Greatest Narcissistic Procrastination Tool EVER

via Gawker comes the most fun I’ve had all morning: A face recognition program that evaluates your photo and tells you which celebrity you look like.

So now, it’s celebrity-look-alike time, blogger edition:

Yours truly:
Jessica jill

Our Leader:
sharon lauren

Daily Kos:
toni kos

Arianna Huffington:
huff arianna

Dawn Eden:
paris dawn

Dawn Eden 2:
richard dawn2

Hugh Hewitt:
ted hugh

Jeff Goldstein:
che jeff

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45 comments for “Greatest Narcissistic Procrastination Tool EVER

  1. June 30, 2006 at 6:42 am

    Oh. My. God.

  2. June 30, 2006 at 6:45 am

    I considered doing your picture, Mikey (or should I say Tim Roth?), but decided against it because you post anonymously on Heartbreaking. However, with your permission…

  3. Modern Major-General
    June 30, 2006 at 7:00 am

    That thing’s hilarious. I wish I had better pictures of myself, but I got Lloyd Bridges, Pope Jean Paul I, Ben Afleck, Jack Dempsey, and Jeniffer Love Hewitt (must be the hair).

  4. June 30, 2006 at 7:19 am

    Adam Ant & Johnny Depp.

    I’ll take that.

  5. Letty
    June 30, 2006 at 7:32 am

    This is hilarious. I tried three pictures, and the only two they had in common every time were Sharon Stone and… Art Garfunkel (???).
    Of course I’m a deadringer for Sharon, but Art Garfunkel… :-)

  6. June 30, 2006 at 7:48 am

    Jill –
    Since I’m at work, I can’t do it myself. You thus have my permission.
    That said, when I get home, I’m gonna game that system with various photos of me until I get a celebrity I can live with. I’ve been getting Jake Gyllenhaal a lot lately. (Here that, ladies?)

  7. June 30, 2006 at 7:49 am

    Wait a minute! Tim Roth?

  8. June 30, 2006 at 8:54 am

    Wait a minute! Tim Roth?

    The facial recognition program doesn’t lie…

  9. Fat Doug Lover
    June 30, 2006 at 8:54 am


  10. June 30, 2006 at 9:07 am

    Easy for you to say. You didn’t get Tim Roth.

    When I get home, I’m gonna put pictures of you on that thing until you get Steve Buschemi.

  11. June 30, 2006 at 9:15 am

    Apparently the face recognition program detected the utter emptiness common to both Hilton and Eden. And that other thing I can’t mention in public.

  12. June 30, 2006 at 9:17 am

    Actually, I think the last time I used this program I got Maria Callas.

  13. June 30, 2006 at 9:23 am

    I got Sheryl Crow and Andie McDowell, but IRL, I usually get Sigourney Weaver when my hair is redder and Alanis Morrissette when it’s my natural dark brown.

  14. June 30, 2006 at 9:30 am

    I guess it’s kinda sad that I recognize more of the bloggers from their pictures than I do the celebrities. 5 bloggers, 4 celebrities. I have no idea who Jill, Lauren, arianna or the second dawn eden are supposed to look like.

    by the way, I got patrick swayze.

  15. Mikey S
    June 30, 2006 at 9:52 am

    I got Ashton Kutcher a few times, and then once Hermione Granger (Emma Watson). And yeah, can you run us down the list of celebrities there? I barely recognize them. I suck at pop culture.

  16. June 30, 2006 at 9:55 am

    Why all the hating on Tim Roth? After all, this is the man that said in Reservoir Dogs:

    Mr. Orange: You’re not blind, you’ve just got blood in your eyes.

  17. Grace
    June 30, 2006 at 10:27 am

    Don’t feel bad about Tim Roth. I got Bette Davis and Penelope Cruz, and frankly I have no idea how either of those happened. My husband got Tennessee Williams (wtf?) and Gene Kelley.

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  19. Beylita
    June 30, 2006 at 10:57 am

    Grrr. It wanted me to sign up in order to see the results, and it recognized that is not my valid email address.

  20. B Moe
    June 30, 2006 at 11:11 am

    I got Alexander Borodin.

    Who the hell is Alexander Borodin?

  21. June 30, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Who is Huff supposed to look like?

    Jedmunds, I apparently look like Sharon Stone. I used to get that comparison when I was younger and she was in her Basic Instinct days. Which is, you know, ew. Because I was fourteen.

  22. June 30, 2006 at 11:21 am

    I got Arthur Conan Doyle. Elementary, my dear Watson!

  23. June 30, 2006 at 11:37 am

    Who is Huff supposed to look like?

    The girl from Smallville, I don’t know her name. And I only know who she is because my college boyfriend was in love with her.

  24. June 30, 2006 at 11:46 am

    Smallville is for tools.

    Bring it.

  25. June 30, 2006 at 11:51 am

    I agree. It was his crush, not mine.

  26. June 30, 2006 at 12:05 pm


    Hopefully your current boyfriend is in love with you.

    It says I look like Ali Eteraz.

  27. June 30, 2006 at 12:41 pm

    lauren, that’s what I would’ve guessed if I had to. it was the only one of the ones I didn’t know that I’d be able to hazard a guess for.

    and well yeah, when you were 14. like the derb sez, you’re all used up now. so was that old hag in basic instinct.

    on another picture, I got kiefer sutherland. I used to have such a boy-crush on kiefer. He was such a bad-ass in the lost boys.

    and I disagree with eteraz, jill should get rid of that pesky boyfriend.

  28. randomliberal/Robert
    June 30, 2006 at 1:32 pm

    Uh yeah, the only ones i know from up there are Toni Morrison, Ted Turner, and Che. And Paris, but it took someone saying who that was.

    As for me, i used four different pictures and got only two people to come up more than once: Michael Ballack and…Sania Mirza? Oohhhhbe kaybe.

  29. June 30, 2006 at 2:09 pm

    I’m embarrassed to say that the only celebrity I recognized was Che.

  30. piny
    June 30, 2006 at 2:09 pm

    I’m embarrassed to say that the only celebrity I recognized was Che.

    That could be the opposite of embarrassing. I’m sure there are a few people out there who would state that as a matter of pride.

  31. piny
    June 30, 2006 at 2:21 pm

    Speaking of Tim Roth, what is it with imdb and their insistence on posting the least attractive celebrity picture available? Seriously, he looks like Greta Van Susteren testing to see if the numbness is receding.

  32. piny
    June 30, 2006 at 2:22 pm
  33. June 30, 2006 at 2:27 pm

    kristin kreuk of smallville. good taste.

  34. June 30, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Ha, I win. I got Kareena Kapoor.

  35. June 30, 2006 at 6:31 pm

    I guess it’s kinda sad that I recognize more of the bloggers from their pictures than I do the celebrities. 5 bloggers, 4 celebrities. I have no idea who Jill, Lauren, arianna or the second dawn eden are supposed to look like.

    by the way, I got patrick swayze.

    Well, I ran you through and got Golda Meir. Results at Pandagon.

  36. lavalamp
    June 30, 2006 at 6:32 pm

    by the way, I got patrick swayze.

    whatever you say, golda

  37. Jeff
    June 30, 2006 at 8:05 pm

    I’m embarrassed to say that the only celebrity I recognized was Che.

    Ditto. Recognized three of the bloggers (Kos and our gracious hosts).

  38. zuzu
    June 30, 2006 at 9:02 pm

    Am I the only one who can’t get into the site now? It keeps telling me they have heavy traffic.

  39. evil_fizz
    June 30, 2006 at 9:23 pm

    Damnit, I can’t either, zuzu. It suggests I wait an hour or two.

  40. July 1, 2006 at 12:21 am

    I got a 58% match with Robert Redford, a nice thought — and then a 56% with Kim Basinger.

  41. zuzu
    July 1, 2006 at 10:20 am

    FINALLY got in.

    And… Sarah Vaughn?

    And Grace Kelly, Brigitte Bardot, Aaliyah, Jennifer Lopez and Rudolph Valentino.

    I think it’s the pose.

    OK, trying another, from the front…

    Juliette Lewis. That one I can see. Though Alan Turing is in the mix there, and I don’t get that at all.

  42. July 1, 2006 at 4:19 pm

    That was hilarious! When I put in the pic from my ID tag, I got Malcolm X, Bruce Lee, and Steven Spielberg. The tinfoil hat picture was the best though, I got Yoko Ono, Al Gore, Rosa Luxembourg, Keanu Reeves, and the His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Another pic with my new glasses & a fluffier haircut? Harvey Keitel, Noam Chomsky, and Elvis Costello.WTF?

  43. Marksman2000
    July 1, 2006 at 5:39 pm

    It says John Holmes…

    Cripes! I think I put through the wrong picture.

  44. July 2, 2006 at 7:07 am

    Yeah, I did this a few months back, and got the first three matches as women, then a Chinese dude [I’m caucasian].

    This program is quite obviously fooled by camera angle and facial expression, rather than a good program based only on proportions and curvatures.

    That said, Jill is purty…but, my face matched with other pretty women, so I’m not sure which of us would win a beauty contest ;)

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