Greatest Narcissistic Procrastination Tool EVER

via Gawker comes the most fun I’ve had all morning: A face recognition program that evaluates your photo and tells you which celebrity you look like.

So now, it’s celebrity-look-alike time, blogger edition:

Yours truly:
Jessica jill

Our Leader:
sharon lauren

Daily Kos:
toni kos

Arianna Huffington:
huff arianna

Dawn Eden:
paris dawn

Dawn Eden 2:
richard dawn2

Hugh Hewitt:
ted hugh

Jeff Goldstein:
che jeff

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About Jill

Jill began blogging for Feministe in 2005. She has since written as a weekly columnist for the Guardian newspaper and in April 2014 she was appointed as senior political writer for Cosmopolitan magazine.
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45 Responses to Greatest Narcissistic Procrastination Tool EVER

  1. mikey says:

    Oh. My. God.

  2. Jill says:

    I considered doing your picture, Mikey (or should I say Tim Roth?), but decided against it because you post anonymously on Heartbreaking. However, with your permission…

  3. Modern Major-General says:

    That thing’s hilarious. I wish I had better pictures of myself, but I got Lloyd Bridges, Pope Jean Paul I, Ben Afleck, Jack Dempsey, and Jeniffer Love Hewitt (must be the hair).

  4. Adam Ant & Johnny Depp.

    I’ll take that.

  5. Letty says:

    This is hilarious. I tried three pictures, and the only two they had in common every time were Sharon Stone and… Art Garfunkel (???).
    Of course I’m a deadringer for Sharon, but Art Garfunkel… :-)

  6. mikey says:

    Jill –
    Since I’m at work, I can’t do it myself. You thus have my permission.
    That said, when I get home, I’m gonna game that system with various photos of me until I get a celebrity I can live with. I’ve been getting Jake Gyllenhaal a lot lately. (Here that, ladies?)

  7. mikey says:

    Wait a minute! Tim Roth?

  8. Jill says:

    Wait a minute! Tim Roth?

    The facial recognition program doesn’t lie…

  9. Fat Doug Lover says:


  10. mikey says:

    Easy for you to say. You didn’t get Tim Roth.

    When I get home, I’m gonna put pictures of you on that thing until you get Steve Buschemi.

  11. Lauren says:

    Apparently the face recognition program detected the utter emptiness common to both Hilton and Eden. And that other thing I can’t mention in public.

  12. Lauren says:

    Actually, I think the last time I used this program I got Maria Callas.

  13. Lesley says:

    I got Sheryl Crow and Andie McDowell, but IRL, I usually get Sigourney Weaver when my hair is redder and Alanis Morrissette when it’s my natural dark brown.

  14. jedmunds says:

    I guess it’s kinda sad that I recognize more of the bloggers from their pictures than I do the celebrities. 5 bloggers, 4 celebrities. I have no idea who Jill, Lauren, arianna or the second dawn eden are supposed to look like.

    by the way, I got patrick swayze.

  15. Mikey S says:

    I got Ashton Kutcher a few times, and then once Hermione Granger (Emma Watson). And yeah, can you run us down the list of celebrities there? I barely recognize them. I suck at pop culture.

  16. Neil says:

    Why all the hating on Tim Roth? After all, this is the man that said in Reservoir Dogs:

    Mr. Orange: You’re not blind, you’ve just got blood in your eyes.

  17. Grace says:

    Don’t feel bad about Tim Roth. I got Bette Davis and Penelope Cruz, and frankly I have no idea how either of those happened. My husband got Tennessee Williams (wtf?) and Gene Kelley.

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  19. Beylita says:

    Grrr. It wanted me to sign up in order to see the results, and it recognized that is not my valid email address.

  20. B Moe says:

    I got Alexander Borodin.

    Who the hell is Alexander Borodin?

  21. Lauren says:

    Who is Huff supposed to look like?

    Jedmunds, I apparently look like Sharon Stone. I used to get that comparison when I was younger and she was in her Basic Instinct days. Which is, you know, ew. Because I was fourteen.

  22. McGehee says:

    I got Arthur Conan Doyle. Elementary, my dear Watson!

  23. Jill says:

    Who is Huff supposed to look like?

    The girl from Smallville, I don’t know her name. And I only know who she is because my college boyfriend was in love with her.

  24. Lauren says:

    Smallville is for tools.

    Bring it.

  25. Jill says:

    I agree. It was his crush, not mine.

  26. eteraz says:


    Hopefully your current boyfriend is in love with you.

    It says I look like Ali Eteraz.

  27. jedmunds says:

    lauren, that’s what I would’ve guessed if I had to. it was the only one of the ones I didn’t know that I’d be able to hazard a guess for.

    and well yeah, when you were 14. like the derb sez, you’re all used up now. so was that old hag in basic instinct.

    on another picture, I got kiefer sutherland. I used to have such a boy-crush on kiefer. He was such a bad-ass in the lost boys.

    and I disagree with eteraz, jill should get rid of that pesky boyfriend.

  28. randomliberal/Robert says:

    Uh yeah, the only ones i know from up there are Toni Morrison, Ted Turner, and Che. And Paris, but it took someone saying who that was.

    As for me, i used four different pictures and got only two people to come up more than once: Michael Ballack and…Sania Mirza? Oohhhhbe kaybe.

  29. I’m embarrassed to say that the only celebrity I recognized was Che.

  30. piny says:

    I’m embarrassed to say that the only celebrity I recognized was Che.

    That could be the opposite of embarrassing. I’m sure there are a few people out there who would state that as a matter of pride.

  31. piny says:

    Speaking of Tim Roth, what is it with imdb and their insistence on posting the least attractive celebrity picture available? Seriously, he looks like Greta Van Susteren testing to see if the numbness is receding.

  32. mikey says:

    kristin kreuk of smallville. good taste.

  33. little light says:

    Ha, I win. I got Kareena Kapoor.

  34. I guess it’s kinda sad that I recognize more of the bloggers from their pictures than I do the celebrities. 5 bloggers, 4 celebrities. I have no idea who Jill, Lauren, arianna or the second dawn eden are supposed to look like.

    by the way, I got patrick swayze.

    Well, I ran you through and got Golda Meir. Results at Pandagon.

  35. lavalamp says:

    by the way, I got patrick swayze.

    whatever you say, golda

  36. Jeff says:

    I’m embarrassed to say that the only celebrity I recognized was Che.

    Ditto. Recognized three of the bloggers (Kos and our gracious hosts).

  37. zuzu says:

    Am I the only one who can’t get into the site now? It keeps telling me they have heavy traffic.

  38. evil_fizz says:

    Damnit, I can’t either, zuzu. It suggests I wait an hour or two.

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  40. Hugo says:

    I got a 58% match with Robert Redford, a nice thought — and then a 56% with Kim Basinger.

  41. zuzu says:

    FINALLY got in.

    And… Sarah Vaughn?

    And Grace Kelly, Brigitte Bardot, Aaliyah, Jennifer Lopez and Rudolph Valentino.

    I think it’s the pose.

    OK, trying another, from the front…

    Juliette Lewis. That one I can see. Though Alan Turing is in the mix there, and I don’t get that at all.

  42. alphabitch says:

    That was hilarious! When I put in the pic from my ID tag, I got Malcolm X, Bruce Lee, and Steven Spielberg. The tinfoil hat picture was the best though, I got Yoko Ono, Al Gore, Rosa Luxembourg, Keanu Reeves, and the His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Another pic with my new glasses & a fluffier haircut? Harvey Keitel, Noam Chomsky, and Elvis Costello.WTF?

  43. Marksman2000 says:

    It says John Holmes…

    Cripes! I think I put through the wrong picture.

  44. Yeah, I did this a few months back, and got the first three matches as women, then a Chinese dude [I’m caucasian].

    This program is quite obviously fooled by camera angle and facial expression, rather than a good program based only on proportions and curvatures.

    That said, Jill is purty…but, my face matched with other pretty women, so I’m not sure which of us would win a beauty contest ;)

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