Here at feministe, we consider commenter service to be our highest goal. Kyra suggested the following in comments to Jill’s post about language, and we think it’s a super idea!
Hey, Jill? Ever consider having a contest to see who could come up with the most creative and insulting insult for Ann Coulter without insulting a race, gender, or other group along the way?
Go nuts, feministas!
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As a next step after this post, I propose we look for a new meaning for “coulter”, a la Dan Savage’s “santorum” contest.
Well, I’ve always thought she looks like she eats whole live baby mice like the aliens from that 80s tv show “V”. Like her face rips off and there’s a lizard face underneath and she could swallow a whole bunny or something. Not sure if that’s particularly creative.
Cross-posting from the other thread, here’s my entry in the Coulter contest:
soulless, self-promoting waxwork media rep for the hate-speech wing of movement conservatism.
To ‘coulter’ = to kick this puppy. (Thank you Cute Overload).
I think any entry based on Coulter’s looks should be disqualified. But I like the definition “to coulter.”
HF, I wasn’t referring to her looks as “waxwork.” I was referring her essential fakeness. She is all facade, a deliberate media caricature. She comes across as a fake, a poser, a charlatan and a purveyor of snake-oil, because she is. I don’t think she’s a true believer. I think it’s all a game and she’s picked a team and carved out a marketing niche. She’s decided that what she does now is less work and more fame than she could have acheived practicing law, and nets her decent money.
Yeah, I wasn’t wanting to refer to her looks so much either but rather the bunny-eating twinkle in her eye…
i don’t find her very interesting.
I think that is pretty much the most devastating thing to her ears. Well that and I don’t plan on buying or reading any of her books.
Hmm. As much as I like the string-of-adjective tirades (and don’t you just feel so much better after one?) I don’t think they’ll catch on. Too hard to remember, and all.
So, in the name of brevity, how ’bout Hatepuppet?
Feministe t-shirt* to the first person to come up with an Anncronym!
I kind of like that.
*Does not actually exist.
Well, there’s a problem.
Damn you, piny! I had a draft of this very idea all ready to go, but then I had to go do actual work.
The character’s name was Diana. That’s as good a name as any for her.
Maybe George Carlin will come up with something good.
Can we insult fictional races? Because her personality screams Romulan.
She’s Ann Coulter — isn’t that insult enough?
I dunno. I’ve always thought that geeky insults say more about the speaker than the target.
Personally, though, I’d go with Dalek.
This is a good point. Instead of pushing “Coulter” as slang for some scatalogical act or another, can we make it synonymous with making illogical arguments to support a self-serving position without basis in fact?
That’s a pretty good point, Dustin. She’s beyond insults. When bloggers and op-ed writers started calling other people and policies “Coulteresque”, she BECAME the insult.
Still, that’s kind of unsatisfying, because the cons don’t accept it as an insult. Sadly, the only things they accept as insults are racist, sexist, and heterosexist slurs. Oh, and Hitler/Nazi comparisons, but if you pull one of those (no matter how apt) they quickly become very solemn and somehow make you into the villain. ARG.
Damn… IMO, may I suggest Davros, since he was their leader… Someone shout “Nerd!” at me please.
Anyways, my 2 cents: create some sort of love-child between Tom Petty, Geddy Lee, and any heroin-addled “model” from the 70’s, and you’ve got her
Now that she’s lawyered up over the voting-in-two districts thing, may I suggest “the Defendant”?
Voter Fraud Annie? (Dimunitive forms add a certain dismissiveness)
Two-ballot Annie?
How about the
WORLD’S FIRST HATEMONGERING MEATBAG?
as stated in a deep voice similar to that of a ringmaster/mistress at a circus…
My entry:
“God… she’s just like… Anne Coulter”
I think that’s just about the worst thing I could say about anyone.
sorry for re insulting, forgive me Dustin. Man… now I feel like such an Ann Coulter.
Anne Who? Dunno, never heard of her.
Nah, she’s not the first. The hatemongering meatbag field is a crowded one.
How about “that moron who cited obituaries of women named Selma as examples of over-reporting of the Selma march”?
OH, SNAP.
That one wins.
How about “that moron who cited obituaries of women named Selma as examples of over-reporting of the Selma march”?
Thomas, please tell me you’re kidding.
By the way, this Ann Cooper person? I’ve never heard of her. Are you sure she’s on TV? Sorry, I mean Ann Carter. It’s just hard to remember the correct last name of a non-entity of whom I’ve never heard.*
* What she hates most is irrelevance and lack of fame. Five years from now she’ll probably be doing infomercials just to prove that she’s still an important person.
“It slices, it dices, it shreds those incriminating voter registration cards in seconds!”
RCG, I suspect that you’re right. She clearly chose fame-and-lifestyle over hard work and buckets of money. She worked at a big firm and she had huge financial upside potential. She chose to go be famous for saying nasty things instead, and when that turns out to have an early expiration date, I suspect she’ll be bitter.
And, oh yes she did. That’s one of the most famous howlers in her book “Slander,” which the MSM said was heavily footnoted. It was footnoted with references to bullshit! She said at page 199 of Slander that the NYT ran more than a hundred articles about the Selma march. A Nexis search result for the word “Selma” does indeed inlcude almost 800 hits for Selma, more than half obits, and a collection of references to Selma, California, or to Selma, Alabama that did not involve the Civil Rights Movement. There were less than a hundered references to the march, and only 16 articles that were really about it. See This. If an opponent in litigation made that mistake, they would have to apologize to the Court and bend over backwards saying it was an honest mistake and not an attempt to mislead the Court. Since Ann is not responsible (to anyone, or just in general), she’s more comfortable in a business where she can simply make shit up and ignore it when she gets caught.
BTW, Teh Internets is not giving me the name of the firm she worked for. I had thought it was Wachtell, but that was another one of the Paula Jones elves. None of the bios I found say — they just say she was in private practice for four years. Anyone know?
I’ve spent YEARS trying to get the nickname “fascist Barbie” to stick to her. Please help me here.
Emerson had the best line that applies to her: Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
I think an appelation using the word “vomit” would be appropriate. SOmething like “Vomitbag”. Vomitbag of Hate? Hate-Spewing Vomit BAg?
(Barf Bag is too gentle).
Vomit Queen?
(It does need to be short.)
Vomitbag is the best I can think of this second.
Something referring to her insanity would be good too.
I think Ann Coulter is a Poo Streudel.
Plagiarist.
The court jester who absolutely refuses to leave
Jay Leno has Coulter on his show tonight, and last night he said that security would be really tight for her visit. There will even be restricted airspace over the studio, because “we’re afraid Dorothy’s house will fall on her.”
well, she is to me ann ARISTOCRAT from europe ,also for the inbreeding,and the joke….
The longest-running parody of a right-winger in history. The General is second, but he gives too many winks to the audience.
Repoted from a Panda rant:
She is the Fourth Horseman of the Apocolypse in a dress. She is a pestilence on the land. She should be milked daily for her venom. She should be cast into outer darkness to wail and gnash her teeth. She should marry a proctologist because she’s a perfect asshole. She’s a putrefied, pustulant, pestiferous, pernicious, perfidious Philistine. She’s a graduate of the Grinch School of Charm and Diction.
There now, I fell ever so much better.
(Now I feel better all over again)
Ann Coulter’s problems stem from the day she was bitten by an escaped germ warfare lab monkey, which died immediately afterward.
Can we just call her a terrible liar? I’d think she’d be really offended by that, seeing as how lying is her profession and she continually fails at it.
I vote against making her last name synonymous with something as vile as she is since other innocent folk share her last name. Collateral damage, people!
Vomit Viper?
“Fascist Barbie” is good … how about The Brown Shirt Barbie?
I like it!
Ann Coulter’s books are treason, slander and godless. Coincidentally, that’s also their titles.
with inspiration from Avedon Carol
I think the worst thing people can do if they don’t like Coulter is to simply ignore her. She is senile. All of this attention is exactly what she wants and what she feeds off of.
Ann coulter is to life what a vaccum cleaner is to dust
Wow.
*feels special* *and happy*
Well, I put my entry in the last thread: Hate-filled, sadistic, hurtful, bigoted, contemptuous, narrow-minded, illogical, unreasoning, right-wing drone.
Thomas’s “soulless” is spectacular, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. Ditto Plucky Punk’s definition, minus the “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it,” which I wouldn’t have—every bit as accurately descriptive as “santorum.” Lemme see, what else do I like . . . Jiggavegas’s “hatepuppet,” definitely, and “bunny-eating twinkle in her eye…” (Plucky Punk is in the lead so far*)
*I do not mean to imply that I am an official judge of this contest. However, I always feel happy when somebody compliments my comments, so I’ll return the favor.
Oooh! Dennis gets a . . . some kind of virtual cookie or something from me for
simply because of the Star Trek reference—and I am of the opinion that such a thing is more of a cultural insult than a racial one, as the Romulans’ grating personalities are almost certainly a result of their upbringing (just as racism in the Old South, for example). I know of no particular Romulan examples to back up this theory, but some Klingons and Cardassians and one human raised by some nasty patriarchal alien culture. She does remind me of a Romulan among Klingons (who share a fierce racial hatred going back centuries), although my first impression was that of a Klingon among Romulans—cancel that. Klingons have honor.
How about “the anti-Vulcan?” Because they are very very logical and she is . . . not.
But anyway . . . J. Mo’s “Poo strudel.” Delightful. Goes well with santorum, especially with the remains of Bush’s “mandate” swallowing both down like so many toilets . . . Allison, “It slices, it dices, it shreds those incriminating voter registration cards in seconds!” = me choking on my Mountain Dew. Kudos to Jay Leno, and Rex Little for sharing it (I missed it last night)—how much does anybody want to bet that she tries to rip Jay a new one for making fun of her?
Magis, regarding “She is the Fourth Horseman of the Apocolypse in a dress,” who are the other three? I’m guessing Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps, and Jerry Falwell, but then there’s Rick Santorum, Dubya, Cheney, Phyllis Schlafly, and that pissworm from the Ohio State Legislature who said “I am 100% pro life” to explain why he sponsored an abortion ban with no exceptions for the mother’s life. . . Wait. Cancel Dubya. He’d fall off the horse.
Chris Clarke and “Ann Coulter’s problems stem from the day she was bitten by an escaped germ warfare lab monkey, which died immediately afterward,” I wouldn’t be surprised. Did the monkey die of biological weapons or indigestion?
Kathy McCartney, Magis, Ball Game, & Piny, having considered your collaborative efforts, I recommend “brown-shirt vomit viper.” Adding Karen’s suggestion, I respond with “Blitzkreig Barbie?”
And, finally, regarding Lis Riba’s “Ann Coulter’s books are treason, slander and godless. Coincidentally, that’s also their titles,” hey. Truth in advertising, no? Just like a can labelled “canned peaches” generally contains canned peaches, she has very helpfully labelled each book with what it contains.
Didn’t she at some point tell some or other reporters that they should stop trying to talk to liberals and attack them with baseball bats instead? I can’t remember whether that was real or a Daily Show or Saturday Night Live joke. Sounds like something she would say—maybe she was tired out after writing How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must).
OK, I’ll shut up now.
Meh. Until I started reading American blogs, I didn’t know who she was.
I wish I could bottle the Aussie lack of interest in her and send it to you guys. You could ambush her and pour it over her head, leaving her drenched in total lack of interest.
Or sell it on ebay. Whatever.
“trophy bilebag”
I think Blitzkrieg Barbie won.
I tend to agree. That’s why I almost never post about her bouts of oral diarrhea
How ’bout: “coathanger of the intellect”?
It doubles as a reference to her slenderness, and as a metaphor.
I might have went too far, though…
Coulter: Pretending People Care What She Thinks Since *whatever year*
Seriously, Fascist Barbie is the best suggestion so far, it totally sums up her hilariously unrealistic and distorted plastic world. I think another fun game would be naming the accessories that she would come with. Probably a chastity ring and a box of moral outrage and inappropriate replies.
Another Needless Neocon Columnist Offers Us Lazy, Tedious, Erronious Rants.
That’s okay, it probably wouldn’t have fit me. :-P
Wait, that should have been:
Another Needless Neo-Con Offers Underhanded Lies & Tedious, Erroneous Rants.
And another one…
Ann’s Neverending Nastiness, Cruelty, Offensive Utterances, & Lying Titillates Every Rightwinger.
For some reason I’m in the mood for this right now… :-)
I don’t mean to break up the fun, but isn’t “Barbie” something of a gender-based slur?
“the toxic sludgebot”
“Undead Nazi Sorority Girl”
“let’s not call her anything, let’s just ignore her”
“Miz Goddam Aren’t Your Fifteen Minutes Up *Yet?!?*”
“Coultergeist”
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