Author: has written 5288 posts for this blog.

Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
Return to: Homepage | Blog Index

55 Responses

  1. cara
    cara May 7, 2007 at 8:10 pm |

    Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Jill. It’s an amazing post.

  2. Hector B.
    Hector B. May 7, 2007 at 8:41 pm |

    Because of my abortion, I was able to heal the tattered pieces of my marriage without suffering a conflicted pregnancy at the same time. Because of my abortion, I’ve had the time, money, ability to follow my dreams and ambitions, to become the person I aspire to be. Because of my abortion, my husband, who has raised children since he was nineteen years old, will someday have an adulthood without kids in the house.

    Man, I almost wish she hadn’t given her reasons, because they can be picked apart. Your right to choose doesn’t depend on your reasons. But reading the article, even I found myself thinking of my uncle, born when his mother was 44 and his father was 46, who grew up to be a good husband, and father of two great kids, as well as one of my best friends.

  3. Sheanna
    Sheanna May 7, 2007 at 9:04 pm |

    What an amazing women. I too have had an abortion and do not regret it. I am a proud mother of three beautiful children who i love and adore but with my first pregnancy i want ready the baby would not have had a life it deserved.

    My Abortion was ALSO a good thing.

  4. Amanda Marcotte
    Amanda Marcotte May 7, 2007 at 9:27 pm |

    Hector, considering that the stereotype of the woman who has an abortion is that she’s a thoughtless slut who uses abortion because she’s too lazy to take birth control, telling stories helps a lot. If only to undermine the stereotype and remind people that women who have abortions are human and have human reasons.

    Yes, to a person who thinks of women strictly as vessels, no reason will ever suffice for her to value herself or her life over her uterine contents. But these stories help fence-sitters.

  5. twf
    twf May 7, 2007 at 9:56 pm |

    My story, along with that of many other women, is up at I’m not sorry. I will not tell you which specific one is mine, since my first name combined with much of the info I’ve given in comments here may be enough to identify me, and I’m not ready to give up pseudonymity, and least not while looking for a tenure-track job.

  6. sophonisba
    sophonisba May 8, 2007 at 1:27 am |

    But reading the article, even I found myself thinking of my uncle, born when his mother was 44 and his father was 46, who grew up to be a good husband, and father of two great kids, as well as one of my best friends.

    Good for him. This has what, exactly, to do with the quality of HIS MOTHER’S life? You know, the person in Erika’s position, who is the person whose quality of life is at issue?

    In order to function as any kind of rebuttal to Erika’s reasons, you would have to show that your uncle’s father, who was 46 when he was born, had “an adulthood without kids in the house,” one of the happy side effects of this woman’s abortion for her own husband. And your uncle’s father didn’t have this. Because he was 46. When your uncle. Was born.

    I really don’t see what the happiness of your uncle, much less his capacities as husband and father, have to do this. Far from picking apart Erika’s reasons, you haven’t touched them. It’s not clear that you have any idea what they were, even though she laid it all out in detail. Can you really not believe that she was thinking of herself and her husband, and their happiness and survival, not of the potential husbanding and fathering skills of the imaginary child she never had?

  7. Natalia
    Natalia May 8, 2007 at 3:22 am |

    No death threats yet? Let’s hope it stays that way.

  8. Dianne
    Dianne May 8, 2007 at 3:37 am |

    But reading the article, even I found myself thinking of my uncle, born when his mother was 44 and his father was 46, who grew up to be a good husband, and father of two great kids, as well as one of my best friends.

    Not to pick on Hector, but these sort of arguments always strike me as sort of weird. As though an embryo is more likely to grow into a wonderful person if it is at risk of being aborted or gestated under difficult circumstances. Erika is not your great-aunt and her circumstances are probably totally different from your great-aunt’s. I had a great-uncle, who, like your uncle, was born when my great-grandmother was in her 40s*. He killed one of my other great-uncles in a bar fight. So if we apply your logic then we should all rejoice that Erika saved her daughter from a sibling who was likely to be fratricidal because another child, born under superficially similar circumstances, once was.

    *Actually, I had two great-uncles born after my great-grandmother turned 40. The other one turned out ok, as these things go. I never met this great-grandmother–she died before I was born–but she was said to have been a very nice person who had a terrible life. None of her descendents so far has chosen to follow her example and have 11 children. We’re all much happier for it, as far as I can tell.

  9. Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel
    Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel May 8, 2007 at 8:08 am |

    Bless Erika, bless her courage to tell us a story she could have kept to herself, bless the women who cared for her during the abortion.

    And bless you, Jill, ’cause you’re a good ‘un.

    To follow some of the previous remarks: Every single one of us knows at least one fine person who emerged out of circumstances that possibly were not so fine. Yeah? So? Erica’s story doesn’t need any qualifiers, even from her.

  10. Thealogian
    Thealogian May 8, 2007 at 9:05 am |

    Thank you for posting a link to Ericka’s story. The pricipled narrative has been claimed by the “pro-life”/forced childbirth crowd for too long. The only way to combat the lies is with radical truth telling. This story, flush with the details of life and family complexity, offers that. I can’t help but remember stories of women/girls who protest Women’s Clinics and then have abortions themselves there only to return to the protest lines a few weeks later. Their logic: “my abortion was necessary; most women’s abortions aren’t.” If you confront that thinking head on with not just the horrific stories of the “deserving virgin” or even the fetal abnormalities of a wanted child, but also those abortion stories of the everyday (over 60% of abortions are for women who already have children, afterall), then we’re on the path toward be honest about family planning and how pregnancy/childbirth is not the story of one potential life, but of all the lives involved (in Erika’s case, her husband, her daughter, her step-children and step-grandchild, and of course Erika). The Religious Right wants to keep sexuality and family planning matters out of sight so that they can be hypocrites safely and in secret. Well, no more. Let’s keep up radical truth talk. Honesty has power.

  11. preying mantis
    preying mantis May 8, 2007 at 9:59 am |

    Man, one of the comments over there is making me want to slam my head on my desk for a bit. Why is it that everyone I ever hear talk about how other women say “Well, if I ever get pregnant, I’ll just get an abortion” seem to be shoving that ‘just’ in all by themselves?

    Pretty much everyone I’ve known who’s been sexually active and not OK with the possibility of becoming a mother has been fairly well aware of abortion being expensive and unpleasant, in addition to carrying the same risks as any other unnecessary surgical procedure. Not needing it in the first place was always far and away the goal, with abortion being the thing that they could fall back on if they turned out to be that unlucky 1% and their other method(s) failed at some point.

    This has been similar to the attitude of friends who are now trying to have children. They want to be pregnant, but if anything should go wrong with their pregnancies, they have an option that doesn’t involve carrying a terribly deformed child to term or risking their lives on a gamble of a pregnancy. It relieves a bit of the stress of worrying about what will happen if you wind up being one of those unlucky couples for whom things go wrong.

  12. DAS
    DAS May 8, 2007 at 10:30 am |

    Because of my abortion, I was able to heal the tattered pieces of my marriage without suffering a conflicted pregnancy at the same time.

    This is an interesting reason for political purposes, actually — the pro-forced-birth crowd overlaps to a large degree with the self-proclaimed “pro-marriage” (I fail to see how they are any more pro-marriage than they are pro-life … considering that they oppose, e.g., gay marriage) crowd … yet they would have denied this woman access to a medical procedure that saved her marriage? WTF?

  13. DAS
    DAS May 8, 2007 at 10:39 am |

    Man, one of the comments over there is making me want to slam my head on my desk for a bit. Why is it that everyone I ever hear talk about how other women say “Well, if I ever get pregnant, I’ll just get an abortion” seem to be shoving that ‘just’ in all by themselves? – preying mantis

    The pro-forced-birth (PFB) crowd does tend to talk out of both sides of their mouths, don’t they? On the one hand, when it comes to “using abortion as a form of birth control”, the PFBers agure as if abortion is “an easy way out”. OTOH, when it comes to D&X, the PFBers can’t understand how abortion is less stressful on the body than a C-section or a live birth.

    It seems the PFBers, even those who are mothers themselves and hence should know better about what pregnancy and delivery entail, try to have it both ways and have no sense of perspective about either pregnancy, delivery or abortion. I’m just a man who’s not even a father, and yet I seem to know the drill better than they. So what gives with the PFB crowd?

  14. Mnemosyne
    Mnemosyne May 8, 2007 at 11:18 am |

    I’m just a man who’s not even a father, and yet I seem to know the drill better than they. So what gives with the PFB crowd?

    I think it’s like someone (Sheelzebub?) posted at Pandagon the other day: a total denial of reality. When the “partial-birth abortion” ruling passed, there were a bunch of comments at news sites by “pro-life” people celebrating about how “babies’ lives would now be saved” despite the fact that if you have a D&X in your third trimester, it’s almost always because THE BABY CAN’T BE SAVED. The Supreme Court didn’t save a single fetus’s life with that decision — not one — and yet they were dancing around like it was 1999.

  15. Anne
    Anne May 8, 2007 at 11:25 am |

    It’s not just denial, it’s actively developing and passing around flat-out fantasy ideas about abortion, i.e. “abortionists” are all evil sadists out to develop the most gruesome medical procedures possible in their “abortion mills” to which they lure women who whimsically decide to abort 8-month pregnancies.

  16. preying mantis
    preying mantis May 8, 2007 at 11:38 am |

    “yet they would have denied this woman access to a medical procedure that saved her marriage? WTF?”

    Now, now. If you’re living in a world where every denied abortion goes on to be a happy, well-adjusted person that’s oh-so-grateful for having been saved, I’m sure all you’d need to do to save that marriage would be to deny them a divorce.

  17. Frumious B
    Frumious B May 8, 2007 at 12:49 pm |

    People like Hector and Kat (previous thread) read about other people’s decisions and read into it that the decision they or their family made (Hector’s aunt and Kat) to keep the baby was wrong. It’s not, folks. Erika and Dan Neil and their spice made the decision that was right for them. Their decision in no way is a comment on the worth of Hector’s uncle or Kat’s son.

  18. bmc90
    bmc90 May 8, 2007 at 1:06 pm |

    I am awed by how successful the anti-choice movement has been at portraying abortion as the decision of irresponsible sluts when, as in this case, the decision to have an abortion is often made with a lot of male input and benefits men who don’t want to be fathers greatly. I think most feminists are afraid to go there because the next thing you hear is, oh and women need to be protected from the undue influence of pedophiles when seeking an abortion so there should be a two year waiting period and criminal background check OR see, we told you, men should have some say in whether women get an abortion or not. Just like with parental consent laws, the reality is that most teens include their parents in their decision to terminate a preganancy, but going in front of a judge and proving that you should not have to get your parent’s consent because your mother is a violent alcoholic who will beat you up for getting pregnant, but if the judge finds that out you will have to go live with your father again, and his fifth wife’s older son keeps trying to video tape you when you shower ain’t so cool if it’s YOU having to do it. Essentially, it’s a no win. But the post does a great job of showing why this is so important for both men and women.

  19. Natalia
    Natalia May 8, 2007 at 1:37 pm |
  20. Hector B.
    Hector B. May 8, 2007 at 2:01 pm |

    People like Hector and Kat (previous thread) read about other people’s decisions and read into it that the decision they or their family made (Hector’s aunt and Kat) to keep the baby was wrong.

    No, I believe that people carefully evaluate their situation, and make the right decisions for themselves. And because my experiences and values are not relevant to the people who are making these decisions, I really do not want to try to pick apart the reasons for their decision. But I think it’s very tempting for third parties to analyze people’s decision making based on their own experiences and their own value system.

  21. Morningstar
    Morningstar May 8, 2007 at 2:15 pm |

    To know that the medication for chemical, at-home pregnancy termination was still months away from FDA approval, so I needed to wait another three weeks, pregnant, miserable, symptomatic, until the fetus was large enough to abort with a D&C.

    Can someone explain the rationale for this?

    First, what is D&C?

    And second, why was she simply waiting for the abortion pill?

  22. rachel
    rachel May 8, 2007 at 2:32 pm |

    d/c = dilation and curettage, most common abortion procedure where you dilate the cervix and scrap out the contents of the uterus. in order to get a d/c for abortion (not the only reasons to get a d/c, mind), you have to be a certain number of weeks pregnant. however, with the abortion pill, you can take it until your 10th week of pregnancy.

    i assume that her abortion took place before fall … 2000? is that when mifepristone was approved? it took forever for the fda to approve.

  23. zuzu
    zuzu May 8, 2007 at 3:10 pm |

    People like Hector and Kat (previous thread) read about other people’s decisions and read into it that the decision they or their family made (Hector’s aunt and Kat) to keep the baby was wrong. It’s not, folks. Erika and Dan Neil and their spice made the decision that was right for them. Their decision in no way is a comment on the worth of Hector’s uncle or Kat’s son.

    You’re assuming that Kat knew about her son’s autism in utero and decided whether or not to terminate based on that. She didn’t. In fact, she didn’t know her son, who was the result of a wanted pregnancy, had any issues until he was older.

    I’m not sure why everyone jumped on her in that thread; she expressed discomfort with the reasoning of the father in the LA Times article in selecting which fetuses to abort (older father + male fetus = higher risk for autism), not with the couple’s decision to have a selective reduction.

    For people who do *that,* see the reaction to Amy Richards’ piece a few years ago.

  24. Mnemosyne
    Mnemosyne May 8, 2007 at 3:29 pm |

    And second, why was she simply waiting for the abortion pill?

    Because it hadn’t been approved yet and she needed an abortion anyway? RU-486 wasn’t available here in the US until 2000.

    It’s pretty clear from the story that she’s talking about something that happened years ago, not a decision she made yesterday.

  25. Mnemosyne
    Mnemosyne May 8, 2007 at 3:34 pm |

    I’m not sure why everyone jumped on her in that thread; she expressed discomfort with the reasoning of the father in the LA Times article in selecting which fetuses to abort (older father + male fetus = higher risk for autism), not with the couple’s decision to have a selective reduction.

    It came across as her being uncomfortable with the parents making the decision based on possibly having a disabled child. I understand why disabled people and advocates for the disabled are squeamish about people aborting fetuses that may be disabled, but it really is something that the parents have to decide if they can handle or not.

    When my best friend was pregnant with her second child, she was on pins and needles waiting for the amnio test to come back, because she knew that if there were any significant abnormalities (like Down’s Syndrome), she would terminate because she felt that the stress of raising a disabled child would be too much for her family and would be unfair to her older child. So people do make those decisions all the time.

    (It all worked out — despite the propaganda telling you that you’re DOOMED to have a Down’s child if you’re over 35, her daughter is perfectly fine.)

  26. preying mantis
    preying mantis May 8, 2007 at 3:50 pm |

    “And second, why was she simply waiting for the abortion pill?”

    My interpretation of that paragraph was that, because RU-486 (which can induce a miscarriage at pretty much any point from implantation to 8 weeks) was not yet available, she had to wait until the pregnancy was far enough along for a D&C. She wasn’t waiting to abort until she could do it via pill, she was telling her readers that, because of the fact that mifepristone was not yet available for that purpose, she was stuck supporting an unwanted pregnancy until a surgical abortion could be performed.

  27. Frumious B
    Frumious B May 8, 2007 at 10:10 pm |

    zuzu:

    You’re assuming that Kat knew about her son’s autism in utero and decided whether or not to terminate based on that.

    No, I am not. How would anyone even know that their kid is autistic in utero? There’s no test for it at the moment, so that’s a ridiculous accusation.

    Mnemosyne:
    It came across as her being uncomfortable with the parents making the decision based on possibly having a disabled child.

    Precisely, and it came across that way b/c she brought up her son as an example of how wonderful autistic children are. I am sure her son is wonderful. However, his wonderfulness is not sufficient reason to criticize anyone else’s abortion decision.

    Hector B.:
    But I think it’s very tempting for third parties to analyze people’s decision making based on their own experiences and their own value system.

    Bringing up your uncle and saying her reasons are easy to pick apart sure looks like analyzing Erika’s decision making based on your own experiences and your own value system.

  28. Hector B.
    Hector B. May 8, 2007 at 10:51 pm |

    Bringing up your uncle and saying her reasons are easy to pick apart sure looks like analyzing Erika’s decision making based on your own experiences and your own value system.

    I fought temptation and pretty much won.

  29. lConservativel
    lConservativel May 9, 2007 at 12:18 am |

    Thanks for the post Jill, it’s far less often that people are brave enough defend womens’ reproductive rights when physical health isn’t a factor. Really cuts to the heart of the issue.

  30. Ericka
    Ericka May 9, 2007 at 2:31 am |

    Thank you, everybody — it’s been very interesting to hear my story discussed here. And yes, the reason I could not take RU486 is that it was the year 2000, and, as Preying Mantis writes (comment #28), it wasn’t available until a month or two after my D&C.

  31. Mister Nice Guy
    Mister Nice Guy May 9, 2007 at 7:04 am |

    “As though an embryo is more likely to grow into a wonderful person if it is at risk of being aborted or gestated under difficult circumstances.”

    Dianne, I have no doubt that many people unconsciously believe this. After all, it’s an element in the bio of almost every legendary hero: adders crawled into his crib, the king ordered all the babies killed, his home planet exploded.

  32. Julie
    Julie May 9, 2007 at 9:20 am |

    That was a very touching story Ericka, thank you for sharing it. I think it’s important to share stories like that and remove the stigma surrounding abortion.
    On the other thing that’s come up in the this thread, I don’t think it’s necessary to jump on people’s discomfort and try to make them seem like bad people if they disagree with a decision someone has made. I work as an advocate for individuals with disabilities and have a sister with a developmental disability (autism, to be exact). So, I’ll admit that the decision to abort based on a disability such as Down Syndrome makes me very uncomfortable, but I also understand that I am in a position where I live in a state with fantastic resources for people with disabilities, have a fairly in depth knowledge of those services and how to access them and have a large family support system. I understand that many people are not able or willing to care for a child with severe special needs and I do not condemn them or blame them and if it were my sister or friend making the decision, I would be there for her every step of the way and she would never, ever know that I was uncomfortable with what she was doing. I also understand that my sister with austism being a wonderful person doesn’t mean someone else’s child with autism would be wonderful, and is not a reason to say “well you can’t abort, because look at my sister and isn’t she wonderful?”. That’s stupid. I, and I’m sure Kat, do not advocate taking away anyone’s right to make a decision based on a fetus’s disability, but simply not agreeing with the basis for making a decision doesn’t make someone a bad, horrible person who doesn’t trust people to make their own decisions. I also don’t agree with having a baby because you think it will make your significant other love you more, but it’s none of my business if someone does. Other people probably don’t agree with my choice to become a mom at a fairly young age (I was 23 when my daughter was born). We don’t all have to agree with every decision a person makes to agree that people have the right to make the reproductive decisions that work for them.

  33. R. Mildred
    R. Mildred May 9, 2007 at 12:24 pm |

    But reading the article, even I found myself thinking of my uncle, born when his mother was 44 and his father was 46, who grew up to be a good husband, and father of two great kids, as well as one of my best friends.

    Am I the only one who immediately thought “My name is Hector B, you may or may not have killed someone’s theoretical uncle in utero because you felt that was the right thing to do, prepare to die!” on reading that?

  34. unvwhhrv
    unvwhhrv May 9, 2007 at 12:25 pm |

    unvwhhrv

    unvwhhrv

  35. Hector B.
    Hector B. May 9, 2007 at 12:31 pm |

    Am I the only one who immediately thought “My name is Hector B, you may or may not have killed someone’s theoretical uncle in utero because you felt that was the right thing to do, prepare to die!” on reading that?

    What’s your email, Mildred? I’d be willing to spar with you away from the blog.

  36. MrSoul
    MrSoul May 9, 2007 at 1:22 pm |

    My sister, who used to be nominally pro-life, is now saying “I should have had an abortion!!!” in a fake-melodramatic, very funny way, since one of her sons is in trouble with the law (again). But seriously, I don’t think she is 100% joking. Her son has been in trouble with some type of authority since day one. She’s physically tired as well as emotionally exhausted. He has disrupted both of her marriages significantly, and cost her thousands and thousands of unplanned-for dollars. He is the direct cause of her estrangement from one of her beloved daughters (long, convoluted story). Etc.

    So for every nice uncle, you get my nephew. ;) I figure it all evens out.

  37. Tony
    Tony May 9, 2007 at 1:23 pm |

    Maybe if she doesn’t want to have kids she should use contraception. Maybe if you’re going to have sex you should be adult enough to accept all the responsibilities that flow from that decision.

    I’m sorry, this whole abortion as contraception rubs me the wrong way. If you don’t want to get pregnant don’t have sex, or be very careful about it, at least.

    I am staunchly pro-choice, and believe in a woman’s right to choose, even if I don’t agree with her choice.

    But that doesn’t mean I have to personally agree with the choice a woman makes. For me There is something a little to nonchalant about the article you have quoted, Jill.

    Yes the woman is more important than the “potential” life, but still, it is “potential” human life, and that deserves a modicum of respect in my book.

    “My abortion was a good thing”

    Give me an F’in break your abortion resulted because you’re husband was too lazy to put a condom on or you were too lazy to take a pill.

    I don’t think abortion is murder. I do believe that any abortion done for the sole reason of “oh I just forgot to take my pill,” or something along those lines, reflects poorly on the person’s character.

    But again, ultimately, I will defend a person’s right to make that choice.

    That’s my personal opinion.

  38. zuzu
    zuzu May 9, 2007 at 1:44 pm |

    Shorter Tony: Bitch asked for it.

  39. preying mantis
    preying mantis May 9, 2007 at 1:49 pm |

    “But again, ultimately, I will defend a person’s right to make that choice.”

    You mean once you’ve got the shaming and blaming all the way? You’re a real boon to the cause, Tony.

  40. preying mantis
    preying mantis May 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm |

    Sorry. “all out of the way”

  41. Heraclitus (Jeff)
    Heraclitus (Jeff) May 9, 2007 at 1:50 pm |

    …whereas deciding to have a kid because “oops I forgot to take my pill” is some sort of great moral decision?

    Nice!

  42. Laurie
    Laurie May 9, 2007 at 2:00 pm |

    Maybe if she doesn’t want to have kids she should use contraception. Maybe if you’re going to have sex you should be adult enough to accept all the responsibilities that flow from that decision.

    Aaaaaand…. what happens when the condom breaks, or the diaphragm slips, or the Pill fails? ‘Cause it happens, y’know. Even to nice married women who, I dunno, might like to have sex with their husbands.* And I’d say she “accepted the consequences” just fine — she made a choice about whether she could raise a child at that point in her life or not, and took the responsibility of making a decision about it. Women have been doing this since we figured out how to tell we were going to have a baby. We just have safer and more predictable means of doing it these days.

    NOT accepting that responsibility would have entailed having said child and telling it for its entire life *what a mistake you were*. Because, yes, people do that, and damage other people irrevocably.

    *No, I haven’t actually read the article, but you know what? This same argument gets trotted out EVERY DAMN TIME abortion is mentioned, no matter WHAT the circumstances are. And I’m really, really tired of hearing it. Y’know what? Just ONCE, I’d like to see someone tell a man, in that same smarmy tone, “well, if you want sex, you have to accept the responsibilities. You should have worn a condom.”

    /rant, ’cause I should really get some work done today. :P

  43. MrSoul
    MrSoul May 9, 2007 at 3:10 pm |

    This is why I dislike these kinds of articles. No offense, Jill. But this happens every single time.

    If any reasons are given, those reasons are endlessly reviewed, judged, and picked apart.

    I’ve never seen it NOT happen.

  44. sophonisba
    sophonisba May 9, 2007 at 3:19 pm |

    If you don’t want to get pregnant don’t have sex, or be very careful about it, at least.

    That how you’ve managed to avoid pregnancy, is it, Tony?

    Tell us more, Tony, about the way you’ve prevented the need for an abortion of your very own. Tony. Your uterus could teach ours some valuable lessons, I bet.

  45. ekf
    ekf May 9, 2007 at 3:37 pm |

    But I think that’s all the more reason to keep talking about it, because honesty and openness normalizes it. Clamming up only aids in continuing the stigma.

    Hear, hear! Some pregnancies are mistakes, for whatever reason, but they’re mistakes made by a shitload of people considered “normal” and “respectable” — as well they should, of course. But because the stereotype of a woman who has had an abortion is slut-shamed into a weird shell of selfishness, monstrousness and venality, the stories of people who are “normal” and “respectable,” even if they are imperfect, are important in dispelling the stereotype.

  46. Medicine Man
    Medicine Man May 9, 2007 at 6:11 pm |

    An interesting page I came across via Andrew Sullivan, of all places:

    http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/anti-tales.html

    Interesting and difficult at the same time.

  47. Julie
    Julie May 9, 2007 at 6:44 pm |

    No, Tony you absolutely do not have to agree with every decision a person makes, but there is a huge difference between thinking to yourself that you dont agree with the decision, and blasting someone for being lazy and irresponsible. 50% of pregnancies in this country are unplanned, and a good majority of women have had at least one. Telling people in general to just not have sex is ignorant as 95% of Americans have premarital sex, and this was a married woman on top of that. Youre just not supposed to have sex with your husband? Mine would be really appreciative of that decision, I could see it now. I get so freaking sick of tired of this “Of course I support a womans right to choose, but youre a selfish bitch because you had an abortion because it was the right decision for you” The circumstances of conception DO NOT MATTER. I dont agree with every decision to have an abortion either, but its none of my freaking business and its certainly not my place to condemn someone for making a choice other than I would make. If she said her abortion was a good thing, then it was, because it enabled her to live her life in the manner she chose.

  48. Hector B.
    Hector B. May 9, 2007 at 11:41 pm |

    I dont agree with every decision to have an abortion either, but its none of my freaking business and its certainly not my place to condemn someone for making a choice other than I would make. If she said her abortion was a good thing, then it was, because it enabled her to live her life in the manner she chose.

    Yup. I endorse this point of view 100%.

  49. cheap propecia
    cheap propecia May 10, 2007 at 1:35 pm |

    cheap propecia

    cheap propecia

  50. Riva
    Riva May 10, 2007 at 8:14 pm |

    Maybe I’m just being picky, but it also irritates me how often the fact that a woman has already had children and doesn’t want any more is used to make her appear more deserving of an abortion than a woman who chooses never to have children. It’s as though all women have a motherly duty, and only after they have fulfilled this are they fully deserving of reproductive rights. Even feminists cite this argument.

    My interpretation of intent may be wrong, though; maybe most of the time it’s more for the purpose of stereotype-breaking and the reinforcement of the view that women who have children at some point are better than women who don’t is just an unfortunate side effect.

  51. iuwlqlsv
    iuwlqlsv May 11, 2007 at 8:13 pm |

    iuwlqlsv

    iuwlqlsv

Comments are closed.

The commenting period has expired for this post. If you wish to re-open the discussion, please do so in the latest Open Thread.