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Stone Killers

By zuzu on 5.16.2006

Don’t try to tell me any different.

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Author: zuzu has written 1119 posts for this blog.

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10 Responses

  1. 1
    Magis 5.16.2006 at 10:58 am |

    Although Florida has never before such a concentration of deaths in so short a time, wildlife officials said there is no pattern or common element to the attacks.

    Ummm, too many gators?
    Ummm, too many people?
    Ummm, too close to each other?

    Just askin’

  2. 2
    Ron Sullivan 5.16.2006 at 11:25 am |

    I’ll take B and C, magis, with a side of random statistical cluster please.

    By way of perspective: more deaths by car in that week, and cars don’t taste nearly so good when you deep-fry ‘em.

    My poor mother. She moved to Florida back um before 1980 anyway, and discovered she had a phobia about gators. Maybe she’d always had one, but there wasn’t much chance to notice it in Pennsylvania.

    Such was this phobia that she behaved as if she believed gators could not only outrun ya (true) but could levitate at least eight feet onto a railed boardwalk, cross the parking lot instantaneously, leap through a car window, AND/OR open an unlocked car door.

    Dang, Mom. Sorry. Maybe I should have been more sympathetic. I didn’t hoot and make fun anyway. But I suppose I’m really talking to her here.

    At least she was never crazy enough to move back to Harrisburg.

  3. 3
    nolagal 5.16.2006 at 11:28 am |

    Snorkeling in a lake in southern Florida? In the middle of alligator mating season? I’m sorry, but that’s just plain dumb. I lived in southern Florida for a while, and we knew better than to go into any freshwater lakes or canals. Go to a pool, or the beach. Alligators rarely attack, but they have been known to. And as the article and Magis pointed out, southern Florida has been under tremendous development pressure over the last 10-15+ years. Former swampland is now converted to swampland, and the gators have to live somewhere. People can avoid being attacked by using a little common sense… gators shouldn’t have to pay the price for people taking unnecessary risks.

  4. 4
    nolagal 5.16.2006 at 11:30 am |

    lol @ Ron Sullivan – I used to work at a preserve with a fenced boardwalk over a swamp populated by alligators. I’d get that question nearly every day – can that gator jump up here (6 feet above the water onto a fenced boardwalk) and get me? They can run, but they sure can’t jump…

  5. 5
    a nut 5.16.2006 at 11:51 am |

    Yep, it’s too many people and too many alligators now loving too close to each other. What the hell do people expect when the swamplands/freshwater lakes are their backyard now?

    In Corolla, NC, the wild horses used to be truly wild ’til they started building the small town up. Then people started complaining about the horse poop and knocked over trashcans. Now the horses exist in a fenced-in area that no where near equates to the vast amounts of land they used to roam.

    And really, all this hype about alligator attacks is just to scare the shit out of people. After all, that’s what our MSM does best isn’t it? Look at the shark attacks last summer, the Avian flu (they even came out with the made-for-tv movie just a few weeks ago), etc. It’s just feeding into our culture of fear.

  6. 6
    Magis 5.16.2006 at 12:16 pm |

    a nut:

    … too many people and too many alligators now loving too close to each other.

    I know it’s just a type but…it’s the best one. Ever.

  7. 7
    Magis 5.16.2006 at 12:16 pm |

    type = typo…a typo.

  8. 8
    A Pang 5.16.2006 at 12:46 pm |

    Snorkeling in a lake in southern Florida? In the middle of alligator mating season? I’m sorry, but that’s just plain dumb. I lived in southern Florida for a while, and we knew better than to go into any freshwater lakes or canals. Go to a pool, or the beach. [...] People can avoid being attacked by using a little common sense… gators shouldn’t have to pay the price for people taking unnecessary risks.

    Blame the victim, why don’t you?!

    [/SARCASM, PEOPLE]

  9. 9
    Marksman2000 5.16.2006 at 2:06 pm |

    Zuzu, you will be pleased to hear me say, “You are, undoubtedly, undeniably, correct this time.”

    If a person moves to Florida, they may turn into alligator food. Hell, according to your posts on here, the alligator may even knock on your front your before s/he takes a bite out of your ass. Kinda spooky. Disconcerting at best, really.

  10. 10
    a nut 5.16.2006 at 10:50 pm |

    Wow. It definitely was a typo and supposedly I looked it over before hitting submit. Oh well. I agree, it’s a good typo. :)

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