Just Like the Oscars, Except Sane

Fametracker gives away awards with some actual relevance to recipients who actually deserve them.

And brings some snark to the question of Katie Holmes and her continued existence as an entity independent of the creepiest husband this side of Travis “Double Indemnity” Frey:

Katie Holmes seemed like a promising choice: true, she’s hooked up (for now — or not, if Life & Style is to be believed) with our Famous Person of the Year, which suggests that her fame is built on a solid foundation — or as solid a foundation as is possible when it’s tethered to the left ring finger of a complete nutter. But then again, her next movie (Thank You For Smoking) is about to come out, and she’ll be unable to attend any of its premieres because she’ll be too pregnant (or “pregnant,” if your own common sense is to be believed) to travel; Sir Nutter has already started to choke off any fame she has independent of himself, as evidenced by the fact that her next project post-Smoking is nothing — all the better for her to watch the nanny raise her “child” while she studies her Dianetics.

And handicaps future Oscars hosts, with some choice words for the Academy’s evident selection criteria:

We like DeGeneres a lot — it’s hard to be funny when you’re so determined to park it in the middle of the road, and she manages it admirably — and she certainly has taken over Rosie O’Donnell’s mantle as America’s Favourite Non-Threatening Lesbian. But the Academy may not want to risk the possibility that she’s been a radical separatist sleeper agent, just waiting to get onstage at the Kodak to agitate for same-sex marriage or cheaper U-Haul rates or whatever it is the gals want these days.

Seriously. Billy Crystal is edgier. Way edgier. I mean, Lea DeLaria, sure, but Ellen’s the tofurkey cream-of-mushroom casserole to her habanero shrimp skewers.

They also have a post on Oscar-nominees-turned-TV-shows.

And on the least essential films of Spring. Look for them at next year’s awards ceremony!


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One Response to Just Like the Oscars, Except Sane

  1. Hissy Cat says:

    Seriously. Billy Crystal is edgier. Way edgier. I mean, Lea DeLaria, sure, but Ellen’s the tofurkey cream-of-mushroom casserole to her habanero shrimp skewers.

    Bwahahaha!

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