Dr. Confused: I totally agree re: science reporting sucks most of the time (change “most” to “all” whenever anything involving sex or parenting is the subject) and needs to be treated with extreme caution, but do you have any advice for those of us who like to learn about science but don’t have the skills to understand actual science papers (which… I took college science requirement this year, and one thing that class taught me is that I really really really do not have the skills to understand actual science papers. I did learn a lot about various forms of marine life and also about how humans are destroying the environment, though. Plus I got to see an anemone mating which was pretty sweet. uh what was I saying?) Oh yeah: any tips for getting my science fix without crying because I’m having flashbacks to the eighth time in my life someone tried to explain to me acids & bases, which, incidentally, I still do not understand at all, not even a little bit?

Enjoyed your theories on beta mice. Here is an addition you may want to consider:

e.) beta mice open up agribusiness/fast food consortiums and use targeted ads to encourage alpha mice to gorge themselves to maintain their virility. Once actual effects are apparent, alphas become gammas and betas find fertile ground to initiate relationships with female mice.

Does that mean I’m growing new brain cells as we speak?

Depends, are there any smelly men around?

Does that mean I’m growing new brain cells as we speak?

And the stranger thing is, this is a real strategy employed by some beta males, for example, in some species of cuttlefish.

Oh yeah, I know! That’s part of why I included that theory… well, cuttlefish as well as side-blotched lizards.

In the side-blotched lizard (Uta stansburiana), males have one of three throat colors, each one declaring a particular strategy. Dominant, orange-throated males establish large territories within which live several females. But these territories are vulnerable to infiltration by males with yellow-striped throats — known as sneakers — who mimic the markings and behavior of receptive females. The orange males can’t successfully defend all their females against these disguised interlopers, who cluster on the fringes of the territories held by the orange lizards.

I learned it all from this book, which coincidentally was presented to me as a mating offering, I mean uh, as a present from someone I was dating.

Oh yeah.

Also, I’m having way too much fun picturing a muscular, arrogant mouse tooling around in a sportscar, trying to impress the mouse-ladies (who are gaining intelligence by watching!).

And the stranger thing is, this is a real strategy employed by some beta males, for example, in some species of cuttlefish. Some smaller males will mimic the coloration of females while the larger males are courting, swim right past the larger males and pass a sperm packet to the female while the larger males are trying to look impressive. They call them “sneakers.”