Comments on: If I didn’t know better…

By: Anna in Cairo

Anna in Cairo — Tue, 23 May 2006 12:19:14 +0000

another example of someone using an epithet as a badge is a Middle Eastern guy whose pseudonym is ‘Sandmonkey’ (that is also the name of his blog). A lot of irony impaired people think he’s a self-hating Arab.

Re women calling each other bitch, it certainly would be better to use another term but it is hard to get out of speech patterns that are engrained over many years. You have to be very self-aware. I have had partial success in trying to stop using the term “bitch” (based on dialogues over at Echidne, I decided “asshole” and ‘jerk’ would serve the purpose better and could also serve the purpose for people of that description of both genders) but have had less success with the term “bitching and moaning”.

By: Nick Kiddle

Nick Kiddle — Tue, 23 May 2006 08:33:23 +0000

I’m not sure I understand why it’s misogynistic for a woman to refer to another person as a “stupid bitch.” Is it really likely that said woman hates herself and all members of her gender; or is it more likely that she simply hates the person she’s talking about, however unkindly?

“Bitch” is a misogynistic word that doesn’t get any less so when it’s a woman using it. It just means she’s been so thoroughly steeped in misogynistic language from various cultural influences that it’s the first word she reaches for when she wants to express her distaste.

“Bitching and carping” is a slightly different case, and I think it’s drifted far enough from its origins to be considered safe. But that doesn’t change the fact that if someone does find it offensive, the polite thing to do is say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

By: saoba

saoba — Mon, 22 May 2006 21:09:58 +0000

Or, “Don’t you have a sense of humor?”

To which I am likely to respond, “Let’s test that… say something funny.”

By: zuzu

zuzu — Mon, 22 May 2006 17:05:38 +0000

Or, “Don’t you have a sense of humor?”

By: Shannon W.

Shannon W. — Mon, 22 May 2006 17:00:42 +0000

Also, it’s because powerful groups are always trying to mask teir meanness behind “I didn’t mean it that way”

By: Phil

Phil — Mon, 22 May 2006 16:42:49 +0000

I hate to feel like I’m asking an obvious question here, but I’m not sure I understand why it’s misogynistic for a woman to refer to another person as a “stupid bitch.” Is it really likely that said woman hates herself and all members of her gender; or is it more likely that she simply hates the person she’s talking about, however unkindly? What if she’s talking about a man? I understand the importance of a approaching language with a feminist eye, but i’m not sure I understand how it works in this case.

By: Masculinities in Media

Masculinities in Media — Mon, 22 May 2006 14:47:05 +0000

Good post. I think intention drastically affects how we hear words. Important to consider when we get tied up in language games. I call them games because while I feel that it’s important to critique what we say, it’s more important to evaluate what we do. How many of us knew that person that had all the feminist, radical, cool things to say but when it came down to it – they couldn’t follow it up with action. This extra attention on language can also be alienating for people that want to get involved but simply don’t know the “right” language. But this is another comment. Good post.