Comments on: The Best Way to Punish Sexual Offenders

By: Katrina

Katrina — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 05:26:19 +0000

I have always wondered what exactly what the point of an apology is when someone makes you do it. I am a lawyer, and the only time I would recommend that anyone engage in restorative justice is if they actually care and feel poorly about what they did and want to make it up in some way that is productive.

Having also been raped and sexually abused I can say the following:

I used to really want an apology. It would have meant a lot. But the reason why I wanted an apology was because I wanted someone to say to me that what happened to me actually happened. The problem with what my situation was was that everything was alleged and unproven. The only people that were there were me and him, and everyone else had to choose who they believed. An apology was not as important to me as an acknowledgement – as in I am not making this up, I am not crazy, I did not consent, and it was wrong. In not having that acknowledgement I was made wrong. I disagree strongly with the premise that anyone should ever have to be made to apologize, because an apology means nothing when it comes from someone who is not made wrong it it.

It is in the strength of women that we find healing, not in a judicially enforced apology from a man who is not sorry. I wanted to be not wrong. I didn’t care if he was sorry.

What is healing then? Where is it found?

I am not wrong. Wrong is not my name. My name is my own, my own, my own.”

- June Jordan, Poem About My Rights

This is where healing is… It is in the strength of those who survive, not the weakness of those who perpetuate violence against women, nor in the weakness of those who think an apology will suffice.

By: Ron O.

Ron O. — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 21:28:28 +0000

I don’t know D, Rapist can rape even with a limp dick.

To be even more contary, I’m not convinced of the appropriateness of Restorative Justice for rape cases, with admittedly little thought about it yet. First, why should the victim have to rehash the crime and it’s aftermath to the perp? Sounds pretty cruel to the victim to suggest it. Also, how can you make reparations for a violent crime? Property can be repaired or replaced by money, people cannot.

Though you say this should only be pursued by victims who agree to it, I fear a situation would wuickly develop where women would be pressured into it “For their own healing” and it would just result in even more rapists going unpunished.

By: D

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:51:32 +0000

As a preventative punishment, men who are so easily temped could be aided a bit. Just a minor surgery then they’d never have to be worried about being tempted again. Maybe if they’re responsible they can just be required to take hormone antagonist.

By: Tony

Tony — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:28:52 +0000

And just to be clear, it is sex offender registries I find abhorrent, not that this particular person had to sign up for them. If I were to support such a thing, he certainly seems to be the perfect candidate.

By: Tony

Tony — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:22:50 +0000

Well, restorative justice is certainly a step in the right direction, but I don’t think any reasonable person thinks that simply a letter written to a victim is sufficient action following a rape. I guess he had to register for the sex offender list, too, which I find abhorrent.

By: jonk

jonk — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:36:04 +0000

so what does correct punishment for rape look like? are there people on this list that are anti-prison?

i have some familiarity with restorative justice, but that is usually just for minor property crimes and i would only condone it in violent crimes if the victim bought into the philosophy.

alternatively, i think there is something to be said for vigilantism, as the legal system clearly is incapable of dealing with near anything.

semi-utopically, what might establishing an alternative institution look like to deal with gender related violence?

By: Ole Blue

Ole Blue — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 14:31:53 +0000

Put the Judge in jail for being such an idiot.

By: ginmar

ginmar — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:28:02 +0000

I’m sure William Kennedy Smith would agree. It’s so nice that rich guys are safe from the untidy consequences of their actions.

By: Beet

Beet — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 09:12:31 +0000

I just found that the perp The 33-year-old New Delhi businessmen attended school in the U.S. and regularly visited London. Which means the reasoning behind this decision fits better as a joke than a ruling. If there is a cultural element here it goes back to Mighty Ponygirl's comment- in India the children of the extremely wealthy do have an entitlement mentality where justice works for them. This judge just proved that's not only true in India.

By: Beet

Beet — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 09:06:14 +0000

Ellie, I think that’s lame. I don’t know what goes on from Yahoo, but US movies don’t show guys coming onto unconscious, sleeping women. The stereotypical Hollywood sex scene was really more true in the ’80s than it is today. And even if he did get a certain idea from movies, he’s 35, which is old enough to know better.

I know lots of geeky south Asians and they aren’t idiots. Guys who hang out on Yahoo looking for women, on the other hand…