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9 Responses

  1. Azarnes
    Azarnes April 24, 2006 at 1:02 pm |

    Yes, exactly. If a woman thinks the individual in question is actually male, she will apologize, check the door, or yell for a cop. A non-conforming woman ( as a butch, I qualify) gets the thrice over, and the rude questions, with the sickening post-script- ‘really, you’re quite pretty!” No, I’m a lineback. I look like Wolverine, not Jessica Simpson. And guess what? It is no compliment to me to say I look pretty despite eveything about me- body, build, stance, haircut, expression, clothing, mannerisms. That is all deliberate. Why would I want to be working against everything I am presenting? Just call be sir and have done with it.

  2. zuzu
    zuzu April 24, 2006 at 1:15 pm | *

    I got mistaken for a man quite often when I had short hair. I don’t dress particularly butch, either. It was one thing when people saw me from the back, because I am both big and tall, but what got me was the people who could see my face, see that I was, say, wearing rather large earrings, and see my tits! I mean, you can’t miss the tits.

    I guess I just didn’t fit in the box people wanted me to be in, so they zeroed in on one or two features and assigned me a gender based on that.

  3. Erika
    Erika April 24, 2006 at 1:42 pm |

    I’ve done the double take a few times in the restroom, but it’s not hard to make a quick assessment. If the person, who looks like a guy, isn’t leering at me, then I usually assume the person’s a woman.

  4. Sjofn
    Sjofn April 24, 2006 at 3:50 pm |

    Now I’m wondering if I would be mistaken for a guy if I just cut my hair short (I don’t like how I look with short hair, though, I blame the hideous Dorothy Hamil haircut I had in fifth grade). ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that’s the only blatant HELO I AM A WOMAN signal I’m left with these days.

    A tempting experiment!

  5. Nymphalidae
    Nymphalidae April 24, 2006 at 5:12 pm |

    I don’t understand why people care. There are stalls…people aren’t going to see your parts. I grew up sharing locker rooms with boys because girls weren’t common enough in hockey to warrent making locker rooms for us. It wasn’t really a big deal, it was just how it was. People should stop being prudes.

  6. NancyP
    NancyP April 25, 2006 at 12:55 am |

    I (slightly femme female) feel worse walking into the guy’s bathroom by mistake, because they DON’T have stalls, and I don’t want to get some shy guy’s sphincter clamped down midstream. I have always expected men to be the delicate sex.

  7. Older
    Older April 25, 2006 at 10:11 pm |

    I get the gender confusion all the time, despite the hips, and the boobs, and back in the day, my long hair (now very short). It used to annoy hell out of me but after 60 or so years of adulthood, I think I’m finally getting used to it. I’m usually perceived as gay. Gay guys think I’m a gay guy (despite the hips and boobs) and lesbians think I’m a lesbian (despite the joined-at-the-hip obviously male husband). But it’s kinda flattering, y’know, especially when they try to hit on me (at my age!)

  8. Rosemary Grace
    Rosemary Grace April 26, 2006 at 5:25 pm |

    My husband has confused the heck out of a few people by *gasp* wearing a kilt, and *double gasp* having long pretty hair. Some of his coworkers at a military institution clearly thought he was a gender-bending moral degenerate for wearing his family tartan to work on Christmas Eve, though even the most horrified of them liked his fancy ankle-laced shoes that go with the outfit. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was very shocked when he told me how many asenine comments he got.

    There was also a little boy in a restaurant who loudly said to his brother (while pointing at my be-kilted husband’s back) “is that a CHICK? she’s got a BEARD! but it has to be a CHICK, she’s wearing a SKIRT” Poor kid’s head nearly exploded before his brother explained that it was a dude, a scottish dude. Having been given a category for the bearded-long-haired-skirt-wearing-creature, the little boy was satisfied.

    I think it is definitely the lack of easy categorization that makes people feel threatened, not a perception of someone being in the wrong category. I’ve seen similar responses when I don’t fit people’s expectations of a female, or a brit, or an american, or a scientist, or whatever hole they want to stuff me into.

  9. Magis
    Magis April 26, 2006 at 5:45 pm |

    If he’ll take his Clegh Mohr and Skean Dhub with him, at least they won’t point.

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