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  1. Cola Johnson
    Cola Johnson August 13, 2007 at 6:56 pm |

    I take pains to remind myself that if my criticisms are valid and they offend people, the problem is not mine. Much as I would like to make everyone happy, no one likes to hear someone else knock what they love, however gently. We can’t very well compromise our analyses by an over use of qualifiers simply to safeguard the feelings of others.

    Whether you like something is irrelevant when you are criticising it; it’s the criticism that matters. If people are more eager to draw you away from your argument by accusing you of not liking it, they aren’t considering what could be legitimate concerns. I deal with this, too. People assume that because I’m a feminist pointing out the sexism inherent in certain games and movies that I’m questioning the interest of those who like them and somehow personally insulting them. Responses are all a variation on “but I liked it!” as though that were even the issue.

    I’m often a fan of the things I’m criticising, but that’s just not the point. Nothing is perfect. If others just can’t see the flaws in the things they love, it’s not your fault.

  2. Alix
    Alix August 13, 2007 at 8:05 pm |

    Hm. This post really speaks to me, because I’m always being either the criticizer or the devil’s advocate. (I think it’s largely because too many people in my life are TOO agreeable…)

    In person, I deal with it by modulating my tone. I come across (on my good days) as either sardonic/wry or pointedly curious, which goes a LONG way towards undermining others’ defensiveness. Online, when I actually get off my ass and write posts, I try to stick to the advice my creative writing teacher offered – give at least three substantial compliments and three substantial criticisms in each critique. The number doesn’t have to be perfectly balanced, but they all have to be solid.

    Mostly, though, I just try to be polite and humorous. Tone really does count for an awful lot, as does honesty and thoughtfulness and a good laugh. Sure, it doesn’t stop trolls, and it won’t stop the entrenched opposition from taking shots at you, but it helps.

    I think it is especially important to criticize what we love. We want what we love to be better, we want it to last, we do not want it to be shown up as shallow or wrong, and criticism addresses that. If we didn’t criticize (and take criticism from) our fellow feminists, for example, feminism itself could easily blunder its way into irrelevancy or worse.

    But the trick to criticism is to criticize with love.

    And I am being longwinded, so I shall shut up.

  3. j swift
    j swift August 13, 2007 at 8:19 pm |

    “I just wish I had a choice for it to look different.”

    Huh? Just buy something that covers her up and looks different for the Light’s sake!

  4. Nicole
    Nicole August 13, 2007 at 8:30 pm |

    It is possible to still be a fan of something, while recognize that that thing (movie, comic book, etc.) is still filtered through a culture which has a lot of things you may disagree with.

    I love comic books, but I know that they are predominantly created by men, so everything that is portrayed is filtered through that. (I’m actually working on a degree project for school about how the male gaze manifests in superhero comics and how female fans respond to that.) It makes you an active participant in your media consumption, rather just a passive consumer.

  5. Alix
    Alix August 13, 2007 at 8:40 pm |

    Nicole – exactly. I, for one, am still a huge Lovecraft fan, despite his racism and sexism. Doesn’t mean I don’t find his racism horrific (if sadly typical of his time) and his sexism wrong (and a little weird – I can’t explain why), but his stories are still, to this day, the only things that have ever really creeped me out, and to this day, I still think they’re the best at showing what happens when the human mind runs into something it can’t handle. Neither the goodness or the badness ever overcomes the other.

    But I think a lot of people are still stuck in a dualistic mode of thought – something is either wholly good or wholly bad. Er, no, and thus, I criticize. AND praise.

  6. Miller
    Miller August 13, 2007 at 9:51 pm |

    Then, of course, you get the socialization issues… a woman criticizing is “nagging” or “complaining” or “whining”… because that’s what women do.

    That’s because it’s called, “bitching.” Don’t you love how feminizing a vice, associates that vice with female nature? Being female is the ultimate act of degradation (apparently) or else “bitch” wouldn’t be the influential and celebrated slur that it is.

    Isn’t it odd to anyone else that on TV you cannot say “dick” or “shit” but you can say “bitch?”

  7. Except For That One Scene. « http://gingermiss.wordpress.com/

    [...] 14, 2007 · Filed under Minutiae, Commentary, Art I don’t really enjoy Feministe, but there is an excellent post on their blog currently which is titled, “Criticizing the [...]

  8. Torri
    Torri August 13, 2007 at 10:37 pm |

    I’m a big fan of comics and games too and it’s basically gotten to the point with me that I’m so sick of hearing arguments about the sexualisation of female characters being good/okay/expected-in-this-genre that I don’t bother with arguing the female characters should be covered up… I argue the males characters should then be more sexualised to make it fair (like final fantasy 9 and a couple of other games I could mention).
    I’m playing Lord of the Rings Online at the moment and so far in the early levels the clothing choices seem pretty even.

  9. Roxie
    Roxie August 13, 2007 at 10:54 pm |

    I wish Ginny had been expanded as well. It seemed as if she would be in the HPand the OotP, but it just didn’t happen beyond that.

  10. noen
    noen August 13, 2007 at 11:02 pm |

    I don’t know Magniloquence, there are specific techniques that you can use to help yourself be heard but they only go so far. They are awfully hard to do over the internet though. There is a lot of projection and other thought errors on blogs of all stripes. To such an extent that I wonder if it is even worth the effort to try.

  11. Lizthefair
    Lizthefair August 13, 2007 at 11:23 pm |

    I’m not sure there is much more you can do to help people understand you on this front–because I don’t think you are the one with the problem. For reasons that escape me, complexity, cognitive dissonance, or what ever you want to call is not a popular mode of thinking these days. I wish it were, but it seems arguments much deeper than–”That’s awesome” or “That sucks” are no longer signs of intelligence, but rather signs of “waffling.” It’s sad really. I hope you don’t get discouraged though, the world needs more critical thinkers.

    FWIW, I’m also glad to hear of another feminist who has some positive things to say about Transformers–as you said it had it’s issues but it certainly wasn’t a lost cause.

  12. invisible_hand
    invisible_hand August 13, 2007 at 11:32 pm |

    i actually saw the mother-son dynamic in harry potter to have the hints of postmodern subversion of the dead father topos. i know, i know, this is probably reading too much into it, but hear me out:
    in the first few books, as harry is growing up, his memories and his storied past all tend to focus on his father’s life and school tales. not only that, but as a young boy, he longs to get to know his father and take his place as the next in the potter line.
    however, as the series progresses, especially in the seventh book, we have a problematizing of the father figures. we find out about james’ mean trick on snape, and about dumbledore’s iffy past. the parent who ends up having the most impact on harry ends up being lily. it’s snape’s love for lily that made him the man he hero he became. it’s lily’s sacrifice that saved harry. harry’s most prominent inheirited attribute are his green eyes. and it’s harry TAKING AFTER HIS MOTHER, sacrificing himself for his community, that saves the day and renders voldemort powerless.
    it’s definitely true that lily is sadly not as fleshed out as the james gang, but we get glimpses of her in the snape flashback and in the letter, etc.
    still problematic, along with all epic fantasy, but it has the hints of redemptive subversion.

  13. Isabel
    Isabel August 13, 2007 at 11:48 pm |

    I felt this way strongly about Live Free or Die Hard (Transformers too, but less so because I liked Transformers less so I didn’t feel as conflicted). On the one hand, Live Free or Die Hard kicked some serious fucking ass, Bruce Willis (whom I don’t normally like that much) was kind of awesome, his geeky sidekick was sort of adorable, the script was self-aware enough that it didn’t take itself too seriously but it didn’t turn EVERYTHING into a joke. On the other hand… “Asian bitch hooker”? Really? It felt so unnecessary, and so cheap, and so, well, racist.

    I kind of also feel this way about Scrubs, my current favorite TV show–it’s actually way more feminist-friendly than the vast, vast majority of shows out there, and I have to give the creator props for stating in an interview that the staff ensures equal-gender nudity (i.e., if Carla has a sexy bra scene, there has to be JD in the shower, or something equivalent). Plus, while the female characters are all crazy dysfunctional, they’re not any MORE dysfunctional than any of the male characters, and they’re certainly not any less competent at what they do. So it hurts a bit when I do feel they fall prey to certain stereotypes (the biggest one being that with the exception of psychobitch Jordan–who is awesome–none of the female characters seem to like sex).

    Great post. I identify, as you can see :)

  14. mypunkshoes
    mypunkshoes August 14, 2007 at 12:01 am |

    I have been going through the exact same problems myself. I have been reading the Anne of Green Gables series lately, and I know that it has absurd relationships between men and women, and ideas about women’s roles that only have a certain amount to do with the time setting of the early 1910′s. But I still love them. And I hide reading these books, because I know that if anyone saw me reading them, I would only go on about how they portray all women as silly wifely possessions.

    I also wish Ginny had fought to be part of the search for Horcruxes (and the narritive in general).

  15. Kyra
    Kyra August 14, 2007 at 12:24 am |

    I remember waiting through the whole series for Harry to ask Professor Snape, “You go on and on and on about my father, why not ever anything about my mother?”

    Although my fandom-complaint quota has been entirely taken up until sometime in 2014 by Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, because I wanted Davy Jones to become one of the good guys. And they just deleted Anamaria from the sequels without a trace, what, three main-character women in an adventure pirate movie is too much? And the main characters all had fathers who got screen time, lines, major parts of the story. Their mothers, on the other hand, were all conveniently long dead and silent. I hate that, Disney, are you listening to me? I hate that.

    I’d love comic books and MMORPGs if it weren’t for the overbearing “female characters have an obligation to be sexy eye candy in addition to anything else they have to do; no matter how important or competent she is, if she’s not half-dressed there’s no reason for her to exist” epidemic. Also, why are the dark elves/night elves/whatever that weird light blue color instead of black-skinned like drow are described as? That annoys the hell out of me.

  16. Azundris
    Azundris August 14, 2007 at 12:31 am |

    (re comics)
    Ha, you think you have it bad? :) My character is Poison, educated and independent single mother, protector of Gaia, saviour of the children and the starving of the No Man’s Land. And now look what imagery they gave me in One Year Later (though, awwwww, as soon as I return, He returns, isn’t He just so sweet??). Fill the captions with innocent dialogue — I dare you. Extra credit if you don’t make it about losing my contact lenses.

    On the other hand, it could be so much worse. Like if I were Wonder Woman, or whatever.

  17. StealthBadger
    StealthBadger August 14, 2007 at 12:40 am |

    Liking something to the point that you’re taking time to pick at it is really honest-and-for-true liking it. Most writers are much more apperciative of nuanced praise with thoughtful, involved criticism than an unqualified “this is great!”. A tie-in to your aside which supports your point: if bondage and subjugation are separate things to you and your partner, and you’re paying attention to what’s going on and cry shenanigans* when trust is being abused, even unintentionally, then it’s degoting time and thought to your play. What’s not to love?

    * or insert safeword of choice

  18. StealthBadger
    StealthBadger August 14, 2007 at 12:47 am |

    Liking something to the point that you’re taking time to pick at it is really honest-and-for-true liking it. Most writers are much more apperciative of nuanced praise with thoughtful, involved criticism than an unqualified “this is great!”. A tie-in to your aside which supports your point: if bondage and subjugation are separate things to you and your partner, and you’re paying attention to what’s going on and cry shenanigans* when trust is being abused, even unintentionally, then it’s degoting time and thought to your play. What’s not to love?

    As for WoW… It’s as hard to get around the internal “grrr” with that, and it’s nice that the tier armors don’t replicate the Royo effect, though they are wasp-waisted. -_- That designer choice has been gradually shifting for years (too slowly) because people are paying attention. Why stop?

    * or insert safeword of choice

  19. StealthBadger
    StealthBadger August 14, 2007 at 12:51 am |

    apologies for sleepy-stupid double posting, I thought my browser had eaten the first one, and added to the post. Into moderation it went.

  20. Amanda
    Amanda August 14, 2007 at 1:18 am |

    I dunno, I think Lily’s characterization is sort of interesting. She reeked of self righteousness during SWM and when she severed all ties with Snape after SWM. I imagine her to have been extremely judgmental, but (eventually) mature enough to realize when her previous judgments were incorrect. She married James, after all.

    Another explanation for Lily’s “Valentine” status is that, frankly, she’s dead. Naturally, all those who remember her remember her most positive assets–amplified with time. The only (living) character with a close personal connection to Lily was Snape, and his memories of her are set to the Hallelujah Chorus.

    Which makes me wonder–did Lily have any real friends at Hogwarts? Did she have any friends in the Order? Maybe she didn’t make them so easily.

    I’m a little biased, though, due to my intense love of Lily/James fanfiction.

  21. Victoria Marinelli
    Victoria Marinelli August 14, 2007 at 1:54 am |

    If you figure out how to successfully “walk that line,” please do let me know. I’m not into gaming, but I suspect there is some confluence between what you’re trying to reconcile here with some of what I’m sometimes a witness to in the hardcore metal scene. For instance, at Ozzfest in 2004, among the amazing bands that were playing was OTEP, the singer for which (Otep Shamaya) is not only a woman, but who is also an out lesbian who speaks out all the time about sexual abuse and other critical issues. That’s some serious feminism right there (even if it’s not always named as such). Then too there were seriously woman-hating aspects of that environment, shit that was just profoundly over-the-top. It’s a musical genre that is all about extremes of power, and what gets expressed there is alternately liberatory and grossly oppressive. I couldn’t divorce the whole scene on account of the grossly oppressive elements; I can only name those elements and confront them as best I can.

    I wasn’t at Ozzfest the next year when Jada Pinkett Smith’s band, Wicked Wisdom, played second stage, but the accounts I read about it afterward were just horrifying to me. Not only were there grossly misogynist metalheads just like Otep (and every other female musician in metal) had to deal with, they were also extremely racist. The problem of racism in the metal scene is enormous. (The “hate mail” section at Metalheads Against Racism is OH SO painfully revealing on this point.) But, dammit, if women like Otep and Jada haven’t given up the scene yet, then I won’t either. For that matter, if primarily African American metal bands like God Forbid and Sevendust are hangin’ in, I’m going to, as well. These musicians work their asses off and deal with misogyny and racism in far more egregious ways that I’m gonna have to deal with as a mere fan at their shows.

    But, still, it’s a conundrum, ain’t it?

  22. Sarah
    Sarah August 14, 2007 at 1:59 am |

    How do you balance criticism of something (or acknowledging its weaknesses) with your appreciation for it?

    You shamelessly decry the bad bits in the worst possible way, while praising the good bits to high heaven. If someone calls you a hypocrite, tell them to fuck off and grow up. In most cases, you’re allowed to have an opinion beyond “100% good” or “100% bad”, and a lot of people have yet to learn this.

  23. orlando
    orlando August 14, 2007 at 3:35 am |

    Think you’ve got headaches – just try teaching a class The Taming of the Shrew.

  24. Isabel
    Isabel August 14, 2007 at 9:30 am |

    Think you’ve got headaches – just try teaching a class The Taming of the Shrew.

    Aha–yeah, that’s another good one in terms of, but the writing is so good, the banter so witty, the message so horribly, horribly wrong. I like to dance around that one by staging it in my head as a depressing exploration of male dominance’s effect on strong women who have no escape, because theater is a live medium after all.

  25. philosophizer
    philosophizer August 14, 2007 at 9:43 am |

    see if you can get a copy of it staged by a san francisco commedia dell’arte group – that’s what convinced me TOTS was a satire on contemporary attitudes about women’s place.

  26. Sabrina Star
    Sabrina Star August 14, 2007 at 11:52 am |

    The sad thing is, World of Warcraft’s portrayal of women and women’s costumes is mild and moderate compared to what we commonly find in video games. At least there’s nothing in the game content about women being less capable or less powerful than men.

    Frankly, what is starting to bother me about WoW is the way game designers have chosen to play with racial stereotypes, particularly the increasingly common caricature of Black English.

    Although, i’ve been bothered by this in cat macros, too. But that goes to the bigger question raised in the OP, which is, how do we deal with having a threshold for coping with sexist or racist stereotypes in various genres of entertainment? For fans of comics or MMOs there aren’t really alternatives (though someone else mentioned LOTRO, which, from what i saw, did indeed seem to avoid the bikini-string-plate-mail-armor issue) so for the most part we get to chose between going without entertainment altogether, or grumble while being entertained.

  27. Natalia
    Natalia August 14, 2007 at 11:54 am |

    I really liked Lily Potter.

    That’s it, I’ve got nothing else to contribute to this post. And I am sorry for it.

  28. outfox
    outfox August 14, 2007 at 12:00 pm |

    Oh, late to the thread but good question!

    I tend to play this role of devil’s advocate, and I try and consider the values about critique in the intended audience.

    For example, when I talk with people into literary criticism, feminist strategy or policy I can be blunt. Because there’s a pre-existing understanding that the purpose of criticism is to unpack and seek improvement in areas we’re all already commited too.

    The challenging area for me is, talking this way outside those groups comes up against the social tendency of many people to always gravitate towards affirming group identity.

    The more people like orthodoxy, feel insecure, or have in-groups based upon personal affirmation over questioning; the more they’ll assume that critical voice is about being an uppity bitch rather than trying to strategise with them.

    I try and I focus on specifics, emphasise common goals that exist, and suggest how this serves positive goals eventully. Until someone gets in a hissy fit that anyone should ever question their boyfriend or favorite character. Then it’s just a case of reminding people that debate is not personal therapy. And resigning myself to the fact that being critical doesn’t win you fans in cliquey social settings.

    p.s. I liked that Harry slightly destablised the patriarchal hero in not being a martyr or glamorisiong death, but agreed about Lily.

  29. Tom
    Tom August 14, 2007 at 12:19 pm |

    orlando Says:
    August 14th, 2007 at 3:35 am
    Think you’ve got headaches – just try teaching a class The Taming of the Shrew.

    I’ll see your Taming of the Shrew and raise you Phillip K Dick’s The Pre-Persons, where he begins with an interesting discussion of where life begins and descends into complete misogynist wingnuttery over abortion. It sucks feeling the need to punch your favorite author in the balls for abject douchebaggery.

  30. Paul Gould
    Paul Gould August 14, 2007 at 2:24 pm |

    Hello Magniloquence,

    I loved your recent post (I was actually ranting about the same thing yesterday after hearing the shocking news that comic book artist Mike Wieringo died Sunday from a massive heart attack) and wanted to ask you if it was possible to showcase it in the first issue of an Indy comic book zine I’m publishing, called The GUILD?

    The zine will be talk about the usual comic book Industry subject matter…racism, sexisms, homophobia, favoritism, etc, etc…oh wait…they don’t!.

    Like you said in your post, you love comic books and you like superheroes, well I feel the same…I just can’t stand the industry.
    (particularly the mainstream)

    If you happen to be interested & have any questions, please
    fee free to write back anytime.

    All The Best.
    Paul

  31. Vail
    Vail August 14, 2007 at 2:43 pm |

    I would try Dark Age of Camelot if you don’t want to look at your character’s butt cheeks all day. The armor for men and women is exactly the same, no boob window, no G-string, no bare belly buttons. The closest that they come to having sexist clothing is the male Highlanders wear kilts. Not to say there isn’t some sexism, but it mostly comes from the on-line community. Now this game has been out for quite awhile, so many of the “Barren’s chat” types have moved on to other games. There are still some hold outs, but Mythic tends to crack down more on people being rude/crude in general chat then any other game I’ve been in. One thing that I can suggest is that if you don’t want to put up with Barrens-like chat is to play on a RPG server (many mmorgp’s have them now). Yes you might have to put up with some sexism there, but they’re usually a lot nicer about it (also safer for the young ones). Also write an e-mail to the game company. If we all did that maybe they would listen more (money should talk if they have any business sense. Of course if your talking comics, the Big Comic Companies could care less what the female fans want (I’ve seen the responses) so I guess it just depends. It can’t hurt! BTW if you want to read a good Manga without the bouncing boobage, try The Wallflower, very very good! I love how it turns a lot of well worn plots all topsy-turvy .

  32. Danyell
    Danyell August 14, 2007 at 3:45 pm |

    You have to criticize the things you love. Not just to make them better, but also to make sure that you never follow anything blindly- to see things as they really are. As intelligent people, we need to be constantly reevaluating our lives and that also means everything in our lives. Actually, there was a great article in Bitch that feminist can love hip hop but still have a duty to be critical of sexist elements of things they admittedly really like regardless. But I have a lot of criticisms of modern, Western feminism too. I’m not going to start with all of them, but a lot of them are summarized very well in “Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture” by Ariel Levy. It goes far beyond that though.

    I do hate that “armor” though. I guess women have no vital organs between the breasts and vulva? Ha ha. It bothers me less that it’s sexist and more that it’s impractical just to make it sexy. (Which is not the same thing…or at least I think.)

  33. Pope Guilty
    Pope Guilty August 14, 2007 at 7:58 pm |

    The reason the Night Elves don’t look like the Drow is because… they’re not Drow. They’re a different race entirely with different origins and themes. Warcraft III, its expansion The Frozen Throne, and some of the in-game books, notably the one in the Gadgetzan inn, address this.

    …the Drow are also a copyrighted property owned by Wizards of the Coast, while the Night Elves are owned by Blizzard.

  34. Danyell
    Danyell August 14, 2007 at 11:30 pm |

    Magniloquence- I think it’s one of the best books I’ve read in a while. There are some things to criticize within it, but I think the general message is great and hard to miss (since she restates it many times). My major critique is that it seems to focus on White women, so it only gets part of the story. There could probably be a whole second volume about the same subject from the perspective of Women of Color. Maybe she didn’t feel right tackling it on her own? Who knows.

  35. Ellid
    Ellid August 15, 2007 at 6:38 pm |

    Personally, I thought Lily was reduced to a Mary Sue: beautiful, smart, perfect, self-righteous, loved by every man who knows her, and ultimately dead for the greater good. *blech*

    And don’t get me started on the way Rowling basically destroyed Tonks, or turned Ginny into a passive object instead of a character, or had Hermione do little besides weep for Ron and clean up the camp, or can’t write a decent epilogue to save her life….

    *weeps for what could have been if Rowling had taken an additional six months to edit the damn thing*

  36. Antigone
    Antigone August 16, 2007 at 12:54 pm |

    I once heard it suggested that if you take TOTS as a tragedy instead of comedy, it works out much better. I tend to agree.

  37. Medicine Man
    Medicine Man August 16, 2007 at 7:12 pm |

    At the risk of adding little of value to this conversation, I just want to say the following:

    Female Tauren

  38. Medicine Man
    Medicine Man August 16, 2007 at 7:14 pm |

    Well that didn’t turn out right. :( I rather like the way they did the tauren race, over all. Female tauren are big and intimidating.

  39. Matthew Cole
    Matthew Cole August 17, 2007 at 3:52 pm |

    re: – World of Warcraft:

    I’ve been playing Guild Wars a lot this summer, and I was actually kind of impressed with the range of racial choices you can make for your character – from very pale to very dark, with eye and hair choices that are not all Anglo. But I also got ticked by some gender choices. For a male warrior, you can give him a wicked looking scar on his face. Women can’t have scars, they need to look pretty. How annoying. I want my W/N to look positively evil! Oh, well.

    re: – Comics

    For a Titans fan, you should check out what’s going on in Young Avengers. First its just way better than what Bendis is doing in New Avengers. But also, the crew is actually interesting. Without playing to tokenism, they managed to go through the first half of the first season before they even introduced the first major member of the team who was straight, white and male. And the women wear actual clothes!

  40. I Read the Internets - 8/18/07
    I Read the Internets - 8/18/07 August 18, 2007 at 3:02 am |

    [...] is a clear and strong critique.  I think a guest-post from Magniloquence at Feministe, titled “Criticizing the things you love,” makes a great follow-up to viewing [...]

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