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Holler At Me When Nancy McKeon Gets One

By Ilyka Damen on 11.4.2006

I can’t believe I honestly did not know before now that Lisa Whelchel, I mean that Lisa Whelchel, has a blog.

It’s . . . inspirational, in a way.

Via (should I even admit this?) comments at Trainwrecks.

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Author: Ilyka Damen has written 9 posts for this blog.

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14 Responses

  1. 1
    JennaJ 11.4.2006 at 4:10 am |

    Yeah, hasn’t she written several child abuse manuals–um, Christian child rearing guides?

  2. 2
    Norah 11.4.2006 at 9:01 am |

    Oh sweet lord, is it a rule that 80′s sitcom stars find Jesus after they get too old to be cute?

  3. 3
    puellasolis 11.4.2006 at 10:04 am |

    Is it just me, or is the photo at the top of her blog so photoshopped it’s painful? She almost looks like a cartoon.

  4. 4
    oudemia 11.4.2006 at 10:08 am |

    Norah — Blair was always that way. When Facts of Life wanted to have a “losing your virginity” episode, they tapped Blair for the honor. She refused and that’s why it was Natalie.

    (And yes, I once watched a lot of Facts of Life *and* the E! True Hollywood Story.)

  5. 5
    Mighty Ponygirl 11.4.2006 at 11:38 am |

    Yeah, according to Lisa, if your kid won’t hold your hand while you cross the street, you should haul her across the street by her hair.

    Because it’s not abusive. You’re not spanking her. So, it’s an alternative to spanking.

    Also, make sure that the kid is set to read the Bible and do homework when they’ve misbehaved. Because nothing will get a kid turned onto God and/or learning like having to do it as a punishment.

  6. 6
    belledame222 11.4.2006 at 12:22 pm |

    holy crap.

    between her and Kirk Cameron, whose partner, Ray “Cold” Comfort also has a charming philosophy of child-rearing (Your child is ugly with sin and you must tame the satanic rebelliousness, starting with infancy, or else you will have a Jeffrey Dahmer on your hands. no shit, it’s pretty much that), which presumably he shares…yeah, maybe allowing kids to basically grow up on the set of a sitcom not such a hot idea, i am thinking. is it misplaced anger at basically being exploited child labor all these years? the natural outcome of living in a completely artificial reality in one’s formative years? “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” syndrome? whatever it is, it ain’t pretty.

  7. 7
    Louise 11.4.2006 at 6:02 pm |

    Wow… guess it’s either this or rehab as the other alternative, Norah… Oh! Or go into pseudo-boxing against Barry Williams?

  8. 8
    MARes 11.4.2006 at 8:17 pm |

    Wow, I read one of her entries where she’s all concerned that she can’t trust her son’s relationship to God and she’s going on about Satan sending her nightmares and wrestling with temptation. I had a difficult childhood, but I am eternally grateful I didn’t have to grow up around crazy religious people, that’s really got to leave a few scars.

  9. 9
    Raging Moderate 11.5.2006 at 5:40 am |

    Does Mrs. Garrett have a blog too?

  10. 10
    mmm..lemonheads 11.5.2006 at 1:11 pm |

    I seem to remember her being in the news a while ago for advocating the use of hot sauce being placed on a youngin’s tongue as punishment for whatever transgression.
    She’s whacked.

  11. 11
    Jill 11.6.2006 at 12:17 am | *

    Oh dear lord. Look at this piece of advice:

    Dear Lisa,

    My husband and I discovered our 16-year-daughter has had sex with her 17-year-old boyfriend, whom she’s known for years through church. She tells us it’s only been a few times. We talked to both her and her boyfriend, reassured her of our love, explained how disappointed we are and the fact we’ve completely lost trust in her and that we do not approve. So now what do we do? How do we rebuild trust in them? I fear they’ve just said they’ll quit having sex because they think that’s what we want to hear.

    Wow, that’s a tough one. Considering I’m also a tough one. I might take a more drastic approach than you would. You see, I’m thinking more along the lines of, she doesn’t leave the house except while sitting in class or beside you at church. No phone, IM or Internet privileges are also a good beginning. Forget seeing the boy, unless you feel generous and want to allow a small photograph on her dresser. There is time later on for rebuilding trust, in the meantime, her life should change dramatically because nothing you could do can come close to how radically her life would change as a teenage mother.

    You not only have the right to impose severe restrictions, it is your responsibility as a parent to protect your daughter. Whether it is from strangers or from herself, you must keep her safe. If she is not able to make wise choices then you make them for her until she is able (and willing.)

    After a very long time, accompanied by sincere repentance, regret and remorse, you can all think and talk about entering back into society. One of the best things you have going for you is your past mistakes. Learn from them. Where did the path begin to veer? When did the rules get sloppy? In what environment did the Truth become shadowed? Together, set up checks and balances. Think through possible dangerous scenarios and plan an escape route. Commit to accountability.

    Granted, if your daughter is intent on being intimate with this or any boy then there isn’t a whole lot you can do to stop her. We’re banking on the fact that her heart is to obey the Lord but her flesh is weak. If this is the case then she may throw a fit at first but I guarantee there will come a day in the future when she thanks you for loving her enough to be tough. The question is, can you tough it out until then?

    Locking your daughter up as punishment for pre-marital sex. I’m sure that’ll set her straight.

  12. 12
    Ilyka Damen 11.6.2006 at 1:08 am | *

    It’s that phrase “you can all think and talk about entering back into society” that knocked me back. You just know Blair would send that whorin’ daughter to Mars if that’s what it took to bring about her “repentance, regret and remorse.”

    I make fun of my Mormon upbringing a lot, but I’ll give my mom this: When I told her I wasn’t a virgin anymore, the first thing she did was get me an appointment at Planned Parenthood. Locking me away from “society” would have been pointless.

    Yeesh. This is not at all what Mrs. Garrett would have done.

  13. 13
    Chicklet 11.6.2006 at 10:45 am |

    I wonder if Lisa would have offered that advice if the LW had been the mother of the boy in this situation?

    If I was the daughter, all it would have taught me to do is be sly. “Yes” them to death, get them to pay for my college, and as soon as that degree was in my hand, get in my car, drive away, and never contact them again until it came time to choose their nursing home.

  14. 14
    belledame222 11.6.2006 at 10:51 pm |

    she’s kind of terrifying, isn’t she?

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