I should have known better than to browse through the results of a survey about modesty, given to young Christian men. But I couldn’t resist. We wrote about this one a while back when it was just a survey, but now the results are in. And they’re… interesting. I’ll let you scroll through on your own and see what these Warriors for Christ think women should and should not be wearing (hint: just about anything other than sweatshirts and loose skirts or pants fall under “should not”). There are some fairly telling results, especially in the “posture/movement” section, where girls (and they’re always referred to as “girls”) standing, walking and sitting are all deemed to be “stumbling blocks” for Christian men.
So have fun with that, since I don’t have the stomach to look through it again in order to properly post on it. However, I have read through most of the responses to the open-ended questions, and good God are these young men disturbed. Predictably, they think that women who dress “immodestly” are sluts (“harlots,” in their vernacular), and flat-out say that women’s bodies exist for male pleasure and to take care of children.
We’ll start with the less ridiculous stuff, and leave the best section for the end. The following are responses to the question, “If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about modesty, what would it be?”
A girl’s dress proclaims her priorities and values louder than if she got on a chair and screamed them to the world. When critically examining a woman’s get-up, I consider the following: Could she get down on the floor and play with a group of toddlers without losing several articles of clothing? Could she get away from a threatening situation without spraining an ankle? Could she prepare and maintain a house and its members easily? Could she be the Proverbs 31 woman dressed like that?
As Lauren pointed out when I sent this quote to her, you can do pretty much all those things naked. But I have a feeling that’s not what he means.
Number one, pay attention to what you are wearing. Something you have on may seem fine to you, but that’s because you’re a girl and you were created much, much differently than a guy. And two, listen to a guy if he tells you what is modest and what is not. Once again, his opinion may be completely different, but he’s right when it comes to modesty. He’s the one immodest clothing affects.
If his opinion is different, it means he’s right and you’re wrong. #1 rule.
If you don’t have a dad or brother to ask about the propriety of specific outfits or articles, try to find a brother in Christ who you can ask. As helpful as surveys and things like this can be, they can’t ever answer a question like “Does THIS pattern draw too much attention to my chest?” I’m not really sure what kind of criteria you should put on this kind of surrogate male family member (except that they should definitely be “aware” of girls, and understand and appreciate what you’re trying to do), so you’ll have to think through what would be appropriate, and what you would be most comfortable with, yourself. I don’t think it should be too hard to find someone willing to help you in this way. I know for sure that I would be perfectly happy (not to mention thrilled that a girl was taking this stuff into consideration) to help someone in this manner.
Because I am such a good and pure Christian man, I would be happy to watch you try on all of your immodest clothing, so that I may guide you in choosing what is appropriate and what is not. Let’s start with your underwear drawer, whaddaya say? Remember, it’s for Jesus.
The female body is a powerful gift, intended for one man.
No need to even respond to this.
Here’s my basic advice: if you’re not sure about an article of clothing, don’t buy it. That will help all of us so much. Thank you so much for desiring to serve us!
Actually, right now I’m desiring to punch you in the face. And then I would laugh and say, “You got served!” Har har.
Ask your Dad and brothers about everything.
Because a decision without patriarchal guidance is no decision at all. It’s just a sub-category of human flouting about without direction from a real person.
Now, the best part. Responses to the question, “How do you feel about girls who purposely flaunt their bodies?” Most of these, you’ll notice, include feelings of anger and/or disgust. Which, though interesting, is not particularly surprising. Although it is quite angering and disgusting:
Ladies, this is where you can get confused. Many women would think guys are ‘all about’ women who flaunt their bodies. I am here to attempt to speak for us Christian men fighting the fight for purity. Women like this disgust and frustrate me. They take advantage of something that God intended to be beautiful. They lure men away from that which they truly love. They make men like me fight and struggle, and cause many to fall. THESE WOMEN SHOULD NOT BE ADORED OR FOLLOWED! Christian sisters, please do not think that this attention is anything more than a result of short-sighted shallow men who are sexually frustrated and unwilling to follow God’s plan for sex. To me, women who flaunt their bodies make me turn my head, repulsed, and pray that God would guard my heart, eyes, and mind, and that somehow He would show them His infinite love, and that they don’t need to act in this way to be loved.
You disgusting beasts, making me look at your titties like that!
Saddened; disappointed; sometimes angered. They’re distracting good men, dishonoring God and marriage, and offering themselves cheaply–which makes me desire even more strongly a girl who is modest, who is valuable. I would be disingenuous if I didn’t concede that these kinds of girls are a temptation. But I always remind myself that if a girl flaunts herself before I marry her, she’ll do the same thing afterward. As a husband, that would make me pretty mad.What would make me happy is dedicating all my energy to loving a young woman who reserves herself for me.
Because her body only matters insomuch as it’s being used in my personal service.
Makes me angry. Yet, I wonder if it’s intentional or ignorant.
I think that girls who flaunt their bodies are struggling with the concept of true beauty. In an attempt to get attention, they’re playing games that will ultimately come back to hurt everyone involved. Through flaunting, they’re showing their foolishness. What kind of a guy would be interested in a marriage with a loose girl? Flaunting is an immediate red flag to the guys that want to please the Lord. It might attract some guys, but they won’t be interested in the girl, they’re only thinking about her body.
Yet somehow, “loose girls” everywhere manage to get hitched. And somehow, marriages which happen later in life — when a woman’s vagina is less likely to come vacuum-sealed for freshness — tend to be more successful than teenagers and young adults who marry because they desperately want to fuck.
It’s also telling that they under-value men so deeply. The assumption is that men are so animalistic that they’re unable to control themselves at the sight of a fitted t-shirt, and so shallow that they place a woman’s fashion choices and the status of her hymen above her personality, intelligence, independence and general humanity. Of course, these assumptions are probably a pretty accurate reflection of their own personal views, which they simply project onto men everywhere. Reason # 562 why patriarchy hurts men, too, and why feminism is for everyone.
My sinful, self-righteous response is to judge them, being ungrateful that I am struggling because of their dress. However, when I see a family member in my extended family flaunt their bodies, my response changes to concern – I don’t want anything to happen to them because of their dress.
I’d really hate to see a family member get raped because she was dressed like a harlot. So I’d be sure to tell her that men are naturally tempted to the female body, that if she dresses modestly she will not cause them to stumble, and if something does happen to her, then it’s her own damn fault for being such a little temptress.
Pray that these people never have daughters (or sons).
It is a horrible witness if they are Christians. It shows contempt for Scripture, and suggests ignorance and flippancy toward holiness. Their actions say that they are immature in the Lord and could not be trusted as wives, because they want the lustful attention of any man who would view them.
And by “wife” I actually mean “personal servant with no desires or personality of her own.”
It drives me crazy. They are the type of girls that I do not want to be around. Not only will they most likely cause me to sin, but they will not help me to grow as a follower of Christ. They also don’t display much self value and that is a big draw back. I want someone who will help me to avoid temptation, not provide me with it. When you flaunt yourself, you drive me away and sometimes actually make me physically sick.
They will most likely cause me to sin? They also make him physically sick and they display no value. I wonder what kind of “sin” these women cause him to commit?
Feelings are irrelevant. Scripture speaks of such women as harlots.
Right. And Scripture is also pretty clear on how we should deal with those harlots.
It actually really angers me. I find it disrespectful. I don’t think they get it. Do they realize that they have just caused someone to have sexual thoughts about them in their mind? Now the guy feels bad because he fell AGAIN and the girl wiggles on her merry way. If an unsaved girl dresses this way it doesn’t bother me that much, because really how would she know better? But a girl who says she is a Christian, and she says her body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. When that girl flaunts her body in a sexual way, I get really frustrated, because she should know better! Another thing I would like to know is..where is her father??!! He is a man, he knows how we think, how can he let her go out dressed like that??!!
Sickening. The disgust far outweighs the attraction. What do they expect to gain from their display?I respect and admire a girl with a dress. I totally ignore something that looks like a heathen prostitute.More of a problem is those who have remained bastions of purity, yet unknowingly take a fling in the opposite direction. You become accustomed to looking at them unguardedly, and when they suddenly change for the worst…bad things happen.
Does this make anyone else nervous? Because I’m wondering what kinds of “bad things” he’s so ominously referring to. I really hope that he means getting a boner, jerking off in the shower, and then crying into his Cheerios later.
While they appeal to the flesh, they are repulsive in that they are advertising themselves in the same way as a harlot. Thus implying that they are willing to act/have acted as a harlot.
Thus implying that you can treat them like sluts. Because sluts are sub-human. Duh.
Never before have I been so tempted to dress up in a booty shorts and boobie tassles and go shake my titties in the faces of some young Christian men.
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