Okay, remember how I said that Alligators! Following! You! Home! was one more reason I will never live in the South?
FORT MYERS, Fla. – An elderly woman, who was bitten by an alligator while working in her backyard, beat back the reptile with a garden hose.
Constance Gittles, 74, of south Punta Gorda was watering plants Tuesday when a nearly 6-foot-long alligator bit her leg just above the ankle.
“I just whacked him right in the snout with the nozzle,” she said. “After that, he took off,” Gittles told the News-Press of Fort Myers.
Gittles received three puncture wounds and some smaller scrapes and abrasions from her confrontation with the alligator.
A trapper working with wildlife officials later caught the animal in a nearby pond. It will be killed and the hide and meat sold.
While it comforts me to know that this gator will wind up as a nice pair of shoes and some appetizers, it still broke the compact. The old woman stays in her yard, and the gator stays in the pond. Just like the rats in the subway — they’re supposed to stay on the tracks, not on the platform. We have a deal. They’re mildly amusing down there, but freaky up where we are.
And Colbert thinks it’s *bears* that are killing machines.
It was the gator’s yard first.
Three puncture wounds and some smaller scrapes and abrasions? Pshaw, I get hurt worse than that by the damned roses. I’ll admit that gator tail is yummy, though. Tastes just like monitor.
My sister and brother in law have this pond with lots of ducks. Well the ducks strated coming up missing. Now I have no Idea how a duck can come up missing, but those are the words that my brother in law used.
We found out that he had a five foot alligator in the pond that was eating everything, so we caught it and then ate it, best damn duck I have ever tasted. ;-)
I see a sequel to “Snakes on a Plane” – “Gators in a Garden!”
Samuel L. Jackson stars as the snake-conquerer who goes to visit his mom in Florida. The mob, in retaliation for his aviation heroics, unleashes gators in the ponds around the retirement complex where his mother lives. “We’ve got muthafuckin’ gators here!”
They totally break the deal late at night. I’ve seen things… *shudder*
FUCK!
Just…FUCK!
Chicklet, you win the internets. *laughing*
It would be funny if they brought the elderly lady back some of the meat from the gator. Ironic even.
Since you’re interested in such things.