effort to convince my parents to name me “Noam.”). but the political discussion here, at ‘gon, and a couple other places really honed a good rational edge to my position. I’m not liberal because I am anymore. I’m Liberal because it’s the only right decision. Thanks. alot. and Jill’s a damn strong player for the starting lineup. Can’t think of anyone better to fill the role of “Boss of The ‘Niste.”

    I’m gonna go somewhere and make fun of someone. all this sincerity makes me feel defenseless. but that’s a psychological problem for another day.

    Good luck out there, Boss.

  26. January 21, 2006 at 3:55 am

    Well, gosh-darn it.

    I’m really gonna miss your blogging.

    I mean, really miss it. Thanks for that. I think my blog is pretty good, but you regularly kicked “Alas”‘s pale male ass all over the damn court. (Not that Jill won’t do the same, but…)

    As the pointy-eared dorks say, live long and prosper.

  27. Marc Mielke
    January 21, 2006 at 4:24 am

    Aloha from Maui! I enjoy your writing and reading from a feminine perspective. You will be missed.

  28. Marksman2000
    January 21, 2006 at 4:42 am

    Best of luck on all your future endeavors, Lauren.

    –The Marksman

  29. January 21, 2006 at 5:00 am

    We’re going to miss your view and your vigour. I’m certain in your future having added your voice to the great debate called Life will serve you well. Good luck and we’ll look forward to hearing from you down the road.

  30. January 21, 2006 at 5:22 am

    Good Luck, Lauren. If you ever feel a burning desire to post something, my blogs are at your disposal. Be well, and make sure you visit now and then. Peace.

  31. Søren Kongstad
    January 21, 2006 at 5:22 am

    Thank you for work Lauren.

    Your site has, amongst others, helped me be aware of the many conflicts that still exists about the sexes, and to relly appreciate that feminism is not about Womens Rights, but about all humans.

    Your site has been one of the reasons I now often find myself in debates defending women who have had multiple abortions (against the ones who say stuff like – >One abortion is OK, but more than one just means she’s an irresponsible slut

  32. January 21, 2006 at 6:04 am

    :-( Thanks for all of your leadership in the bloggosphere. You’ll be greatly missed. Feministe is always one of my daily reads. Good luck!

  33. AndiF
    January 21, 2006 at 7:19 am

    You will be greatly for your insightful writing, your intelligence, your humor, and of course, your cats.

    Good luck in whatever lies ahead.

  34. Pam
    January 21, 2006 at 7:29 am

    Thanks for the richness that you have given the blogosphere, and good luck in reclaiming the space in your life, filling it with new adventures that will provide material that will spur you to check in and share gems with readers from time to time.

  35. January 21, 2006 at 7:37 am

    Unlike some others, I’m not sad at all. I’m very happy for you, Lauren. You’ve contributed some wonderful posts to the blogosphere, you’ve utterly enriched the online feminist community, and I’m glad so many of us have gotten to know you through your terrific writing. I wish you all the best of luck in everything you do from now on. Rejoice in your newfound non-bloggy freedom and well-deserved rest! Moving Feministe to my “Group Blogs” section now, awaiting the two Mystery Bloggers to join Jill…

  36. January 21, 2006 at 7:51 am

    Goodbye, Lauren. But not really; I’m sure we’ll all hear from you in one of your next incarnations.

    Best of luck.

  37. Ron O
    January 21, 2006 at 8:13 am

    I’ll miss you too. It feels like a neighborhood friend is moving far away. I first started lurcking about two years ago and I’m much beter off for it. Wishing you all the happines, fame and fortune you can handle.

    Smell you later.

  38. big b
    January 21, 2006 at 8:48 am

    Fo me, “Feministe” will always be synonomous with :”Lauren”.

    Sad to see you let it go but I know you will show up somewhere else in the land of print: editorial pages, a future book or–ta da! another blog!

  39. January 21, 2006 at 8:49 am

    Goodbye Lauren. Thank you for running such a great blog. Your writing’s always been so intelligent and enlightening. Good luck out there.

    I’m getting kind of sniffly now. Over a blogger I’ve never even emailed! God damn, I’m going to miss you.

  40. January 21, 2006 at 8:50 am

    Lauren, will miss you! I read this site every day (am a lurker though so rarely comment) and have enjoyed your posts enormously. Even when i don’t agree with you at all I like to read. Very very thought provoking. I’ve learnt an awful lot from ths site, I really have. Even when I’m rejecting what you say!
    Agree with what you said about being criticised. My blog’s not big enough to get criticised as much as you might, but all the same when i do I hate it.
    Good luck!

  41. January 21, 2006 at 8:55 am

    Bye, Lauren. Good luck!

  42. January 21, 2006 at 9:35 am

    You’ve been an inspiration to me, and as many others here I’ve often wished I could write so well. Good luck and happiness to you, Lauren. You’ll be missed here.

  43. January 21, 2006 at 9:44 am

    Blogging is rewarding, but it can definitely take a toll if you stick your neck out and if you care about the quality of the result. Lauren, of course we will miss your posts, but you shouldn’t regret changing course if it’s what makes you happy right now. Best of luck to you, and to Jill and the new co-bloggers, carrying on an impressive tradition.

  44. Winnie
    January 21, 2006 at 9:55 am

    Dear Lauren

    You have been one of my favorite bloggers out there, and I will sorely miss you, Ethan, Pablo, and Doug. I wish all the best of luck to you and your little family and even if you do not maintain this blog you might every now and then keep us posted on how all of you are doing. I only hope that Jill can find a worthy person to help contribute as well. Congratualations to you as well for 6 good years.


  45. poulod
    January 21, 2006 at 10:12 am

    Good luck with everything–I also only discovered this a few months ago, but it seems like you a had a good run.

  46. January 21, 2006 at 10:31 am

    Homegirl, for once, forget you got class, see a job you like, just grab it in the biscuit! I tried doing my part to alleviate your real-world duties with that fancy cat-waterer, but, alas, it was like farting into a hurricane.

    Keep in touch!

  47. aeonsomnia
    January 21, 2006 at 10:34 am

    Thanks for the memories and for all your insightful commentary. I hope everything works out for you and for Ethan, too :)

    (And I’m hoping that you’ll come back to blogging someday :)

  48. another lynne
    January 21, 2006 at 10:47 am

    Be well, be happy.

    I am grateful to have had the opportunity to read your well chosen words.

    Change is hard, and scary, for all of us. I know that we will all miss you.

    I wish you luck, love and an interesting journey

  49. Sally
    January 21, 2006 at 10:47 am

    The selfish part of me is sad to see you go, but the bigger part of me thinks that this is just a necessary step in the master plan for Laurenish world domination. Drop in every once in a while and let us know how it’s going. In ten years, I hope that you will have taken over and changed the national anthem to something far funkier.

    I’m really curious to see who the new bloggers are. It can’t be Robert: he has his own blog!

  50. January 21, 2006 at 10:48 am

    goodbye, Lauren, we’ll miss you. Hope you keep us updated when you get a fabulous new job. Jill will keep the kick-ass tradition alive here, but I, for one, will miss the voice of another radical mama– best of luck in your new chapter.

  51. January 21, 2006 at 11:00 am

    When I read this, I actually yelled out loud “Nooooooooooooooooooo!” You’re one of my favorites. Good luck with your new phase in life! You will definitely be missed.

  52. Jon C.
    January 21, 2006 at 11:11 am

    As an ex-blogger myself, I understand where you’re at. Best of luck, Lauren.

  53. Ratan
    January 21, 2006 at 11:34 am

    Like most others, it’s true I’m unhappy about this. But I totally understand why you want to quit (obviously, I quit months ago, so I’ve been there). Shame to see you go, but I feel we’ll be hearing from you soon. You have taught me quite a lot over the years, so don’t be a stranger.

  54. January 21, 2006 at 11:39 am

    just wanted to throw my own little “thanks, and good luck” into the ring. you’ve run a great site, and i look forward to whats ahead for it via jill and the newcomers.

    thanks for everything!

  55. Thomas
    January 21, 2006 at 11:53 am

    Lauren, your voice is unique and can never be fully replaced. However talented the new occupants are, the place will not be the same without you and I will miss your posts. I’ll see you in the comment threads.

  56. January 21, 2006 at 11:55 am

    Thank you so much for this blog and have a great time away from it.

  57. January 21, 2006 at 11:58 am

    A truly sad day for us. Best of luck! :)

  58. January 21, 2006 at 12:02 pm

    I don’t comment here, mostly I just lurk. But I’ve been reading you for about a year now and I’ve loved every post. You’ll be missed! Thanks for all the time and effort you’ve put into this.

  59. January 21, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    You were one of the first blogs I started reading a year and a half ago, and I always considered one of my must-reads. I will miss you and your talented writing. So long and good luck.

  60. Bomboniera
    January 21, 2006 at 12:18 pm

    You’ll be missed, and I hope you’ll visit from time to time. Take care of yourself. Good luck.

  61. January 21, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    I never liked goodbye.

    Partings are much easier when you realize that the conversation isn’t truly “over” until someone has passed away, and that’s only if they left nothing of their thoughts and feelings behind to learn from – and you have, and will continue to do exactly that (in one way or another), in spades.

    No presumptions, justifications, or “closure.” No expectations of when, where or how (or even if) we’ll run into each other. No plans, grief, or remorse. After all, you’re not putting aside the wonderful mind that creates all this thought.

    We’re all doing what we gotta do (and that’s a Good Thing). ^.^

    Until later,
    Master of Parenthetical Inserts

  62. Tapetum
    January 21, 2006 at 12:25 pm

    Nothing new to say, just that I have enjoyed your writing, and I will miss your perspective. Best of luck. (And let us know about those designs!)

  63. January 21, 2006 at 12:35 pm

    I’m going to miss you, Lauren, but we can always keep in touch via e-mail. Yours was one of the first feminist blogs I found (Amp was actually the first, and I’ve known him on Usenet for years, so it wasn’t so much discovery as re-discovery). I”m glad your vocation has taken off. I always knew it would.

    I hope you do write a post or two in the future to update us on how you’re doing. Best wishes to you.

  64. Kristjan Wager
    January 21, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    I am sad to see you leave blogging, but I can see why you would choose to do so. If you decide to return, know that you will be welcomed with open arms. Hopefully, you will still continue to comment once in a while.

    Good luck with the future.

  65. January 21, 2006 at 12:57 pm

    Sad. Saaaaaaaaaad. You’ve always been one of my inspirations in the blogosphere. But I sure understand how blogging can suck up time better spent in other endeavors. Best of luck and I hope you can pop back and keep us in touch with how you and Ethan are doing!

  66. Caja
    January 21, 2006 at 1:00 pm

    Ack! Wow. I’ve rarely commented, though I’ve been reading for at least a year or two; I’ll miss hearing from you – this has become one of my must-read-daily sites, and a great source of feminist-related news and ranting. (And yes, I will keep reading – I like Jill’s contributions, too, and while I have no idea who the new bloggers are, I’ve also long been impressed by the comments section in general, so I do not think I will be disappointed by the new folks.)

    I wish you the best of luck – you certainly deserve it!

  67. January 21, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    Feministe is the first blog that I ever read religiously, and has become part of my daily routine. You’re an extremely gifted writer, and have such a strong voice on this blog! You will be missed, best of luck.

  68. January 21, 2006 at 1:25 pm

    Oh, shit on a stick. I knew I should have slept in later this morning.

    I have so enjoyed your unique and amazing voice. Thank you for that, and I wish you the best of luck.

  69. anashi
    January 21, 2006 at 1:31 pm

    Good Luck. :)

  70. fab
    January 21, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    I rarely have commented, but I always read what you and Jill have to say, but like Jackie stated your radical mama voice will be missed, best of luck in your next endeavors.

    You will be missed!

  71. JenM
    January 21, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    Good luck Lauren! Please send updates as often as you can about you and Ethan!

  72. January 21, 2006 at 1:38 pm

    I wish I had time to read all the blogs I want to read. While I haven’t been a diehard regular here, I have enjoyed your blog when I’ve had the time to read it. Best of luck!

  73. January 21, 2006 at 1:49 pm

    Lauren, you are an inspirational voice, and I’ll miss you.

  74. January 21, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    I must be in the denial stage of grief, because I don’t know what any of these people are talking about.

  75. January 21, 2006 at 2:11 pm

    Damn it!

  76. January 21, 2006 at 2:19 pm


    Take care, chook.

  77. Kyra
    January 21, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Thank you, farewell, good luck, and can you PLEEEEASE send one of the other bloggers some cat pics from time to time so they can post it? I will miss you but I think I will miss Pablo even more (no offense to you or Doug; Pablo looks very similar to my cousins’ former cat Ralph, whom I loved a great deal.)

    Wonderful writing. I’ll miss that too.

  78. Bill
    January 21, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Lauren, I’m a 22 year old male. I’ve lurked for the longest time. You were probably the first feminist blog that I came across. Until then, I knew next to nothing about feminism, let alone actual feminists. I was blown away by your blog. For the past year or so I’ve been reading feminist blogs daily because your site got me interested. As a result, I’ve changed the way I think on so many issues. I’ve grown in so many ways and I feel like a much better person. I would have to write an essay to explain. I just want you to know that I’m sure there are other lurkers like me, who have benefitted enormously from things you have written, who have “converted” (hate the religious connotation, but you get what I mean) to feminism, but never wrote in to tell you how much we appreciate it. I wish you the best of luck!

  79. Bertson
    January 21, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    I just wanted to echo what Bill said. As a 23 year old male, your writing here was quite influential in getting me accustomed to feminist thought, and eventually embracing it. Thank you very much for that. I certainly hope that Jill and whoever the two new people are can keep up that great mix of the informative and the idiosyncratic and personal that’s always separated this site from most of the other blogs I read. Thanks again.

  80. Bill
    January 21, 2006 at 2:54 pm

    Addendum: Lauren, I also wanted to say that, feminism aside, you rock. Your taste in music, sense of humor, and all the rest, are all top notch.

  81. January 21, 2006 at 2:58 pm

    Lauren, I will miss your writing so much but have no doubt that wherever you’re taking your cleverness, wit, snark, and coolness will be all the richer for having more of your time and attention.

  82. January 21, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    and a thank u, as well from myself…

    all the best to u lauren in your endeavors, make good (for u) use of all the added free time u will now enjoy!

  83. January 21, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    I’ll miss your writing, but hope to see you around– as a commenter if nothing else.

  84. nerdlet
    January 21, 2006 at 3:36 pm

    I post rarely but have read daily for years. You’re awesome. Good luck.

  85. January 21, 2006 at 3:39 pm

    I’ll miss reading you. Keep in touch by email, and you and Ethan are sure welcome to visit if you ever make it out to southern California.

  86. January 21, 2006 at 3:41 pm

    My heart totally fell when I read this post!

    But I totally understand and I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being such a powerful and inspirational voice. You have no idea how many people your words have affected and I’m extremely grateful to have found your blog. Good luck with all your future endeavors and keep kicking ass. You will be missed!

  87. January 21, 2006 at 3:42 pm

    I’m saddened that your unique voice won’t be on the front page to greet all of your readers. Perhaps, freed of the burden to pump out posts on a regular basis we’ll see you travelling the blogosphere as a regular commenter.

    I should also add that I love your site design and your skills on that front are top notch too.

  88. Harrison
    January 21, 2006 at 3:46 pm

    All good things to you and Ethan. I certainly understand how this thing can try to take over your life. I’m sad to see you go but glad Jill will be taking over. Thank you for your wit and wisdom, and your unique voice. Like all the rest, I do hope you drop by to comment from time to time at least. Whatever you do, please don’t stop writing–perhaps you might consider fiction, or some nonfiction articles, or maybe a journal–you have a great talent, and we are richer for having read your writings.

  89. Sina
    January 21, 2006 at 3:47 pm

    Aw, crap, Lauren. I’ll miss you a lot, too. Yours was probably one of the first blogs I ever read, period, and I never left. Your writing here represents some of the best in feminist work: it was always unapologetic, insightful, thoughtful, challenging, witty, and grounded by a great fair-mindedness, an inability to tell people what to do and what to think, and a willingness to engage almost everything that I like to think as a Midwestern sensibility, and particularly of the Hoosier variety, a kind close to my heart. You even let me blog about cheap Midwestern beer that one time. That was awesome.

    Thanks a ton lady and be well. This place won’t be the same without yr radical-mama, knitgrrrl, rockabilly self. But you’ve done a lot of great things around here, and I’m sure the next things won’t be any different.

  90. January 21, 2006 at 3:52 pm

    Just wanted to publically add my well-wishes to the farewell flood :) Thank *you* for showing me how much fun this all can be, and for tossing me a link or two over the (*sigh*) years. I wouldn’t still be trying to pull my craphole up out of the muck without that inspiration!

    Keep in touch (of course!) and best of luck!

  91. doc martens
    January 21, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    did i ever tell you you’re are MY hero

  92. doc martens
    January 21, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    you’re MY hero

  93. Noel
    January 21, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    It’s been a pleasure reading your writing these past few months. I only posted once or twice, but I checked your site daily, sometimes more. I’ll probably email you soon, be warned.

  94. jenofiniquity
    January 21, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    I’ve mostly lurked, but you’ve been one of my daily must-reads for oh, a long time now. I’m sorry you’re leaving, but glad that Feministe will live on with new voices. Be well.

  95. January 21, 2006 at 4:38 pm

    Rock on with your bad self! =)

    I’m going to sorely miss your writing — you have definitely been an inspiration.

  96. jfxgillis
    January 21, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    God damn it.

    None of this well-wishing crap from me.

    Lauren: You are the the Best Damn Feminist Writer on the Web, Period.

    Sharp polemics informed by an elegant inimitable style, it hurts me not to read you anymore. And if I’m hurting, why should I grimace through my teeth to say I’m glad you’re going away?

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  98. January 21, 2006 at 5:50 pm

    Be happy that you’ve inspired so many other feminist bloggers. You’ll leave a hole, but you’ve done your bit and you deserve a break.

  99. January 21, 2006 at 5:52 pm

    Here’s to your return to the blogosphere some day. I shall truly miss you. Good luck!

  100. January 21, 2006 at 5:58 pm

    it’s already been said far better, but thank you, Lauren–you will be missed!

  101. Barbara Brugger
    January 21, 2006 at 6:03 pm

    Aloha, Lauren.

    Aloha means many things, the Hawaiian language is prone to layering of meaning. And so aloha means hello, and goodby and love. It is often translated as ‘in the breath of the divine’.

    A teaching tool for living in aloha was often used:
    A, ala – watchful, alertness; L, lokahi, working with unity; O, oia’i’o, truthful honesty; H, ha’aha’a, humility and A, ahonui, patient perseverance.

    Go in the aloha spirit, and mahalo for all you’ve given us.

  102. January 21, 2006 at 6:13 pm

    I have a feeling you’ll be back….if only sporadically.

    Thank you so much, and good luck!

  103. January 21, 2006 at 6:34 pm

    I haven’t commented much here, but I want you to know that your blog was one of the first I found, and is still one I read regularly. Your presence as a strong, smart, witty, feminist voice out here has made the blogosphere a better and more interesting place!

    Thank you for your blog, and good luck with your new, post-college life. You’ll be missed!

  104. January 21, 2006 at 6:40 pm

    Lauren, you inspired me to start my own blog and you helped me realise that feminism wasn’t a dark secret I had to be ashamed of. Best wishes for the future and thanks for maintaining such an excellent site.

  105. January 21, 2006 at 6:45 pm

    Sayonara Bloggy, I never knew you, but I would have liked to.

  106. January 21, 2006 at 6:50 pm

    Lauren, thank you for running feministe. Although I will miss not only your wonderfully funny and lucid writing and insightful perspectives but also your warmth and humor, the pictures of the cats, updates on Ethan and all the rest of yourself that you’ve shared so generously through this blog, I am happy that you have the chance to move on to something new. I wish the best of luck to you and Ethan.

  107. Jen
    January 21, 2006 at 6:57 pm

    Thanks for everything you’ve written. You will be missed! Best of luck to you and Ethan.

  108. January 21, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    Good Luck. You will be missed!

  109. SB
    January 21, 2006 at 7:24 pm

    Ah, Lauren. One of the first and best voices I found on the web.

    You will be missed.

  110. Decklin Foster
    January 21, 2006 at 7:30 pm

    I am humming “Better Things” for you. If you are as wonderful as you have been here in whatever else it is that you find, I think there won’t be anything you can’t do. But don’t go tooooo far away. :-)

  111. January 21, 2006 at 8:45 pm

    I’ll miss you. You’ve been one of my treasured regular reads.

    Good fortune and best wishes to you in whatever comes next. You deserve it!

  112. Zenmasterw
    January 21, 2006 at 8:50 pm


  113. January 21, 2006 at 9:00 pm


    Despite our differences, I always thought yours was a blog of raw truth, intelligent observations, noble intentions. Sorry my unfortunate rhetoric didn’t ever really communicate my true feelings about your work.

  114. January 21, 2006 at 9:09 pm

    Ella & I wish you the best. Thanks for making me a better blogger.

  115. January 21, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Hail and Fare well!

    Best of luck in your future endeavours and don’t forget, wherever you go, to kick ass and to stand up and be counted.

    I hope we can follow your example.

    – Monado

  116. January 21, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    I’m sure you realize that this is a great blog. It’s one of first I starting reading. You’ll be missed.

  117. January 21, 2006 at 9:46 pm


    Good luck to you in all your future pursuits.

    I have enjoyed reading your blog since I first discovered it a year ago. Thanks for putting your time and effort into this venture, which has been more than worth it.

    Trust me, it will be hard to stay away from the blogosphere forever. I tried to get away and was pulled back within two weeks.


  118. January 21, 2006 at 9:54 pm

    I’m truly sorry that you’re leaving, but I know it’ll be to another new adventure.

    All the best to you and Ethan.

  119. January 21, 2006 at 10:23 pm

    I will miss you…

    But glad to see Jill and future bloggers will carry your Baby onward!

  120. January 21, 2006 at 10:34 pm

    Lauren, this is surely a hiatus rather than a permanent goodbye. The next time we read your voice in a public forum, I’m confident you’ll reach more folks than ever — in a crowded blogosphere, you’ve had an invaluable and unique take on so many vital feminist and family issues.

    Peace and all the best to you and Ethan.

  121. sara
    January 21, 2006 at 10:53 pm

    Oh, man.

    Adding my wishes of luck and my great thanks to the ever-growing pile – I only discovered this blog in the fall and I now read it daily. Good luck with everything!!!

  122. Emily H.
    January 21, 2006 at 11:25 pm

    You’re one of my favorite bloggers, and I’m sorry to see you go. Thanks for all the great writing.

  123. January 21, 2006 at 11:38 pm

    I’ll miss you dearly, Lauren. You’ve done so much for me, from helping to clarify my thinking, to driving traffic to my humble little blog.

    (Have you noticed that this farewell thread reads like a who’s who of feminists bloggers? I hope the significance of that doesn’t escape you.)

  124. January 21, 2006 at 11:52 pm

    I wish I knew you better too, and I’ll miss reading you on this blog. This blog was one of the first feminist blogs I found and it’s meant a lot to me & so many other fierce writing women!

    Love & good luck to you and Ethan.

    I hope you let us all know what you’re up to in Real Life – just once in a while!

    – Liz

  125. Tex
    January 22, 2006 at 1:07 am

    I feel as tho I should be better prepared for this after the hiatus you took a while back. Jill really stepped it up then and I expect she’ll keep up the great quality, but damn, I was so happy when you came back and we had both of you around the past couplea months.
    I feel like I’m going to cry. You showed that blogging could be a versatile medium, and a worthwhile one. I’ve always loved how your blog never felt single-issue to me, and I’m not just talking about your beautiful knitting and your funny memes and your friggin adorable kid.
    and yeah, add my name to those who wanted to be feminist bloggers because this one was so great.
    God damn blogging that it would drive such a wonderful writer away. You’re great and I’m going to miss you.

  126. becky
    January 22, 2006 at 1:38 am

    best of luck! I only just started reading this blog last fall, but have already come to look forward to the insight, the stories, and the wit (not to mention those adorable cats!)

    thank you!

  127. KnifeGhost
    January 22, 2006 at 3:06 am

    If I wasn’t already crying over an unrelated emotional kick in the crotch, I’d cry over this.

    Ok, I wouldn’t. But I still hate to see you go.

  128. jr
    January 22, 2006 at 3:07 am

    Sorry to see you go. I hope you reconsider. You’re an incredibly gifted writer Lauren. Thanks for everything you’ve done to further the cause of liberty.

  129. January 22, 2006 at 5:15 am

    Best of luck for the future, Lauren.

  130. January 22, 2006 at 5:20 am

    Good luck Lauren, the place looks like it’s in good hands.

  131. January 22, 2006 at 7:15 am

    Gosh, I’ll miss your lovely kitties! :-)
    But I’m looking fwd to the new feministes.

  132. January 22, 2006 at 8:22 am

    Hey. I blogged to try and be like you, yours was the first feminist blog I found at 16, surrounded by all the confusion of first having my eyes opened to feminism.It helped a lot.

    Good luck x

  133. suezboo
    January 22, 2006 at 9:00 am

    Aw, rats. I’ll miss your unique voice, Ethan, Doug, Pablo. Take care of yourselves and thank you so much for all the education and entertainment.

  134. jam
    January 22, 2006 at 10:15 am

    fare you well, Ms. Lauren, and thank you.

    i will miss you.

  135. January 22, 2006 at 10:40 am

    Sob! We’ll miss you!

  136. January 22, 2006 at 11:20 am

    Wow. I just hit “post” on my one-year anniversary post, and then came over here and read this. Sappy music is indeed called for.

    “I’ll miss your voice” is an understatement. Check in sometime.

  137. January 22, 2006 at 11:49 am

    I’m going to miss you, Lauren.

  138. January 22, 2006 at 2:05 pm

    You’ll be missed, Lauren, and you were a fabulous blogger :-)

  139. iguana
    January 22, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Thanks, good luck, but too bad…not enough women’s voices and writings to be had online……to be read……….to be assured the feminist worldview is out and heard.

  140. January 22, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear the news. Good luck with teaching. What lucky students you’ll have. I hope you find time to pop in and post from time to time. We’ll miss your voice.

  141. January 22, 2006 at 2:54 pm

    Sorry to hear it, Lauren, but real life does come first.

    I doubt you’ll be able to stay away from Blogland completely — I suspect you’ll wind up guest-posting on a semi-regular basis somewhere. It’s a different level of committment and energy from running your own site, but still feels good.

    No matter what, good luck to you and yours!

  142. Another Jeff
    January 22, 2006 at 3:11 pm

    Please, pretty please, say it ain’t so.

  143. January 22, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    I’ll miss your writing and your insight. Hopefully, in the future I’ll get to enjoy your writing some more, whether it be somewhere on the internet or in a publication.
    Best of luck to you!

  144. January 22, 2006 at 3:16 pm

    You did a wonderful job, Lauren. Everyone who reads liberal blogs seriously will miss your posts. I also know how you feel. I’ve blogged for 3 /12 years, and I do wonder how much it has interfered with my other writing.

    My best to you.

    (R&V send their best to Pablo and hope he checks in for Friday cat blogging now and then.)

  145. January 22, 2006 at 4:12 pm

    Your writing is always top-notch, and I’ll miss it. But you have left the blog in great hands, and I can’t wait to read what comes from Feministe in the future.

    Best of luck – and kudos to anyone who can quote Pavement in a farewell!

  146. January 22, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    Yours is one of the first feminist blogs I read. You’ll be greatly missed….


  147. January 22, 2006 at 4:51 pm

    Ah, bummer. :(

    I hope that maybe someday you’ll start up another blog, one just for you, the knitting, the cats, your little guy, and so on.

    Best of luck!

  148. Betsy
    January 22, 2006 at 4:55 pm

    Boo! I just found this blog a few weeks ago, but it’s already a daily read for me! I always have the worst timing…
    Thanks for sharing, and good luck!

  149. January 22, 2006 at 5:34 pm

    While I’m sad to see you go, I’m happy to see that you’re prioritizing what is important and necessary in your life.

    Get ready for some serious blogging withdrawal, replete with feelings of loneliness and loss. Dropping out of the conversation is very tough, and commenting on other blogs just isn’t the same.

    I hope that the amazing outpouring of love here buttresses you as you deal with those feelings. To have touched so many people in so many different ways is an amazing accomplishment.

    But we all know that it won’t be your last. Good luck with everything.

  150. gxx
    January 22, 2006 at 10:12 pm

    You are a fantastic writer – ever so talented. The very best of luck with everything.
    Rock on.

  151. Catyche
    January 22, 2006 at 11:22 pm

    Since I discoverd your blog last year (which introduced me to blogs) you’ve been such an inspiration for me and have helped shape my feminist identity. I’m taking the time to delurk and say goodbye. I’ll miss your amazing (and often hilarious) posts and I wish you and your little family the best of luck and a good life.

  152. January 23, 2006 at 12:31 am

    Best of luck to you, Lauren. You will be sorely missed.

  153. January 23, 2006 at 1:10 am

    I am sad to see you go, but I have greatly enjoyed your writing. I wish you all the best.

  154. amaz0n
    January 23, 2006 at 3:22 am

    I will miss you, Lauren. Yours is one of few blogs I read, and Feministe inspired me to start reading blogs in general, a choice that has enriched my intellectual life.

    Please stick around.

  155. January 23, 2006 at 8:20 am

    Thanks for all the posts – I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

    I’ll really miss you.


  156. January 23, 2006 at 9:39 am

    Thank you for all your time put here. Even though I didn’t get to know you that well, you will be missed.

  157. anne
    January 23, 2006 at 10:42 am

    Aw, man. I’m sorry to see you go, Lauren… like many here, you have been a must-read for me since I “discovered” blogging last year. While I understand your decision to go, know that your voice will be missed.

    Best to you and Ethan and the kitties!

  158. January 23, 2006 at 11:47 am

    Lauren, you’re awesome. Best to you and yours as you make this transition.

    BTW, I would be happy to pay you to do a design for my blog–drop me an email if you have the time!

  159. January 23, 2006 at 11:49 am

    darn. i get busy for a coupla days and look what happens. best of luck to you. thanks for all your posts. well done. ya made me think, even while agreeing with you, and that’s a very good thing.

  160. January 23, 2006 at 12:02 pm

    Well, hell. :(

    I’ve been blogging for three years and change, and I forget how I found feministe in the first place, but this was one of the first blogs I started reading.

    I totally understand and respect your need to focus your energies elsewhere. Especially with a blog like this that does such a public service (my own blog bears no such responsibility whatsoever).

    I’m not even much of a feminist, but I just enjoy you personally because you’re so damn smart and well-spoken. I’ve enjoyed watching your journey over the last few years. Thank you, Lauren, for sharing your struggles and your triumphs and your wisdom and knowledge with us. Selfishly, I hope this turns out to be more of a hiatus than The End. But wherever you end up, I wish you well.


  161. January 23, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    Awww! I’ll miss you. But at the same time I kind of envy you. Best of luck at being equally as successful in whatever you do next with all the suddenly-freed-up time you’ll have….

  162. January 23, 2006 at 6:15 pm


    All the best to you.

  163. January 23, 2006 at 8:37 pm

    Oh no! You’ll be missed, but I hope your non-blog endeavors are marvelous!

  164. jess
    January 23, 2006 at 10:17 pm

    Thanks, your writing has inspired me to think critically.
    Good luck with the rest of your endevours.

  165. January 24, 2006 at 12:12 am

    fare thee well, lauren. hope to see you (e-)around.

  166. david
    January 24, 2006 at 9:48 am

    i’m sorry you’re saying goodbye. you’ve opened my eyes and made me question many things i’d been taking for granted; you made me think. your voice, your wit, and your intelligence made this place truly special. the people who remain in your life — your son and your future students, in particular — are fortunate, indeed.

    looking forward to what comes next. i don’t for a minute think this is the last we’ll hear from you. at least i certainly hope not.

    to borrow a closing: fare thee well.


  167. m.
    January 24, 2006 at 10:13 am

    it was my loss that i didnt find your site earlier… but since i have, its been one more candle of hope. i just want to say that i admire the courage and clarity with which youve made your decision – if its so hard for people who dont even know you personally, i cant start imagining how it must be for you. salut.
    i admire your work more than i properly express. i wish you much happiness for whatever you take up next.
    take care :)

  168. January 24, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    Dang. You will truly be missed! Good luck with everything…

  169. January 25, 2006 at 5:28 pm

    Bless you, Lauren. We’ll miss you on Feministe, but I hope we’ll still hear from you in the blogosphere.

  170. ae
    January 26, 2006 at 2:06 am

    Fare well, Lauren, and thanks. Hope we’ll see you again soon.

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