Also, I think tuna hits the significant clarification that should be used. The embryo/fetus of a wanted pregnancy isn’t a parasite. It’s only when it is unwanted does that comparison become accurate.

As I said, I have no problem with anyone feeling that they could never abort a pregnancy or would only do so under the most extreme situations (as Julie did) because they fell in love when they heard the heartbeat. I’m quite open to the idea that it is impolite to compare an embryo, however early, to a tapeworm and that doing so in front of a pregnant woman could lead to being punched. It’d probably be deserved (ahem, not to condone violence or anything…).

But I very much dislike the argument that one must not say any such thing for fear of driving people away from the pro-choice viewpoint. Because I resent the idea that I can’t tell what is, biologically, the simple truth: a newly coneived blastulocytst has no more ability to think or feel than an intestinal endothelial cell and considerably less than a tapeworm–simply because it might offend someone who can’t separate out the biology of the situation from their feelings. I’m angry because these people hold my life–and my daughter’s life–in their hands and are willing to throw it away because they are offended at something I might have said. Pregnancy is dangerous. Women die during pregnancy and, especially, at delivery. I had obstructed labor and have a uterine scar I don’t trust in the least and don’t want to be forced to experience uterine rupture just because someone found the tapeworm analogy distasteful.

Anecdotes conflict with one another all the time. That’s why hard evidence is needed for anything.

The problem, of course, is that the particular arguments that one person finds persuasive is an argument that another person finds repulsive. I tend to think that this is probably exacerbated by blogs, because blogs are by nature not targetted at any particular demographic group.

Then again, I’m not entirely convinced that age has anything to do with this. It seems to be experiences. It seems to me that a woman who never really wanted kids is a lot more likely to be persuaded by the “fetus = parasite” argument, and a lot less likely to be persuaded by the “I fell in love with the heartbeat” argument. Whereas a woman who always wanted a baby would be repulsed by the “fetus = parasite” argument.

I think that the key is to keep in mind that whatever argument persuades you personally, there are people out there who have had different experiences. Therefore, it is vitally important that if a person is going to make either argument, that she present it in such a way as to minimize the offense that the other side might feel.

For example, when comparing a fetus to a parasite, it is important to include a setup scenario that would explain why some women might feel that way about their pregnancy. Likewise, when pointing out that some women fall in love with their babies as soon as they hear the heartbeat, one should keep in mind that all some women hear is that they are abnormal for not immediately falling in love with their “baby”.

Kevin, the best analogy here is choosing a partner. A person is allowed to consider everything he wants in a life partner. It’s legal for people not to want to marry people of other races, as it should be. It’s illegal for any legislature to ban interracial marriages, as it should be.

those little beating heart sonograms are very powerful,

The sonograms are cool. But they lose some of their mystic power when you’ve seen a heart beating outside of a body just before it is transplanted or just after it is removed from the donor and realize that really a beating heart doesn’t mean all that much. Much more powerful for me was when the cute little parasite started playing kick-the-hand (when I put a hand over my uterus the CLP would kick curiously at the new spot of pressure or warmth). Interaction, even if probably only instinctive interaction, made it suddenly seem like there might be an actual baby instead of just a 9 month long bout of fatigue and nausea. But, of course, that didn’t happen until very late in the pregnancy…long past the point when anyone would consider a purely elective abortion.