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Alternative Dispute Resolution

By zuzu on 6.7.2006

One way to do it.

(warning: pdf).

H/T Thomas.

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Author: zuzu has written 1119 posts for this blog.

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14 Responses

  1. 1
    Magis 6.7.2006 at 3:06 pm |

    *snigger*

    Hizoner had obvious had enough BS.

    A custard pie contest would have been more fun (and more tasty).

  2. 2
    Erin M 6.7.2006 at 3:11 pm |

    I want to make judge someday, just so I can do stuff like this.

  3. 3
    Thomas 6.7.2006 at 3:18 pm |

    I get upset at judges that don’t like to resolve discovery disputes and expect lawyers to be able to agree on everything — because some stuff is important. But there are disputes that lawyers ought to be able to work out like adults, and location for a deposition is one of them. If you can’t do it in one person’s office, rent a room at a hotel! Do it at the courthouse- I’ve done it! But don’t bother the judge with it! So this judge decided that if their disputes are in the nature of playground bickering, they will be resolved the way playground disputes are resolved by children.

    Love it.

  4. 4
    zuzu 6.7.2006 at 3:21 pm | *

    Someone else just forwarded this to me as well.

  5. 5
    Kyra 6.7.2006 at 4:12 pm |

    My computer hates PDFs with a passion. What is it?

  6. 6
    Doodle Bean 6.7.2006 at 4:12 pm |

    Wow! What a hoot!

  7. 7
    Sarah S 6.7.2006 at 4:15 pm |

    Kyra

    It is a short document, written in very legalese language, ordering the two parties to play “rock, paper, scisors” to settle their dispute and stop wasting this judges time.

  8. 8
    Gordon K 6.7.2006 at 5:57 pm |

    Someone needs to start a collection of this stuff. There was the Smithy Code, the “Motion denied because you’re an idiot” one …

  9. 9
    Craig R. 6.7.2006 at 7:32 pm |

    I loved the reference to the “Gordian Knot”

    And they could each bring one paralegal to act as second witness

  10. 10
    Red Queen 6.7.2006 at 8:03 pm |

    That was the funniest thing I’ve read all week.

  11. 11
    evil_fizz 6.7.2006 at 8:48 pm |

    Hehe. Now I have to go find the denial of defense counsel’s motion for a court-ordered fist fight between defense counsel and plaintiff’s counsel. It’s from Montana as I recall…

  12. 12
    Ledasmom 6.8.2006 at 8:33 am |

    There’s an entertaining little book somewhere in this house entitled “Corpus Juris Humorous” (or something very like that), consisting of entertaining cases and decisions. One of ‘em involves a man accused of defamation for claiming that his mare could urinate better beer than the plaintiff brewed.

  13. 13
    Dianne 6.8.2006 at 9:35 am |

    One of ‘em involves a man accused of defamation for claiming that his mare could urinate better beer than the plaintiff brewed.

    Was a taste test ordered to settle the issue?

  14. 14
    Kelley 6.8.2006 at 10:12 am |

    hahahahahaha!!! I’m stealing that Order!!! I just cut and pasted it, so I can possibly use it as a Motion in my on-going, monster-sized, non-stop products liability litigation!!! Hilarious!!!

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