A nice, confident man. No quote marks. That’s the ticket.

I thought we knew that already.

Well. They do.

Next question.

Not naming names, but I don’t see why we’re debating whether or not there’s a certain type of behavior guaranteed to get girls, or whether women are arbitrary and if so, if they’re allowed to be, when we first need to settle whether or not women even exist.

I heard a report that somebody claimed to have found a gene for shyness. That would be interesting. Apparently, says the practitioner, there are things you can do, if that’s the case, to ameliorate the results, although you’ll never be the life of the party.

I suspect the majority of the shy people we meet are shy of first moves. If that is overcome in some fashion, things might go reasonably well.

BTW. I read a few of the most recent comments at Pandagon and discovered they are misrepesenting what I said. Apparently they do better with arguments they make up than they do with the arguments presented to them.

Rejection. Unpleasant. Therefore behaviors which look to be rejected (trying to get to know shy people) are avoided.

Sounds like normal. Avoid pain.

However, it occurs to me that any effort to get to know a shy person–like making the first move–would either generate a reasonable interchange which might go on from there, or a pathetically grateful explosion of clinginess. But I don’t see rejection as a likely response. Has that been your experience?

Shy people don’t get attention because it’s hard to get to know them. It has nothing to do with gender or “behavioral reasoning.” It’s intimidating to approach a person who doesn’t act interested, because no one likes to be rejected. It’s really quite simple, and requires no unfounded generalizing about either sex.

What does one have to do to earn your valuable respect? Does this require obedience to all your espoused views. I mean give me a break, in the grand scheme of things, regardless of what you may think of me, I am not that ‘far’ ideologically away from you, and if you aren’t going to treat me with respect, and you are in any way representative of the central advocats of feminism, then we might as well just kiss goodbye ever changing people’s minds. Because you know, the mainstream world might like to be treated with some respect as you attempt to describe why the world they live in is drastically different than they perceive it to be.

You want to know how to earn my respect? Don’t whine about being disrespected, and don’t do the concern-troll thing. You’re only about the hundredth guy who’s told me that if I don’t coddle him and tone down the anger, I’ll lose all my mainstream support. Don’t act like I’m only giving you a hard time because you dared to disagree with me rather than because you have steadfastly maintained that I have said things I haven’t or that I didn’t cover issues that I did.

As you could tell if you read my post I completely agree with you, but I also think that there is more at play when guys look around and DO see incentives to being an ‘asshole’. But this is not a worthy topic. OK sure.

What’s so interesting about it? It’s not like we don’t know what causes it, an outsized sense of entitlement encouraged by the patriarchy. The guys you seem to think are just nice guys, no caps or quotes, who have this very interesting transformation into assholes who see women as chess pieces, were assholes all along.