Courtesy of Broadsheet, our attention is brought to an article in the Calgary Herald, charmingly entitled:
Do hunky men make women smarter?
I once worked in close proximity to a major urban news desk. I’ve written news stories, and been on the other side too, with a stint as a magazine editor. But I still can’t stifle my urge to throttle idiotic editors and kerning flunkies who make up headlines like this. Of course, the story is actually about mice, not people; it’s about potential medical advances that could repair the damaged brain tissue of victims of strokes and accidents, not “making women smarter.” Even for the mice, it’s not about being “smarter,” it’s about very specific mating behaviors.
I can’t entirely blame whoever wrote the headline though, unless they also crammed this ridiculous lead onto the top:
It’s not just the muscles, or the confidence, or the chiselled cheekbones. Nor is it the flashy sportscar or the charming arrogance. No, the charms of the alpha male — the guy who stands out above lesser mortals — may actually help women become smarter.
Whoa, stop the presses! We’d better issue an Are Your Children In Danger? alert immediately on this one! I mean, with all the pressure on middle-class suburban teens these days to excel and get into college, this could cause your daughters to run down to the nearest Gold’s Gym and start HUFFING ON BODYBUILDERS to try and improve their SAT scores. Don’t think it couldn’t happen!
On second thought, maybe we should have a little recap of some Science Facts, and simultaneously expose all of you to my mania for numbered lists:
1. The hypothesis being advanced by the researchers here is that female mice generate new brain cells when exposed to the pheromones of alpha male mice–apparently for a specific purpose. What is this purpose? Well according to their observations, the brain growth seems to help female mice recognize alpha male mice again! I might be missing something here that’s in the original paper, but this sounds a lot like saying “smelling an apple pie helps my brain recognize the scent of apple pies when I encounter them again!” It might be more substantial than that, but still, this doesn’t come as a huge surprise.
2. Although mice are used in experiments like this because of their neurological similarities to humans, that doesn’t necessarily mean this same mechanism is present in human beings. Human mating behavior is substantially different than mice mating behavior, no matter how many online ads for “all-natural human pheromones” and manuals with titles like “Be An Alpha Male: The Art of Picking Up Hot Chicks” might insist otherwise.
3. The researchers’ ideas about the possibilities based on their findings aren’t related to mating or even to gender. They’re looking at what’s going on at a more basic, chemical level: if certain chemicals stimulate brain growth, then maybe we can create something based on those chemicals that will help repair damaged brains! Hey, good idea, scientists. And amazingly, doesn’t involve anything stupid related to “hunky guys make girls smarter!”
4. Brain size doesn’t automatically mean you’re smarter. People used to believe this back in the 19th century, when they’d cut open the skulls of dead scientists to weigh the Great Man’s weighty brain, and exclaim at its rubbery ponderousness. This is the stuff of cranial measurements and anthropometry. More recently, as Tracy-Clark Flory points out, a correlation has been noted between density of brain cells in some parts of the brain, and intelligence. I’m not even going to get into the difficulties of actually measuring “intelligence,” but I could start a whole nested, numbered list on the problems of confusing correlation with causation. It’s not even clear in this other line of scientific research whether having more brain cells actually “makes you smarter” or whether “smarter people” just tend to work their brains out harder and grow more brain cells as a result.
5. People really ought to check their culturally-driven assumptions when reporting on science. I mean, “hunky guys make women smarter?” Come on. Supposedly, scientists are trained to think more rigorously about this stuff, although I have my doubts (as do relatives of mine who actually train scientists). The same is sadly not true of science reporters–or whoever slapped the headline and lead on this story.
I can assure you, my wife has not become any smarter over the years, despite being married to a guy who exudes sexiness/hunkiness/virility (and chocolate…mmmmm).
*snort* I cannot imagine what kind of benefit would have to be conferred before I walked around the gym sniffing people.
“Did you want to work in?”
“No, no, I just thought that since you were benching, it would be the ideal angle for sticking my nose in your armpit if I can manage to avoid the bar.”
Holly,
I agree with your assessment – that the science was about finding a mechanism that jump starts brain growth, with the possibility that it can be tailored to other uses.
Sounds to me like being exposed to hunky mice just caused the female mice to have a crush on them, and to create new brain cells to recognize them later. While this may be a big boost for the survival of the mice, what’s to do with intelligence?
If, after being exposed to the hunky mice, the females had done measurably better on other tests of intelligence, then the headline might be appropriate.
Meanwhile, inquiring minds want to know — what was the effect on brain cell development among beta male mice when exposed to the alphas, or when exposed to the females who weren’t reacting to them? Do their brains react? Do they mail off for Charles Atlas mouselbuilding courses?
Did the new brain cells correlate to ANY behavioral changes in the females? The article says that once the new brain cells were developed, the female mice could then successfully choose the dominant mice. Does this mean that they couldn’t successfully choose the dominant mice before?
Maybe the old Hai Karate ads had a basis in science.
Holly,
I you. Please share numbered lists…even nested numbered lists…particularly any lists that cover the differences between causation and correlation.
I believe there are competing theories about beta male mouse behavior:
theory a) Beta male mice hang around waiting until the alpha male mice aren’t looking, then seduce female mice with promises of trips to Italy and “not sitting around on the couch watching mouse football all the time.”
theory b) Beta male mice get resentful, kick over a garbage can, write on their livejournal about how the female mice never call back after the first date and how all female mice are tramps anyway, then whine at successive female mice until one of them feels guilty/threatened enough to mate.
theory c) Beta male mice leave the mouse nest and go off to start a successful mouse software company, then come back in a little mouse sportscar, which disrupts the alpha male / female pheromone interaction long enough for the beta male to mate with the female.
theory d aka the “Raymond-Daly Theory”) Beta male mice dress up like female mice to confuse the alpha males, then secretly mate with female mice while claiming to be “lesbian mice.”
Errr. that should have been I (heart) you…serves me right for trying to type on a conference call.
Holly, I like your beta mice theory much better than the original article. The fact that you manage to include explain Nice Guys (TM) while simultaneously mocking radfem explanations for MTFs…. I’m in awe!
I’m so glad I’m a Beta.
Well, coming out of the Calgary Herald, I can’t exactly say I’m surprised. Oh, Calgary. You’d think with your booming economy and rapid influx of people, you’d start to develop slightly more enlightened attitudes.
NOPE! Instead, you’re gearing up for a 10-day long party where teh menz get to enjoy doing body shots off women at the same club where Prince Harry was hooking up with a bartender.
*headdesk*
Edmonton’s way better.
theory d aka the “Raymond-Daly Theory”) Beta male mice dress up like female mice to confuse the alpha males, then secretly mate with female mice while claiming to be “lesbian mice.”
And the stranger thing is, this is a real strategy employed by some beta males, for example, in some species of cuttlefish. Some smaller males will mimic the coloration of females while the larger males are courting, swim right past the larger males and pass a sperm packet to the female while the larger males are trying to look impressive. They call them “sneakers.”
Seriously, do people in Calgary still describe handsome men as “hunky”? I haven’t heard anyone say “hunky” since Full House went off the air.
Also, I’m having way too much fun picturing a muscular, arrogant mouse tooling around in a sportscar, trying to impress the mouse-ladies (who are gaining intelligence by watching!).
Oh, the popularization of science. Don’t even get me started on how the one, very limited experiment on “The Mozart Effect” says nothing about how playing sonatas to a fetus will produce a genius-baby.
Oh yeah, I know! That’s part of why I included that theory… well, cuttlefish as well as side-blotched lizards.
I learned it all from this book, which coincidentally was presented to me as a mating offering, I mean uh, as a present from someone I was dating.
Oh yeah.
I feel smarter when I don’t look at the “science” articles in newspapers.
Does that mean I’m growing new brain cells as we speak?
Depends, are there any smelly men around?
Actually, there was just a post on this at The Book Blog at the Hathor Legacy, with plenty of great recommendations, though the books skew to a slightly older crowd. (Teens and ‘YA’ books.)
I’m making a t-shirt: Gurls 4 BETA.
Holly,
Enjoyed your theories on beta mice. Here is an addition you may want to consider:
e.) beta mice open up agribusiness/fast food consortiums and use targeted ads to encourage alpha mice to gorge themselves to maintain their virility. Once actual effects are apparent, alphas become gammas and betas find fertile ground to initiate relationships with female mice.
The theories on the mating habits of beta mice are making me giggle.
Dr. Confused: I totally agree re: science reporting sucks most of the time (change “most” to “all” whenever anything involving sex or parenting is the subject) and needs to be treated with extreme caution, but do you have any advice for those of us who like to learn about science but don’t have the skills to understand actual science papers (which… I took college science requirement this year, and one thing that class taught me is that I really really really do not have the skills to understand actual science papers. I did learn a lot about various forms of marine life and also about how humans are destroying the environment, though. Plus I got to see an anemone mating which was pretty sweet. uh what was I saying?) Oh yeah: any tips for getting my science fix without crying because I’m having flashbacks to the eighth time in my life someone tried to explain to me acids & bases, which, incidentally, I still do not understand at all, not even a little bit?