I’d be with you if that was her ONLY rationale behind advising her to consider marriage, although I still wouldn’t think it wise. My labelling of her as an idiot comes from the implication that the ability of two people to create a stable home for a child centers around whether or not they are married. That’s idiotic no matter what she follows it up with.

Not really. Nothing says you have to throw a grand wedding; you can get married cheap at city hall with only a couple of witnesses. And the baby’s then an automatic candidate for both parents’ health insurance; this can be a win if the baby proves to have significant medical expenses or if the mother’s job suddenly gets shipped overseas. So marriage could well be a financial gain.

Marriage aside, if finances are a big factor in winning her parents’ approval, sitting down and doing a budget might be a good idea. From what the letter writer says about her situation, it shouldn’t be that hard to come up with a budget that includes a baby.

Has Prudie never been married? Has she never been around anyone going through a marriage?

This Prudie seems to be once married; the previous Prudie had been married multiple times, and collected suggestions about what to do with your wedding ring if you get divorced.

If I’m not mistaken Emily Yoffe used to do product reviews at Slate…I’m not sure what qualifies her to be doing an advice column.

In any case, this week was the last. I was still reading Prudence for some reason but that was the final straw.

The response as written, though, is condescending crap.

the “get married” part is ridiculous. (at least she acknowledges she’s being a triceratops…) However, IMO it is slightly accounted for, in all fairness, by the final paragraph:

It would help if you could add what conclusions you and the father have come to about marriage and/or your living situation. If your parents have a fit, you need to remain calm and certain in the face of it. Practicing this response will be good preparation for motherhood.

which (to me) implies that the important advice it 1) decide on WHATEVER it is you’re planning to do; 2) don’t hide it from your parents; and 3) don’t let your parents push you one way or the other. Unlike “go get married you silly woman” that advice actually is sort of sensible.

So let me get this straight: Mother-To-Be says that she’s worried that her parents won’t think she’s capable of supporting a child, and Prudie suggests marriage!?!

Has Prudie never been married? Has she never been around anyone going through a marriage?

Because weddings are things that cost many, many dollars. And then many more.

So one would think that, should a woman be worried about her financial status, telling her to throw a wedding in on top of it would be, well, fucking insane.

One would think, anyway.

As for this… man this advice sucked. Offensively so. I’m reminded of the scene in Maria Full of Grace (towards the beginning, so not really a spoiler) where she tells her boyfriend she’s pregnant and he’s like, “do you want to get married?” and she just laughs at him: “married? are you in love with me? you idiot, you would marry someone you don’t love?”