You all know my feelings about Slate’s new Prudie. But contrary to rumors that the old Prudie died, she is in fact alive and well — and writing an advice column called Dear Margo. Slate readers, here’s what you’re missing:
DEAR MARGO: I am a 38-year-old successful female who is emotionally and financially secure. I have been told that I am very attractive and intimidate men. I would like to get married but am thought to be too independent.
In the past, I just thought that these men were needy. However, I was having a group discussion in mixed company where a man said it seems like women don’t need men anymore.
I feel as though women were forced to become independent and support themselves. Now, men seem to be threatened by our success. Do I need to act like I “need” men to find my soulmate? I abhor needy females, yet I do want to share my life with someone with the ultimate goal of getting married and perhaps having children.
What is ironic is that I would walk away from my career for the right man and situation. In many ways, I feel like I would rather be alone than have to acquiesce to a man’s ego. — MS. INDEPENDENT
Maureen Dowd, is that you?
Margo responds:
DEAR MS.: As to your question of whether women need men, some do . . . some don’t. I will tell you this: You, me and countless other women have been considered “intimidating,” but only to a certain kind of man.
As for putting on the persona of someone who “needs” a man, don’t try to act the part of a submissive, subordinate cupcake; it is too hard, and you would become disgusted with yourself.
Believe it or not, there are many men who cannot function with a clinging vine. Trust me, there are men out there whose personalities are complementary to yours. — Margo, autonomously
No sister-shaming! No underestimating or insulting all men! Practical, logical, helpful!
I think I’ll be skipping Dear Prudie in favor of Dear Margo from now on.
Yep. I love Margo Howard.
She’s great. I once emailed her when I had an issue with one of her answers (when she was Dear Prudie), and she emailed me back within an hour with her rationale. She really seems to think through her answers to people.
I’m trying to imagine what the new Prudie would say. Perhaps something like:
Maybe if you stopped being so caustic, judging men to be intimidated by you before you even give them a chance, you would be able to find a husband. But you better hurry! You’re 38, and your biological clock is ticking. Don’t let your closemindedness keep you from missing out on the only real joy a woman can have: child rearing.
No, she’d say, “Maybe if you’d play down your success, men wouldn’t feel so intimidated and you could find yourself a husband. After all, you don’t want to be lonely. The older you get, the harder it is to find a husband, so you’d better tone it down and get on it now before your eggs expire.”
She’ll add the “fact” that its is statistically more likely that she is the victim of a terrorist attack than it is that she’ll get arried, now she has passed her last sell date!
At first, the new Prudie was making a pretty good impression on me, but ever since the “you’re wrong about not wanting children so get to breeding” column she’s been spiraling downward into some bizarre IWF territory.
But yeah, the old Prudie rocks.
I don’t read Slate, so I missed the Prudie switch-out. Isn’t Slate a lib read? Why do they allow such a drag on woman to purge her venom on their site? I should ask the Slate people, I know I know.
I guess I’d go one further and ask why marriage is so important anyway, given that marriage was an insitution for making offspring and keeping women in forced bondage. I’d offer that the best we can hope for is to have a few good friends and relationships in this lifetime and when we’re self sufficient we don’t need contracts on them.
But I guess that would be my last advice column published anywhere.
kate, did you read Scott Lemieux’s article on ostensibly liberal male pundits who want to throw women under the bus on abortion to win elections (or, rather, to make a play for the kind of people who they think would vote for candidates who throw women under the bus)? Many of them are published in Slate.
Dear Margo is much better than the new Dear Prudie, but I was disappointed by her answer to a 15-year old boy whose dad won’t allow his stepmom to wear a bra and forces her to wear revealing clothing every time they go out. Margo basically said that it’s too bad but it’s not the boy’s problem–ignoring the obvious undertones of control and abuse in the relationship. It’s true that the boy can’t do much about it, but Margo should have at least offered him support (no bra-related pun intended), given him resources to turn to in case his father abuses him as well–which seems likely. How did she miss that?!
Seems like my link didn’t work…I’ll try it again:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/dear_margo/20060707/en_dm/margo_howard20060707
I didn’t really know what to make of the bra advice. The kid’s fifteen years old, and if the dad is controlling and abusive enough to dictate whether or not his wife can wear a bra, then I’d be a little worried at what he would do to the kid for defying him and supporting his stepmom. She gave lipservice to the controlling and abuse, but I think that she had to be a bit more pragmatic and understand that as the only indicator of abuse, “he won’t let her wear a bra” isn’t going to fly far when attempting to seek outside support.