Oops! I crapped my pants.
A newly approved over-the-counter diet drug called alli is flying off the shelves – and I’ll predict a spike in black pant sales, because a primary side effect of the drug is anal leakage.
In a theoretical 3,000 calorie-a-day diet with about 100 grams of fat, the drug would eliminate about 225 calories.
But it can also result in what the manufacturer describes as loose stools and gas with an oily discharge. “It’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work,” the drug’s official website says.
Mmmm, loose stools, gas and oily discharge! Now, I love scatalogical humor as much as the next girl, but I’m not sure I’d want to make myself a walking advertisement for it just so I could drop 5 pounds.
The bright side: I get to file this post under “assholes.” Ha ha.
Skid rows?
Oy! I accidentally got those olestra potato chips one time…man oh man…they killed! And I’m sorry, unless you are extremely and/or extremely active, you’re not going to lose unhealthy fat and gain lean muscle mass and increase your cardio function on 3,000 calories/day. A pill sure wouldn’t put a dent in that.
Is there a conspiracy between Glaxo and Kimberly Clark? Because I also predict a spike in the sale of Depends.
This is one of the greatest headlines ever.
One of the wacky radio shows here in Los Angeles had one of their guys eat a fatty meal and then take the drug. Yep, it really does work as advertised. They broadcast it. Eeeeeewwwww.
Again, people — consult a dietitian and find out how many calories you need to eat to lose weight without shutting down your metabolism. It will work a lot better than a fear of anal leakage.
And you got to quote Billy Madison.
That is certainly always a highlight of my day.
Dude, as someone who suffers from IBD, and has had to on occasion run around in a complete panic trying to find a restroom and gets anxiety attacks about being someplace without a restroom, I cannot, I mean cannot, believe some people would willingly subject themselves to this shit on purpose! For 200-something measily calories. It is a sucky way to live, trust me.
I wonder if everyone in California (where it has reportedly been flying off shelves) is crapping themselves en masse as we speak.
Nope, nope, nope- gonna stick to my cucumber wraps and extra exercise! I can just imagine the ribbing I’d take from my kids- “Jeez, Ma, you toilet-trained US and then forgot it YOURSELF”…
One bonus of eating better the past month and already shedding 5 lbs- the kids have discovered that Mom’s rice cakes are yummy and prefer the chocolate ones to candy!
Urgh. That sounds like my bout with colititis earlier this year. It was not fun. I echo the “who would willingly subject themselves to that?!” sentiment.
I’ll third it. One of my current medications effectively gives me intermittant IBS. Do this just for weight-loss? Not on your ever-lovin’ life.
IBS and lactose intolerant here. Yes, my life really, really sucks sometimes.
I suspect that just one bout of what happens to me if I’m not careful about my dairy intake will be enough to convince people that they really don’t want to continue taking this drug.
And let me just ask…how much are dark pants really going to cover?
I was quite heavy when I was in highschool (about 215-220 lbs at my heaviest and 5’7″ tall) and pretty depressed and after having a meltdown of sorts my doctor prescribed a drug like that to me. I read the side effects (the same ones listed here) and said forget it. I never got the prescription filled and proceeded to go vegetarian and loose about 50 lbs on my own.
In other words, drugs like that are gross and scarey.
Gas with oily leakage? No dark color will cover that stench.
This reminds me of some hair-loss drug that was doing all sorts of bizarre things like giving the men taking it mild incontinence or erectile dysfunction. A ridiculous number who reported the side effects had no plan to stop taking the drug because hey, their hair came back! It’s like, okay, so you’ve got hair now. Great. What are you planning to do with it, given that your penis is unreliable and you smell faintly of urine on a daily basis? How could such small gains–gains that will vanish if you ever stop taking the pill–possibly be worth these sorts of problems?
Actually, probably not. That’s why they can expect to sell a product which boasts of gas and oily discharge. People who have tried to lose weight are very likely to discover that eating a moderate diet and staying active isn’t going to take off considerable weight. The people isn’t that people don’t know enough to lose weight. Its that the measures they are told to do don’t work, so they get progressively more extreme in adopting disordered eating, amputating organs, or becoming dependent on drugs that cause gas with oily discharge. People can market stuff like this not because people are stupid or lazy, but because they can do everything “right” and still be very fat.
Heck, just look at their stats. 3000 calories a day? Please! I’m a fat man and I eat considerably less than that. But because I’m fat, it is assumed I must be eating 3000, 4000, 5000 calories or more. So everyone thinks I just need to get with the program and eat right. Well, except for the people who think I ought to consider pooping myself.
Heh, I saw an ad for this drug and thought to myself, “Either this drug is a complete load of crap or it has a terrible side effect…” Turns out I was right on both counts.
I wouldn’t be surprised if gas and discharges turn out to be the lesser side effects in the long run.
If this drug takes off (which I highly doubt) I predict that we’ll be seeing ass-maxi pads within a year. “Kotex Lunchtime.”
Hemorroids and IBD, which is a truly punished-by-God combination. I cannot imagine the misery of taking this stuff, given my medical history.
I have a novel idea of how it works: the patient keeps crapping herself and gets fired, thus being unable to afford food, so losing weight.
Ergh. Gag. So, since it’s doing so well in California, can we expect Hollywood to promote stained pants as a fashion statement?
Damn. And yet I’m not surprised that this is selling well because as a society we have a completely fucked-up relationship with food, exercise, and our own bodies. Liposuction can kill you and people go for that. I bet you could sell tapeworms for $10 a pop and do okay. We are so desperate to be thin and yet don’t seem to give a rusty goddamn about general health. Ugh.
You know, I could have sworn that laxative abuse was both well documented as a form of eating disorder and seems to produce similar results.
Considering how gassy I am this drug is a no-go anyway.
We are so desperate to be thin and yet don’t seem to give a rusty goddamn about general health.
No, no, no, that’s not true. If we are confronted with a fat woman (which is basically anyone wearing size 12 and up) who is happy with her body (OH GROSS NO!) then we get up in arms about Obesity Means Being Unhealthy and setting examples of Bad Health For The Children.
Please, won’t someone think of the children!?
Can the diet industry find more disgusting side effects for their faux-treatments? I don’t think so. Leaking uncontrollably from the anus seems to be a show stopper and I can definitely cut 225 calories out of a 3000 calorie diet without subjecting myself to that or getting rid of my favorite indulgences. Why is it that people will pay good money for crap like this and then have to pay more to solve the side effects rather than learn enough about nutrition to make good choices? *Bangs head on desk* I keep forgetting- the ads tell them to.
This drug is an over-the-counter version of the drug Xenical, which, if I remember correctly, was first introduced a few years back.
When Xenical first came out, my doctor prescribed it for me. It was effective and it was stressed that it was to be used to supplement a low fat healthy diet and exercise regime and not to be used as a substitute for those things or a quick fix. I did not experience any of the side effects, but while I was on it I stuck to a healthy diet as recommended.
I think its important to remember that the side effects that every one is making fun of are just that–side effects. They are not the desired effect of the drug nor the means to the weight loss. When you go on the drug, you are made very aware that these side effects will occur if you eat a diet that is not low in fat, and you are told that if you stray from your healthy diet, you should reconsider using the drug.
I was at Walgreens this past week and saw the packaging of Alli. It stressed that you needed to ask yourself some questions before beginning use of the drug, such as: are you ready to commit to a healthy diet and exercise plan? are you able to commit to losing gradual weight?
As far as I could tell, this drug isn’t being marketed as a quick fix but as a part of a comprehensive weight loss plan. Sure, any diet plan can be misused or abused. And drug can be misused or abused. But if used right, this medication can be an aide to those people that have had a difficult time losing weight even when they adhere to a healthy lifestyle.
Am I the only one thinking of patenting a new use for maxi pads?
Dialogue at the office:
“Omigod, Karen totally smells like poo today.”
“She just walked past me a minute ago and I didn’t see any shit stains on her pants, so you must be imagining things.”
Ah, yes, because everyone knows that being fat causes clinical depression and weight loss magically cures that depression.
/sarcasm
Ironically, I wasn’t able to lose weight until I’d been on Wellbutrin and in twice-a-week therapy for over a year. Because my weight gain was a symptom of depression, Dr. Genius, not a cause.
I basically agree with everything Kat says. I looked into alli a while ago (I’ve been strugling with more and more weight gain b/c of my mental problems, and while I’m getting the help I need psychologically, I need help with my weight and activeness all over again), and I feel that GlaxoSmithKline is actually being pretty responsible with their marketing of the product. Pretty much every piece of paper and web page has some variation of the strict guidelines and side effects.
Of course, many people are going to ignore this, either in thinking that it will be a new quick fix, or by shunning the product in sort of a pseudo-protest because people will make quick-fix assumptions (FYI, no one here is acting like that). Most of the time that dreck comes from people that assume that all overweight people are severely lazy and don’t care.
I’ll definitely bring it up with my doctor the next time I see her.
Does anyone recall Dave Barry’s “Poop yourself thin” diet in Stay Fit and Healthy Until you’re Dead?
Yeah, that’s adds to the stupidity. Isn’t 225 calories like two pieces of bread, or something? Or the cup of yougurt we were going to cut anyway.
As another IBDer, I’ll chime in and say overnight pads ARE good for anal coverage. But I wouldn’t willingly go through that.
I lost 20 pounds on the Ulcerative Colitis Diet … I wonder if I can get people to buy my diet plan …
I think its important to remember that the side effects that every one is making fun of are just that–side effects. They are not the desired effect of the drug nor the means to the weight loss.
Well, actually, they kind of are the means to the weight loss. The drug works by stopping your body from absorbing fat. And if it’s not absorbed by your body, it has to come out at the other end. Which means frequent, oily poos. And is that even safe? Your body needs fat. And if you’re eating more fat than your body needs, isn’t the answer to cut back on it instead of taking pills?
“It’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work”
Is being fat really a worse fate than shitting yourself at work? Really?
I wonder how butt plugs are selling in California right now…
The alli ad campaign could pay off the debts of a small 3rd world country. TV spots crowd in among the usual heard of car ads that run with small news breaks in the 10:00 slot. Vanity Fair arrived with a fat, folded Alli ad insert glued to a page.
Hope they put some of that wealth aside as a provision for a class action suit for dry cleaning reimbursment.
remember olestra?
“It’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work,” the drug’s official website says
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I have mild IBS and have learned to control it most of the time, but I can’t imagine why people would willingly put themselves through something like it–if that’s what this drug tends to do.
Holy shit,
this has to be the funniest side effect for an attempt to lose weight. If I would see anyone have soiled pants I would laugh so hard and make fun of it and the product.
Not just to be mean, but because if one truely has to lose weight a pill does not seem to be the best way (mainly because of ‘interesting’ side effects).
I wonder if the drug’s effectiveness turns out to be that you start tending to avoid the fattier foods, because the side effects are just so gross. That would make it similar to Antabuse, the drug that some alcoholics take, not because it cures them, but because it reinforces their sobriety. Drinking plus Antabuse makes you sickety sick sick sick.
But in the interim, while desperate dieters get acclimated to the drug, OMG, offices had better start paying the lavatory cleaning staff a little more and installing Depends and underpants vending machines. Hmm. Could a sole proprietor make a money selling fresh underpants on the street? Picture me with my trench coat, thrown open to reveal an assortment of Hanes bikinis, briefs, boxers. Or should we invest in bidet futures?
(Do not think I am unsympathetic. I too have experienced the heartbreak of IBS.)
Huh? Might you elborate, Lauren? I’m not finding “gassy” in the dictionary anywhere.
As someone who took the drug, I can tell you that this is not the effectiveness. When taken properly (as in, while adhering to a low-fat healthy diet and exercise plan) it does give an added benefit to your efforts and helps you be more successful.
I doubt many people who experience the side effects will stick to it for very long, so I doubt plans to stock the office lavatory with Depends are necessary. This drug has been on the market for awhile now (as a prescription), and so far we don’t have a population of shit-stained people walking about. Sure, now that its available over-the-counter, it will be used by people who don’t need it or don’t follow the instructions. But I doubt many people will experience the side effects (caused by continuing to eat a high-fat diet while on the drug despite warnings) and stay on it for long.
I have heard a lot of juvenile joking about the poop stains and the dark pants over the course of the last week. The side effects of this drug are being blown so far out of context so that we can all get a laugh at the expense of the poor fat people who are so desperate to lose weight that they turn to drugs such as these. Its all starting to sound a bit fat-shaming to me…. “if they would just not eat as much as get some exercise, they wouldn’t be so FAT!”, “they wouldn’t have to SHIT THEIR PANTS”.
I would have really liked to have seen a discussion about the release of this drug as an OTC medicine center around the negative way overweight people are viewed in our society, or the pressure we feel to be thin, thin, thin. But instead we make “oops, I shit my pants” jokes.
You know, its one thing to lose 5 or 10 lbs. Its another thing entirely to lose 50 or 100. That can take months and months, sometimes even years, and there can be setbacks along the way. Most people who have lost that much will tell you that they tried many, many times to lose weight or to sustain the weight loss they have achieved. Consistently seeing gradual weight loss is a real boost to your morale when you are trying to stick to a long-term changing-your-lifestyle sort of diet, and this drug can be part of that success.
I took this drug, it helped me, I didn’t shit my pants.
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Kat, this is actually kind of what I meant about the side effects. There’s a kind of deterrent effect that I would not dismiss as being ridiculous or negligible. If you stick to the plan, you get the benefits, which include weight loss as well as few or no side effects. If you try to use it as the “magic bullet” so many of us are looking for, you will be uncomfortable.
And I can’t say I have any objection to alli being available over the counter, even if some people do use it in a somewhat “off-label” manner (I’m thinking it could seem like a remedy that people might use when they know they are going to overeat at some kind of party or event, so they might take it and plan for the side effects). Any medication can be misused; after a certain point, you have to trust people’s judgment.
But frankly, if it’s true that the manufacturer’s materials suggest wearing dark pants and bringing a change of clothes, well damn, that seems pretty manipulative, or cavalier, at least. They’re implying that it’s a laughing matter. Maybe their intent is to reduce the stigma by naming it. I don’t know.
I am glad to hear this drug can be an effective adjunct, Kat. I’m not making fun of fat people. But everyone in our culture is incredibly uneasy about weight, and it’d be no surprise to find out, after a few months, that the primary consumers of OTC alli are those of us who are concerned about that stubborn extra 15 pounds (or in my case, an extra 25 pounds), or that many of its users will either discontinue it, or will be forced to take a serious look at its intended adjunct purpose – to effect a long-term permanent change in eating and exercise habits.
For those folks who are saying that people who might take these pills really need to be more educated/be vegetarian/eat less and exercise more, please take a look at this article over at Junkfood Science. The relevant information is about a third of the way down the page.
Basically, if you go on any kind of diet (even the “healthy living and exercise” type diets), you are pretty much guaranteed to gain that weight back within five years. Also, I don’t have the cite for this offhand but can look for it if anyone wants it, but larger people don’t tend to eat any more than smaller people. It’s not about “fat people eat too much” or any of the other silly myths that are spread around about how fat people are losets with no self-control.
Also, overweight people tend to live the longest anyway (once again, I can dig up a cite for this).
I’ve been working on some gradual changes re: food & exercise & I’ve lost 50 pounds so far. I’m still overweight, but I feel a lot better with the changes I’ve made. I can’t see taking a drug like this given its side effects. I’m stepping up the exercise and watching portions. Granted, there are some folks who have medical problems which make weight loss difficult, if not impossible. But in my case, it was simply a matter of what was advised in an old Bloom County comic strip–exercise more, eat less.
Larkspur, sorry I didn’t mean to say that it wasn’t a deterrent to eating poorly, what I meant was to clarify that that’s not its intended purpose. I think I worded that sentence poorly. Absolutely, knowing the side effects if you derail from a healthy diet makes most people think twice before impulse eating something unhealthy. When I was on it, that was certainly on my mind and I have to admit it was helpful because I am a chronic impulse eater, and very weak around temptations (like if someone brings donuts to the office, etc.). But what I meant to say was that I don’t think that’s the basis of the drug’s approach. In that way I think it may be different from Antabuse, which I think actually is exactly intended to create an adverse effect when someone falls off the wagon (I don’t know much about Antabuse though so maybe I’m wrong on that point.) But certainly for me it helped me really think about whether that donut was really worth it….
From what my doctor told me, the purpose of this drug is to reduce the amount of fat your body absorbs. It doesn’t block all of it. Excess is expelled, which is the reason for the side effects. Its pretty clear in the literature that if you eat more than 15 grams of fat at any given meal while taking alli, you will have negative effects.
A co-worker confided in me on Friday that she had bought the drug. She is overweight. I told her that I had been on the drug a few years back and she wanted to know about my experiences. I am glad that the side effects of the drug are being presented so openly. They could easily play them down. I didn’t have any adverse effects, but I also followed the instructions pretty carefully, and I let her know that. She spent a lot of time considering if she was ready to do the plan, and getting ready. I think this is good thing.
Everyone has their own way of losing or maintaining their weight. Diet and exercise work great for some people. Others may need a little extra help. As for me, I generally stick to a Weight Watchers kind of eating plan… I don’t call it a diet because I never quite seem to lose weight and I don’t obsess about it. I like that with WW, nothing is off limits but you learn to balance your indulgences with an overall healthy lifestyle. I am 40 and still struggling with maintaining that–at this point in my life its less about looks (I’m in a take-me-as-I-am stage now) but more about health.
Good information, Kat. And BTW, despite everything that’s been developed or promoted in recent decades, I still think that Weight Watchers is most people’s best bet. When I was growing up, my parents were always trying to lose weight. They got their skinniest on the classic 60′s diet pill regime. (Skinny, yup, and absolutely nuts.) But periodically, they’d go back to the Weight Watchers plan, and I liked it because we never ate better than when we were all on WW. All those “free” vegetables…coming from a Swanson’s TV dinner or a trip to the A&W-type cuisine, WW seemed almost exotic. WW keeps developing different methods of the plan, but the program seems to retain its basic value.
And it’s all about health for me, too. I’m carrying that extra 25 as middle-aged visceral fat, all in the mid-section. It feels almost like it ought to be detachable, like a camper shell or a movie prop. But nope. My diet could be better, but I hike a lot, and I avoid high fat foods. It hasn’t been enough, but I’m pretty sure alli wouldn’t be all that helpful.
3000 calories a day? Who eats that much? And if all you lose is 200-300 calories, just skip a snack and you’ll have the same effect. Honestly, even if this stuff works great and makes you super thin and all that jazz, you’ll still be the chick who crapped her pants during the staff meeting. And won’t you start gaining it all back as soon as you stopped taking it? No oily anal leakage=no weight loss.