And it felt wrong, wrong, wrong–it was more and more painful as it became more and more immediate.

To echo Holly, further upthread, I’m sure that many transwomen can empathize with this sentiment. I can too. I acknowledge that there are many differences between what you’ve experienced and what many transwomen have experienced, but I still empathize with you. I tried living as a man, too. It felt awful.

What I’m trying to say piny, is that you’re not alone. Please remember that.

You have to do what feels right to you… what feels right in your heart. It takes a lot of willpower to accomplish this. No matter what direction a person is heading in, society lays down expectations and demands conformity. There is always a degree of social resistance—especially with issues like gender—and it takes a lot of perseverance to overcome this resistance. You’ve lived as a guy for a while now and no doubt, there are now heavy social pressures to remain as you are.

I have confidence in you piny. I’ve read your words for over a year now. You’re a kick-ass person. :) Take care of yourself and live your life in a way that makes the most sense to you. I know you can do it.

Hugs and best wishes!

”revanchist uterus” is my new favorite phrase ever.

it’s now my new favorite phrase ever too. thanks. and it matters not [to me] what form you decide your body should take; the mind that spits out coif-child of Patrick Bateman and Phil Spector is a treasure.

you’ve demonstrated a great deal of both courage and generosity, sharing your experience here, and for that too i thank you.

as far as I’m concerned–though God knows my two cents aren’t worth much–whatever you do to make you feel good about being in the body you have, is just fine. Just when I think I can’t admire your bravery any more than I do, you go and show the world that you are more courageous than any of us could even imagine!

*kiss*

I’m just visiting from Shakespeare’s Sister. I’m ftm–transitioned 13 years ago and still feel it was the right thing for me. My identity is complex–to intimate friends, I’m a queer-identified trans man and a proud mom, but to the general public I’m simply a (feminist bisexual) man because society doesn’t offer the category of “trans man.”

I admire you for doing what you need to do for yourself–keep it up! And you don’t owe anyone an apology! And for what it’s worth, I believe Leslie Feinberg, who I hugely admire, went forward with transition to a point, then stopped testosterone. You’re not alone.

It’s YOUR self. You don’t owe any of us a damn thing, and certainly not apologies.

You’ve been open and brave and thought provoking, and sometimes it’s hard to work the appropriate thank-you into the ongoing blog conversations. But, since you’ve inadvertently given me the opening-

Thank you.