I think you’re running into a couple of problems here.

First, expectations. Many companies–at the corporate level–have said that nursing mothers can ask for and use dressing rooms as private nursing spaces. In many cases, the corporate level decision hasn’t made it down to the individual store level, or, employees at the store level decide not to implement the policy due to personal bias/disgust/what have you.

The few times I’ve nursed le babe in a dressing room, I was also shopping at the store and planning to purchase clothing there. The two aren’t mutually exclusive–in fact, I’d expect they’d be often combined. One reason I’d be in a store long enough for le babe to want to nurse would be because I was considering purchases. If I was just out and about and expecting that le babe was going to want to nurse again soon, I’d seek out something like a Starbucks or cafe-type-place (or food court), purchase something for me, and sit down in a corner to nurse le babe.

Although, as I said above, I’ve gotten to the point where I’m not going to seek out even a place to sit down if le babe suddenly and desperately proclaims a need to nurse. I can’t decide whether to invest in a sling now, though–le babe always refused to nurse in the infant-size pouch sling we had (and he’s outgrown) although the one night recently I tried out a bedsheet-sling at home in desperation (because he wanted me to walk and nurse him and my arms were tired), he was quite happy to nurse in that.

Second, outside of the spitup which happens with both bottle and breast fed babes, I–and probably most women around here who have breastfed–have a hard time picturing how breastfeeding can get that messy. I have overactive letdown (which is not that common), which means the boob may spray if le babe pops off at the beginning of letdown. First, he doesn’t generally pop off. Second, I’ve never had a spray get anything except his face or his/my clothing. And you’re not talking about something as major as spilling a bottle: the spray is just a little bit of milk, although it might be coming out under a fair amount of pressure.

I mean, I find pumping messy (especially at the end, when you’re trying to capture all the milk all over the inside of the damn horns) and I’ve never lost more than drops. I know exactly how pumping could get messy–I’m terrified of a bottle spill, since I have to pump in the file room–but I’ve not had that issue at work *knock on wood*

Putting breastmilk in bottles for consumption “out in public” is going to be messier than attempting to feed directly from the breast. Le babe liked to let milk from the bottle dribble out the side of his mouth, liked to take mouthfuls of milk from the bottle and then spit, (and, since he mainly rejected bottles at 10 months, now likes to seize them and throw them across the room).

Although, if you do want to talk about messy, I did once dump 4oz of pumped breastmilk on the kitchen floor.

Yeah, ok, I don’t know what I am supposed to say. Should I not have an opinion on these things?

I don’t think having your own opinion is the problem. I think the problem is that your opinion seems to be based on some misinformation.

1) Breastfeeding is NOT a messy event, so to suggest that breastfeeding in the dressing room creates an unsanitary environment or puts an undue burden on you as a retail worker by creating extra cleaning work is not in context with the reality of breastfeeding.

2) Its basic Business 101 that creating foot traffic in your store increases sales. Women on their way to the dressing room to nurse a baby are exposed to the products in your store and the service of the employees, and are prime targets to focus sales efforts. Stores provide all kinds of services (ATMs come to mind) that don’t produce a direct profit but instead are designed to lure in potential buyers. Young families have many years of product buying in front of them so they are desirable customers. Some progressive retailers (IKEA for instance) are cashing in on this reality by creating a very family-friendly environment. Its the job of the salesperson to turn potential customers into customers, and then to encourage their loyalty to create repeat business. The buy-something-or-don’t-bother-me attitude is not a solid long-term business practice.

3) As a retail worker (and I have been one) you will spend days folding and refolding shirts, rehanging clothes that were tried on and not purchased, cleaning up crap left behind by customers, and otherwise providing customer service to people you may or may not like. You will deal with people all day every day. Its the job and not everyone is cut out for it.

I have said several times that I am not against breast feeding, and that I am totally ok with moving towards a culture that embraces topless women. All I ever said was that I don’t want women breast feeding in my store’s dressing rooms- asking for a little sympathy for a person working minimum wage, who doesn’t want to get yelled at by her boss for allowing people to be using the dressing rooms when they are not making money for the store. The only reason I kept talking about it was that people kept addressing me by name, arguing that I was a terrible person for bringing up that I don’t think women should breast feed in a spot not designed for breast feeding, and that I had to be lying about being forced to clean without training or equipment, even when other people backed me up that this is an issue in the retail world. I would love to have a spot for women to breast feed, but that is not what my store has- but I think its a good idea.

As for taking my job too seriously, I am sorry about that, but you know what? Working retail is a stressful job for someone who suffers from an awful case of depression. I don’t think I am a special snowflake, and you are really pretty mean to accuse someone with low self esteem of that. I would love to work somewhere else, but I can’t.

And I don’t see how bringing up social issues such as terrible working conditions on a feminist blog is a terrible thing. Perhaps the wrong forum, but as I said, I only brought it up because women were suggesting that mothers should breast-feed in dressing rooms, and I disagreed. I said I thought the food court was fine because so many women said they wanted to bf in public, and that makes me a bad person that I agreed? That’s what everyone on the thread was praising Ms Gyllenhaal for.

I have worked minimum wage retail, and I think your attitude is out of line. I have had to do all the things you’ve bitched about and guess what, hon? It’s all a part of freakin retail. You don’t have to love your job, but is that really any excuse to take it out on poor women who are just trying to provide the best sustenance available for their child.

All of your posts have been all about poor little you, in your sucky retail job. Try raising a kid, that’s a job of constant clean up and no appreciation, on top off having to deal with hysterical prudes and mouth breathers like you, who freak out cuz she doesn’t want to face the social stigma of feeding her child in public.

And what’s really sad is that you can’t even just let it go, but you continue to come back to screech why we should make mothers feed in public(and be subject to stares and lewd comments) or feed in bathrooms(would you eat there?). Your attitude is that your a special snowflake, and nursing mothers should just go to hell.

And just out of curiousity, do you own the store? Cuz you take all of these common retail offenses, just a little too personally.

I mean, your attitude towards customers seems pretty far removed from the customer service that I want in a store where I would spend my money.

Do you really think most people who deal with the public actually like the public? I can fake it with the best of them, but after an 8 hour shift, who could like people? How many people scream at you in a shift where you work? How many people try to scam you? How many people try to mess up your display?

Stores are there to sell products, of course, but they are also there to provide a comfortable atmosphere for people to shop — otherwise we’d just buy everything online. “Buy our shit or get the fuck out” isn’t going to attract customers — at the very least, it won’t attract a clientele that cares about the store.

To shop, not to hang around. I understand when people come in to browse, say, to buy something, but they can’t find what they want. People who are just wandering aimlessly, with no intention whatsoever of supporting your store- that annoys me. Again, I don’t know where you work, but have you ever had people abandon carts of groceries, many of which are melting, at your work? I have. Ever had someone mess up all your t-shirts you just folded? I have. Ever have people just wander in to sit around and take up space? Ever have people eat the groceries in the store and leave chicken wing bones and empty boxes on the shelves? Ever have people shoplift from you? How about people who come in off the street just to make your bathrooms gross? Ever have someone go into the dressing room only to leave all the clothes on the floor, stepped on, spilled on, and otherwise unsaleable?

Fuck, have you ever worked minimum wage retail? It sucks, and I want to see who you know who loves their job after years of this awfulness.

I’m pregnant with my first, so I don’t know what it will be like when I try to bf — I may be unable to do so, or I may face many of the challenges faced by nursing moms in the past. But I decided early on in my pregnancy that I needed to adopt the following attitude: “I will affirmatively displease people with my personal choices, but that’s okay, because I don’t need to please anyone other than myself, my kid, and (maybe) my spouse.” Every choice women make regarding pregnancy and child care is fetishized in the extreme and seemingly for the sole purpose of making every woman feel inadequate and ashamed. Fuck that noise. I don’t even have a kid yet and I’m tired of it.

As for the sexualized breast issue, I wonder if it would be a good product idea to have a breastfeeding cover-up made of a very light mesh (so as to keep the baby cool) and have a pair of big bikini boobs silk-screened on it. Think that would throw the mall cops and the mouth-breathing dickwads off the scent?

And when you let people into the dressing room, you don’t know what they’re going to do in there. We’ve had kids puke and drunk men pee on the floor. We’ve had teenagers sneak other teenagers in with stolen boxes of condoms and have sex.

Did I ever say I thought this was ok? Did I ever say, “Jeez, not breast feeding moms, but drunk teens and urinators and sex?” No, I did not.

And when you say that’s not a dressing room’s purpose, I have to ask you: what place has that specific purpose? Certainly not a bathroom or a food court. I’ve never heard of a breastfeeding room, frankly.

Apparently they have them at Toys R Us. But you know what? A lack of a room for bfers does not mean they should do it in the dressing rooms. Those are for people to try on clothes, so that they will buy them and keep our store in the black so that I can pay my water bill. I don’t want anyone coming in the store to fuck around, and I dislike people who have no intention of buying things coming in and unfolding shirts and taking up dressing rooms. I don’t want teens hanging out there, I don’t want old people demanding lipstick samples from the Clinique counter, I dislike people who are clearly only taking up space in my store. Hell, why not? Let people bf in my store, as long as they promise to buy something, and to clean up after themselves (it seems there are people verifying that there are occasional messes from babies breast feeding.)

MJ- thanks, I knew I couldn’t be living in some crazy world where I was the only one with sucky work conditions, and people who don’t get it.

Under what circumstances does anyone [, but friend/stranger male/female and adult/child may all be important, ] converse with a woman who is breast feeding?

I’d say to go off her actions. If she’s sitting in a private or semi-private location, maybe hold of and allow her the privacy. If you’re a server and she’s bfing at the table, the amount of conversation that would be expected

I personally don’t care much. I also have a snacker of a babe, who will suddenly and quite loudly proclaim his need to eat but be satisfied with a relatively short nursing session. Either I need to work my way through a shop looking for a place to sit down with a squalling babe, or I can put him into cradle hold, pop him on the boob, and walk around with him.

You actually see LESS if I’m walking around with him, because he “hugs” the breast to keep it steady, thus covering even the minimal amount of bare skin that would otherwise be seen. And he pulls the shirt down when finished, so exposure is very limited.