Well, it never pays to underestimate the power of the internet. Gawker has the unflattering angle you were all looking for. Thanks (I think) to Chris for emailing the link.

Mariko finds that her partner has taken her secret fantasies to heart and arrnged for their friends to spend the night pleasuring her. Only it is not all pleasure for her.

Archie was pacing around the room and contemplating his next move. He thought of fingering her, putting clamps on her nipples, or just slamming her with a dildo. Instead he put her on her knees, with her hands tied behind her back; her head was resting on

\”Please be quiet,\” James says. We\’re surrounded on all sides by mothers and children.

These statistics make a lot of sense to me and I don’t think they justify parental notification laws – and certainly not CCPA – because a small number of teens don’t fear abuse and don’t tell their parents. The reality is, once you hit 15, 16, 17, you may not get everything right, but you do know better than the government what your family can or cannot handle.

A friend of mine had an abortion at 17. She didn’t tell her parents because her mo had recently been committed to a psych unit. She knew it was too much for her dad to handle, even though she knew he’d have supported her decision either way. And older relative helped her find an abortion provider. When my sister was 18, she got pregnant following a birth control failure and she did tell our mom, even though she was legally an adult. Our mom was with her the whole way through my sister’s abortion, never judged, never questioned, and probably felt like my sister was doing the brave and best thing. I’d bet that the majority of women who have abortions through their 20s tell their mom. That’s what you do when you CAN.

These stories are exactly why this bill is ridiculous, wrong, and hurtful. What a disappointment that such a majority of Senators doesn’t get that. I doubt their daughters would ever feel comfortable telling them if they needed an abortion.

A nice thought, but, I would say, only probabilistically true. I’m no supporter of notification laws, but I don’t imagine that every happy family will discuss it anyway. To a certain extent, in fact, a 16-year-old who was raised right may well say “I’m an adult, I can handle this myself” and not feel she needs to bother talking to her parents about it — she knows they’ll still love her and all, but she doesn’t feel the need to have the conversation, all the same. I don’t think that’s a bad outcome; indeed, I take issue with the underlying assumption that the parents need to know in the first place provided the facility is clean and they’re not paying for it.

(I think Doris Dawn’s ears are burning.)

I agree with this. Ideally, a young woman should talk to her good parents about this decision just as she would talk to them about the decision to become sexually active, or the decision to drop out of college and ride a unicycle at Burning Man. While the decision is ultimately hers, parents can offer a lot of valuable advice in situations like this. Most of them are basically good and supportive people who want to be involved in their child’s life for the right reasons.

However, I don’t agree that that ideal should be legislated for the sake of its emotional benefits, not in the face of the enormous drawbacks it will have for far more vulnerable young women who don’t have protection from or from their parents. To the extent that there are concerns about medical safety in terms of transparency and follow-up, it seems like the best way to satisfy them would be to regulate clinics in general, without impinging on any patient’s privacy. That’s been the strategy with every other medical procedure, and this shouldn’t be any different. Placing the burden on each young woman to bring her parents into the equation is a proven method of driving girls away from medical care, not facilitating its supervision. (Plus, I have a lot of trouble taking these concerns at face value from people who want to void funding for these clinics; nothing protects conscientious standards of care like a shoestring budget and an overwhelming demographic.)

I have no idea how often this sort of thing happens.

So why bring it up? I ask because that sort of stalking-horse maneuver is a common strategy of people who want to justify making women’s lives worse

kate:

When a teen has good, understanding parents who work hard at having a good and open dialogue with their children, usually those teens don’t find themselves in such predicaments. They either wouldn’t chose to date such a controlling asshole, or they would feel comfortable enough to be honest and ask for help from said parents

A nice thought, but, I would say, only probabilistically true. I’m no supporter of notification laws, but I don’t imagine that every happy family will discuss it anyway. To a certain extent, in fact, a 16-year-old who was raised right may well say “I’m an adult, I can handle this myself” and not feel she needs to bother talking to her parents about it — she knows they’ll still love her and all, but she doesn’t feel the need to have the conversation, all the same. I don’t think that’s a bad outcome; indeed, I take issue with the underlying assumption that the parents need to know in the first place provided the facility is clean and they’re not paying for it.