Until disability rights issues are raised, and it’s like … whoa, is this the twilight zone? What’s with the casual bigotry? the inability – the refusal? – to listen to the voices of people who are closest to the issues?

Yes, exactly. It’s very strange indeed. It’s as if the right to perform surgery on us were some profoundly important right that it’s terribly wrong to threaten.

Well, this is when it’s worth distinguishing between bloggers and commenters. The blogs themselves might be allied, but you can’t always predict or control who shows up to comment, and the people who do comment may not be to your liking.

That’s a good point, and I should be clear: the original post does not reflect the ableist views that several commenters have espoused in the comment sections.

Part of this is that I personally see websites like Feministe and Pandagon as sources of information, both from the posters and the commenters. Until disability rights issues are raised, and it’s like … whoa, is this the twilight zone? What’s with the casual bigotry? the inability – the refusal? – to listen to the voices of people who are closest to the issues? The information-to-static ratio is all out of whack, with commenters I would like to call my allies not just implying but in some cases saying that I – and my clients, and my friends – are not fully human.

It’s like there’s this seemy underbelly of disability-based prejudice lurking within a good percentage of the commenters at these blogs. And, having read Lindsay’s take on the Ashley X case (as well as Amanda’s) – well, the folks writing the posts aren’t always so prejudice-free themselves.

G-d, I hate these discussions when they take place on so-called “ally” feminist blogs. The arrogance of ignoring what PWDs have to say in these conversations is nothing short of breathtaking.

Well, this is when it’s worth distinguishing between bloggers and commenters. The blogs themselves might be allied, but you can’t always predict or control who shows up to comment, and the people who do comment may not be to your liking.

But, given all that, I’m more than happy to provide a high-traffic forum for your response to the arrogance. I know that sometimes I’ve seen people giving up or getting frustrated with Feministe because of what kinds of comments are allowed through in the name of balance. That’s too bad, because it means giving up the opportunity to *respond* to such crap in a high-traffic forum.

So please do keep responding.

G-d, I hate these discussions when they take place on so-called “ally” feminist blogs. The arrogance of ignoring what PWDs have to say in these conversations is nothing short of breathtaking.

I’d rather exist. GRRRRRRRRR! I HATE MAMAS! GRRRRRR! MOTHERD BAAAAAAAAD! RAAAAAAAAR!

;)

We hate mamas.

speak for yourself! I love mamas. But I have a disability! Ergo I must not exist!

gah.

G-d, I hate these discussions when they take place on so-called “ally” feminist blogs. The arrogance of ignoring what PWDs have to say in these conversations is nothing short of breathtaking.

We hate mamas.

Also, it’s impossible any of us could BE mamas. Including mamas of other PWD.

G-d, I hate these discussions when they take place on so-called “ally” feminist blogs. The arrogance of ignoring what PWDs have to say in these conversations is nothing short of breathtaking.

And I’m tired of this meme that parents of children with disabilities bear such an enormous burden and that therefore no one is allowed to criticize them.

Yes, yes, yes. I once wrote a paper on this and my professor just kept saying “but think of the burden! think of the mamas!” and I’m just wondering: isn’t any child a tiring, exhausting, frustrating burden sometimes? That’s not to say that we don’t come with extra issues in a lot of ways, because she’s right, we do. But there’s this comparison that makes it sound like raising someone who thank the gods isn’t one of us is easy.

Nope. Parenting is a tough job regardless. Let’s not lose sight of that here.

Is it easier, for example, to take care of a paralyzed, double incontinent 15 year old than it is to take care of your able-bodied, generally fully cognitively capable 15 year old struggling with a drug problem?

What if your previously “normal” 15 year old comes down with a degenerative disease? Is it okay if you snap in the same way then?