You all aren’t sick of random playlists yet, are you? Because I made the unforgiveable mistake of doing the FRT this week without reading Ms. Lauren first — and man am I regretting it, because she has a fantastic FRT meme up. So I’m gonna borrow it. Apologies for inundating you with my crappy taste in music. This is just too fun to pass up (plus I’ve been studying all day, and if this isn’t a great distraction then I don’t know what is).
You know the deal. Set your music player to “random,” and watch the magic happen. This time around, it’ll tell your whole life story:
1. Opening Credits: Neil Young – Like a Hurricane
2. Childhood: Le Tigre – Hot Topic
More like NKOTB, but whatevs.
3. First Day of School: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Shoot Me Down
Ha.
4. Falling in Love: The Pixies – Hey
Jesus. This thing is evil.
5. Breaking Up: Talking Heads – Life During Wartime
…or maybe just really, really good.
6. Falling in Love Again: Bonny Billy – Just to See You Smile
A Tim McGraw cover?! Either iTunes hates me, or my love life is insufferably cheesy.
7. Breaking Up Again: Portishead – Biscuit
Appropriately depressing and melodramatic.
8. Prom: Iron and Wine – Free Until They Cut Me Down
9. Birth of Child: Iggy Pop – Success
Well that’s good to know, I guess.
10. Life Sucks: Tom Waits – Metropolitan Glide
11. Life’s Okay: The Smiths – Is It So Strange?
12. Mental Breakdown: The Pogues ft. Joe Strummer – I Fought the Law
13. Driving Theme: Rage Against the Machine – Know Your Enemy
I do have road rage.
14. Flashback: Guided by Voices – I am a Tree
15. High School Reunion: Van Morrison – Melancholia
Indeed.
16. Commitment Ceremony: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Rainy Night in Soho
Never considered this for a wedding song before, but I think it’s quite an excellent choice.
17. Middle Age: Modest Mouse – Dramamine
Now there’s something to look forward to.
18. Last Years: Joni Mitchell – Woodstock
19. Funeral Song: Radiohead – Like Spinning Plates
That is fucking depressing.
20. End Credits: Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah
Man. Things are not looking good for me.
Here I go:
1. Opening Credits: “Mr. Wendal”, Arrested Development
2. Childhood: “Sir Duke”, Stevie Wonder. Well, I was a child when this song came out…
3. First Day Of School: “Son Of A Preacher Man”, Dusty Springfield. Far from it. Certainly didn’t apply to my first teacher, as she was a woman.
4. Falling In Love: “Living In The Past”, Jethro Tull. Okay, I don’t get this one.
5. Breaking Up: “Hungry Heart”, Bruce Springsteen. Bullseye.
6. Falling In Love Again: “Teacher”, Jethro Tull. What’s with Tull and love on this list?
7. Breaking Up Again: “Money”, The Flying Lizards. Told ya those women were golddiggers….
8. Prom: “Blue Jean”, David Bowie. Didn’t go to prom, so this one’s a wild card.
9. Birth Of A Child: “Hoedown”, Emerson, Lake, & Palmer. Well, it’s appropriately celebratory, I suppose.
10. Life Sucks: “I Want You To Want Me”, Cheap Trick. Been there.
11. Life’s Okay: “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite”, The Beatles. Life is a circus.
12. Mental Breakdown: “Once In A Lifetime”, Talking Heads. This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife.
13. Driving Theme: “The Warrior”, Scandal featuring Patty Smyth. Hmm. Okay.
14. Flashback: “Groove Is In The Heart”, Dee-Lite. Oh, yeah. Senior year of high school, then freshman year dorm parties.
15. High School Reunion: “Lonesome Tonight”, New Order. Didn’t go because I was 2,500 miles away starting the beta release of Life 2.0. Heard it was a shitty reunion anyway.
16. Commitment Ceremony: “F**k Tha Police”, N.W.A. Well, I would play hip-hop at my wedding, were I to have one…
17. Middle Age: “Changes”, David Bowie. Double bullseye.
18. Last Years: “Your Boy’s Alive”, Ivor Novell/Patrick Doyle (Gosford Park soundtrack). Quite a shock that would be in my last years…
19. Funeral Song: “Lullaby”, Shawn Mullins. Everything’s gonna be all right…
20. End Credits: “Lovely Rita”, The Beatles. They were my first love in rock ‘n’ roll, so it’s appropriate to end my movie with them.
Playing “Like Spinning Plates” at a funeral would just be cruel. It’s like: “You’re all really freaking sad. In addition, I’ve requested that we play one of the most haunting/depressing songs ever. Just to make sure you don’t think about cheering up any time soon.”
If I did this list half the results would probably be classical music/house music/techno or something. Songs that just have no meaning whatsoever. These things are nice when the results are really apt though..
I had to quit when I saw I got Wumpscut’s “Stillbirth” as soundtrack for the Commitment Ceremony. (Although I suppose it’s somewhat appropriate, since we did end up getting divorced. Still.)
Most of the songs turned out to be fairly non-sensical for me, but I have to say – I was pretty pleased when Monty Python’s ‘Decomposing Composers’ came up as my funeral song. If you can’t laugh, what can you do?