Amanda had this link to a tale of a creepy little stalker and his pursuit of a jogger via signs and Craigslist.
I’m sure he thinks of himself as a Nice Guy.
(or browse the Archives by date, category, tags etc)
get blog updates
Recent Comments
- Calderon on This Is What Happened to CeCe
- Kristin Rawls on “Kill the Gays” Bill is Back in Uganda
- karak on This Is What Happened to CeCe
- Redlark on This Is What Happened to CeCe
- Joe from an alternate universe on This Is What Happened to CeCe
- Sarah Harper on The Annual Post About Sexist Super Bowl Commercials 2012
- LotusBen on Prudie on “real” rape
- Annie D on This Is What Happened to CeCe
- Annie D on This Is What Happened to CeCe
- Jadey on This Is What Happened to CeCe
Most Commented Recent Posts
- An Asexual Map for Sex-Positive Feminism (138)
- Women refuses to give raped daughter EC, brags about it on internet. (129)
- So should we just start calling high heels "body modification"? (128)
- Some Transformative Justice Links (127)
- Prudie on "real" rape (112)
- FNTT Season 8, Round 1: the "So a girl and a vibrator walk onto a plane..." edition (89)
- FNTT Season 8, Round 1: the REAL FEMINISTS edition (77)
- "Kill the Gays" Bill is Back in Uganda (74)
- Facts, myths, and blankety-blank lies about Planned Parenthood and the Susan G. Komen Foundation (65)
- FNTT Season 8, Round 1: The Baby-Killing Whores Edition (63)
Yes Means Yes!
Reproductive Health Matters
We’re in the Guardian
More of Feministe On
For wordpress.com support
just for you, a widget as requested
Sponsored By
Tried and Tested
The authors of this website have hand-selected these titles because we believe they may be of interest to a feminist audience.
Consider them for gifts to friends, family, or yourself! We do receive some income if you choose to order these titles based on our recommendations. All funds help support our costs to provide this space.
Consider them for gifts to friends, family, or yourself! We do receive some income if you choose to order these titles based on our recommendations. All funds help support our costs to provide this space.
What link?
That one!
Thanks!
Oh, that’s kind of sad. In the news clip, it’s apparent you have this guy who has zero experience with women, is socially stunted, and thought he was being sweet and romantic. I’m glad people were clear that his behavior was creepy — not cupidesque — but I feel bad for him. Heartbroken and publicly humiliated all at once.
Here’s a sad face to illustrate: :(
Yeah, I agree. Objectively creepy, but contextually sad. |=(
I’d feel sad for him if it wasn’t for all the comments about scantily clad women “torturing” men with their appearance.
They just make me want to hit him in the head with a shovel. Creep.
I think you’re being waayyyy too nice. The guy’s thirty-seven years old, clueful enough that he was wised up after a little bit of Internets ridicule, and yet had somehow not figured out until just before then that his action was only going to make the woman feel terrified?
I think either he’s in tenuous touch with social reality all of a sudden — say, a schizophrenic episode, in which case our compassion is warranted — or he knows damn well his behavior was intimidation, and now he’s the kid with his hand in the cookie jar.
Creepy as hell.
Makes me want to call up my sister-in-law, who lives in the Twin Cities, is an avid runner, and looks very young – just to make sure she’s not going running without protection – preferably in the form of an Uzi, or a large viscious dog. For all I know she could be Shy Girl, which is very scary.
Duct tape. He went looking for her while carrying duct tape.
I’ve heard this type of thing from men, and my fiance is the only guy I’ve ever heard understand: If a woman does not wish to speak to you or accept assistance from you, a stranger she is under no obligation to speak to or accept assistance from, don’t say degrading things and just back the fuck off. We’re trained from birth not to talk to strangers, that strange men are dangerous (though statistically speaking we’re more likely to be raped by those we know), and that being in public is to be in danger. I’m terrified to walk alone to and from my classes at my college because so often I’ve been propositioned by drivers or pedestrians, some of whom will follow me or continue trying to speak to me after I’ve made it clear that their advances are unwelcome.
Lots of “nice guys” just don’t get why we ignore and avoid them, they call us bitches and ice queens because we’re too “proud” to accept them holding doors for us or trying to help us carry things we’re perfectly capable of carrying. Obviously it’s a sign of the degradation of society that a woman will not get into the car of a total stranger. They just don’t seem to understand that we have every reason to be fearful, and just because you don’t look like a drooling maniac doesn’t mean you ought to be trusted.
What “love”, what “connection” does this guy have with this girl? He thinks she’s attractive. He doesn’t even know enough about her to know her name or whether he’s single, yet he thinks that because of his appreciation for her ass, he deserves a date with her. Now this girl has been driven away from her jogging spot by some jackass who thinks that her smiling at him gives him permission to stalk her. That the media portrays him as merely a misunderstood, bumbling romantic is disgusting. The man is in his late thirties, and talks about his desire to jump teenage girls, how he has difficulty controlling his lust to assault girls because they have lower back tattoos or wear skimpy clothing (don’t most people wear skimpy clothing when exercising? You know, that whole sweating thing…).
If he saw the girl and was interested, and didn’t want to be a stalker, he could have damned well said “hi, I think you look like an interesting person. Can I jog with you while we talk?” or asked her out to coffee at a public place or something. But he didn’t. “Don’t you recognize me?” is all he could muster, exuding a sick sort of ego. Obviously she must have recognized him, because certainly he’s the only creep who’s ever waved frantically at her. Yes, she rebuffed him, rejected him. Believe it or not, we still have that right. At one point he ascribes her lack of interest to his weight or level of attractiveness. If Brad Pitt hit on me the way he did, I’d be running away just as fast. Believe it or not, not all rejections are based on you being fat. Maybe she’s seeing someone. Maybe she’s gay. Or maybe she’s just like most women: not interested in total strangers who stalk her.
You know, this sort of behavior is celebrated in a lot of romantic movies. I think a lot of guys who grow up in this culture end up thinking that possessive, obsessive pursuit is the best way to court women. That said, I would have thought this story was sad or poignant had he been 15 – but he is 37 – the only sane reaction is “ick”.
I think we’re witnessing an early-stages serial rapist who just happened to get widespread media attention before his behavior elevated from stalking to peeping, then to exposing himself, and finally to sexual assault. I’m sorry if that’s mean but that’s just the vibe I’m getting from this guy.
Esme, well done. Do you really only know one man who totally gets that, though? I don’t understand what’s so hard to figure out…women are trained to avoid strange men in any case, and when they plant themselves in your way and shriek “Don’t you recognize me!!!” any slim chance they may have had is blown to hell.
I don’t think he seems like a well man, and while he’s picked up that most people think he’s scary and ridiculous, he doesn’t really seem to grasp why. Not because he’s stubbornly decided that he’s entitled to women’s attention and that they’re bitches or ice queens for rejecting him, but because he honestly doesn’t see that this isn’t a way to pursue a woman romantically. Which really means he shouldn’t be running around loose.
“We’re trained from birth not to talk to strangers, that strange men are dangerous (though statistically speaking we’re more likely to be raped by those we know), and that being in public is to be in danger.”
But at the same time we’re socialized to not want to “make a scene” or “be a bitch”. This dichotomy is why some women have trouble trusting their instincts in dangerous situations.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZeJuQIKaSc
I had only one creepy experience behind the bar it was an older man who was nice to start out with so I was nice then he started to ask me to lower my pants, asking what I was wearing under my pants… so I can make more money and “he was just looking for a good time.”
I bartend but I don’t take much crap but for some reason I was being nice to the older idoit. The doorguys kept an eye on him. Ever since then, I just decided I would be more firm at work. I don’t know a nice way to turn someone down. I just say no. They say I’m mean. I say “How would I turn you down nicely?”
Back to him, HE SAW A CUTE GIRL AND GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY?
You think? I’m sure she’s frightened for her life now. It was a sign to get women everywhere to take self defense courses. I mean that would scare me! Jeez.
I just read his LJ. I take back whatever I said upthread.
Word. Duct tape. A joke about duct tape. That’s all I need to know.
Apparently he’s claiming now that the duct tape was for the flyers.
Uh huh.
Ew.
For the first few posts, he sounded like my daughter’s bio-dad, which is quite bad enough. Then I read further, and realised he was worse.
I don’t think he’s a well man either, junk science, but my reaction to people who seem mentally ill is usually “they should see a mental health professional and get some help” rather than “they shouldn’t be running around loose”.
Unfortunately, certain mentally ill people require a higher level that almost always include hospitalisation. He definately has some boundary issues that need to be addressed.
This fuckwit was running around with frickin’ DUCT TAPE looking for the woman he’s been STALKING. That alone makes me think that he’s a fucking danger.
So. . .he rapes her, or maybe “just” continues to harass and stalk her (wheeee! No big deal!), and then she’s blamed for running around loose, since we all know that the onus is on women to avoid being stalked, harassed, and raped. You know–stay indoors avoid contact with people if you don’t want to deal with that.
But I don’t agree that he’s mentally ill. I think his problem is an overinflated sense of entitlement, which is all too common. The fact is, he’s got plenty of defenders who insist he’s just an inept romantic who has every right to pull this shit (and that the beatches who don’t appreciate his actions are hysterical). There is far too much of this attitude–it’s not mental illness, it’s misogynist entitlement, period, full stop.
The fact is, he’s got plenty of defenders who insist he’s just an inept romantic who has every right to pull this shit (and that the beatches who don’t appreciate his actions are hysterical).
Now that shit is just fucking weird. I don’t get people who would defend this guy any more than I get rape apologists, because I doubt most of them would even want to do something like this themselves. I think they’re probably immature idiots who like saying outrageous shit to rile women up.
We hospitalise people to treat them, not to keep them away from society. If you think this dude should be locked up, focus on the illegality and anti-social nature of what he’s doing and propose that he be put in jail. To operate on a presumption of “He seems crazy, let’s put him in hospital for the good of everyone else” is downright offensive to those of us who are non-neurotypical.
That kind of language may be socially acceptable, but that doesn’t make it any less bigoted.