I imagine Anonymous’ wife was getting all ‘histerical’ about her pregnancy because she realized she would be stuck with that asshole. Who wants to bet than in ten years, he’ll be sneaking into their daughter’s room at night to express his ‘infinite’ love for her?

So it needs to be an option. There are women it’s a valid choice for. But we need to stop pressuring women into it, and for god’s sake, it is *not* an alternative to abortion.

Exactly. If a woman chooses, understanding her options and the risks she is taking, to carry a pregnancy to term and let the baby be adopted, good for her, I only hope the choice isn’t as painful for her as it is for many women. It’s the pressure to make that choice and the lies about what it entails that seem to me to be most destructive. Talk to someone in a crisis pregnancy center and they’ll make it sound like adoption is the easy, low risk alternative, when, in fact, it is neither. And they know that. Or if they don’t then they are ignorant of the basic facts about the issues they are supposed to be counseling on. Either way, they are worse than useless. They are destructive.

As a cynic, I believe that politicians don’t care for the children, they care for the children’s parents’ vote, so orphans are regarded as NOTHING, not enough funding for social services, not enough safe guards set and enforced, inapt screening and fail-safes result in children getting neglected and sexually abused in horror-show orphanages, in foster homes, or at the very least for the majority of them, not knowing the sense of belonging.

…and note how the anti-choicers at large wave about ‘adoption’ as an alternative ‘choice’, instead of increased funding for financially struggling parents, support systems, etc. Oh wait, she needs to be punished for having sex, I keep forgetting about that.

I think, the next time those anti-choicer show up on my campus and wave their graphic photos of (miscarried!) fetuses, I’m going to have a wall lined with articles of what happens to orphans, especially the autopsies of children killed by the fundies who adopts a handful of them for money and their own sick use.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2002/07/21/youthday_protest020721.html

- MG

I realise now that in the intervening nine months, I’d go batshit crazy and very possibly hurt myself and the fetus in the process. Adoption is a solution to an unwanted child, it is not a solution to an unwanted pregnancy. There are a large number of reasons why someone would not want or be able to cope with pregnancy, and mental health is one of them. I am now of the opinion that if my birth control fails, I will have an abortion. Or at the least, it will take radical, radical measures for me to be in an environment where I can deal with pregnancy even if the intended outcome is adoption, such that my stance upon learning I am pregnant will be biased toward abortion. I can barely take care of myself right now, and the added stresses of pregnancy…wow, that is not a fun thing to imagine. I would not be safe.

Awww, so the creep posted using Anon? Is there an IP address though? Let’s hope that he didn’t use a public terminal, it might be possible to find out his ID if he posted using his real name also using that IP, it could be his work/home IP, if he talk about his wife, search for her name, maybe she has a blog or whatever. (Recent Pandagon post, comments mention that sometimes the Internet is the only contact some abused women have with the rest of the world)

I think those that have the means to should definitely ensures that she does read that comment instead of ‘hoping’.

- MG

I miscarried. It nearly cost me my own life. I won’t go into details.

The prolife group called me up to check on my pregnancy. I told them about the miscarriage.

They Never Called Me Back.

I told the family, specifically the father, about it because I had been making arrangements with him. He held me and let me cry about it.

Years later, I was confronted by some door to door missionairy jerks (would you believe they were women?) who heard that I was scheduled for a surgery. They asked what it was for and I told them truthfully it was a D&C. The two of them started attacking me about “killing my baby” and that I was a murderer in front of a child that was later adopted out. She was 15 months at the time. I had had enough. I told them off. That this was my body and that I wasn’t murdering my baby and was in fact trying to fix a problem with my fertility so that I could have more children and how DARE they accuse me when they don’t even know my health situation.

I then tore into them about what a spontaneous abortion was and that I had had one several years earlier and if I had instead had the medicalized abortion instead, I would never had put my life at risk bring a child into the world. All because the prolife group couldn’t see me as anything other than a walking incumbator. I let a huge amount of rage out that day…

I never heard from them again.

Ask a prolifer if people who have “spontaneous abortions” murderers. If they say yes, they are illeducated. Because that means that God is a murderer. After all, “spontaneous abortions” is the medical term for “miscarriage.”

I cannot imagine giving a child up for adoption. It doesn’t solve the fundamental problem, which is unwanted *pregnancy*. Pregnancy is sheer unadulterated hell that physically transforms you forever. The *only* possible reason to endure pregnancy is the joy of the baby in your arms at the end. A stillbirth, a late-term abortion for the mother’s health or birth defects in the child, a late term miscarriage… and giving a child up for adoption. They are all absolutely horrifying to me because you work so hard and go through so much to be pregnant and then to have it all come to nothing, to have the child die or be sent away… god. I want to kick the lawmakers who forbade “partial birth abortion” in the nuts (and for those who are women, I want them to get a sudden post-menopausal pregnancy, since they’re probably all past menopause, and be told that due to their advanced maternal age if they don’t get an abortion they will die or have their health permanently destroyed. Actually I wish this could happen to the men too, but biology doesn’t work like that. And then when they have the abortion to save their own selfish lives I want there to be paparazzi taking pictures of them and plastering their pictures on the front of the New York Post the next day.)

I would not forbid adoption because it is a valid choice for a woman to make. But it destroys lives *far* more than abortion does. My mother had an abortion as a teen and seems to have no regrets about it at all — it was the result of a rape, and had she not aborted, the children she *did* want, me and my brothers, wouldn’t be here. She was offered the choice of abortion when pregnant with me, and she chose me… which means unlike a lot of these freaked-out pro-lifers who fear that Mom might have aborted them if it had been legal then, I *know* my mother wanted me. *I* was chosen, I was wanted. On the other hand my mother suffered her whole life in the belief that she *wasn’t* wanted, and after finding her birth mother’s family (her birth mother is dead), she learned that her birth mother seemed to experience some sort of sadness and distance from her family her whole life.

So it needs to be an option. There are women it’s a valid choice for. But we need to stop pressuring women into it, and for god’s sake, it is *not* an alternative to abortion. Putting your baby in an artificial womb would be an alternative to abortion. When I see pro-lifers actively supporting such technology I might actually believe they care about women’s lives and not about punishing sluts for sex.