As I mentioned yesterday, we’ve gotten an influx of trolls lately, and they are fabulously entertaining. And while all of the Special Moderation Queue posts are fun, there are just so many caustic commenters in our spam queue right now that I thought a little contest might be better than giving them all individual attention. So here are the contestants and their entries:
1. Tony, who has two comments in the running:
Jeff Fecke is definitely sexier than Republicans and condoms.
Jill, you can prove this by fucking Jeff Fecke and admitting it on your blog. In addition to giving him exactly what he hangs around the Femblogs for, it would motivate every male Republican better looking than Jeff Fecke (i.e. all) to adopt Feminascism.
P.S. Methinks the point was that the *kinds of relationships* in which you are most apt to use condoms are the *kinds of relationships that he finds less-than-Romantic – i.e. “lets go fuck in the bushes.”
PPS. Jill, do we all still have to pretend that you are this like, totally self-actualized super sex kitten who bangs anyone who catches your eye? Because I’d bet my left testicle that you fuck like you have a knotted rag up your ass (not on purpose).
PPPS. You are already fucking Republicans and just can’t figure it out.
Next time y’all throw a party, you really ought to invite me . . .
I think my point, put succinctly, was that Jill has Christmas pussy – despite the Vagina Warrior BS.
And I could find better ass, with a better attitude, on the West Side of the Verrazano-Narrows.
2. Roxy, who puts the “F” in “Bitches”:
i hate this site it is the worst 1 in the hole wide world you f in bitches
3. Alaska Hero, who also enters twice:
Earth to feminasties ……Ever heard of John Locke ?….individual freedoms ? thats what i thought ……..and youve been to college ………….lol lol
Wow , you must be in college ? with your views youll NEVER find a husband ….what country did ‘femi-nazism start …The good ol usa ! and yes western cultures are the basis for all the freedoms that YOU take for granted …youll look good in a burqa baby ………….xoxoxox the hero
4. Tim, who even includes a video to illustrate his point:
Anti-feminists? We preferred to be called “normal people.”
Enjoy being single, childless, desperate and sleeping with your cats in 10 years.
5. Vincent, who, in response to a post congratulating Feministe founder Lauren for her marriage, writes:
So who’s going to be the primary breadwinner in that family? If its her, can I check back in 5-10 years to see if she’s still married, or may be home with the baby.
6. And last but certainly not least, “Milo,” one of the many pseudonyms of Milorad “Dumb Bunny” Buggerov:
Well, as I have noted to you before, there *are* a lot of aging feminists out there, who discovered a bit late that blathering on about empty slogans didn’t serve them well in their personal lives, and now they *do* rely primarily on the company of their cats for love and comfort. Listen, maybe being outre and edgy and pretentiously pompous is fun for now, but believe me, when you hit 31 or so you’re going to look around and worry about your romantic/love prospects. Check with zuzu, she sounds like a single, solitary and bitter cat lady. Oh and I challenge you to let this past your cordon sanitaire.
Vote away, Feministers!
And for old times’ sake, here are a few classic comments from the Special Moderation Queue. They aren’t up for voting because they’re old-skool, but they could probably teach the newbie trolls a thing or two about (il)literacy, bitterness and stupidity:
I have no problem with women working. Although I do have a problem with paying child support and alimony to ex-wives that no longer put out, or do anything for their ex husbands. It is a waste when that money should go to support the new children and wife in the next relationship. Children should automatically go to the father, and our famous feminist bitches would figure out a way to save the marriage. Perhaps she would cook more, put out more, do the duties of a good wife, more, etc.
Nowadays having the children go to those who can least afford it, is, well a complete disaster. Men are being treated like sperm donors and wallets, I’m sick of it. I want a bitch that is loyal to me, and the family. Not a woman that just needs a sperm donor, or a wallet. To me that is heartless, despite the fact said behavior happens with reckless abandon.
It has come to my attention that the liberal left have distorted the English language by making up non-sensical phrases to describe things and activities that have been easily defined for hundreds of years. The true meanings of these propagandish phrases are as follows:
Embrace diversity-love a nigger, spic, wap, chink, or sand nigger
Empower women-have politicians looking for votes allow the courts to become communistic tools to give women money from fathers getting screwed by the system so they won’t tax the welfare wystem and get handouts with less shame
gay rights-allow fags and dykes to sodomise and copulate without getting castrated or de-cunt lipped
domestic violence-what happens when a husband catches his bitch sucking his neighbors dick
wetland-a worthless swamp that should be used for a garbage dump but liberals want it for “wildlife”
undocumented alien-a spic in the USA illegally
politically correct-what the unhappy commentors to this post will attempt to define so readers will think they are “in the know” and “cool”
Considering the fact that you’re feminists and most likely therefore lesbians wearing jean shorts, hiking boots and flannel shirts, who in their right mind would WANT to (your words) “fuck with” you?
I went to Vassar.
That means I know allllllllllllllllllll about the issues you ladies face. And I knew transgender people, so I’m also an expert on that.
And you ladies and sorta ladies are in need of a night in the Mug then my friend’s big ass double in Joss.
Then it won’t seem so bad.
Yeah, I know I’m an asshole, but come on, jeebus.
Since we’re lefties and not total dicks it’s better to try and make us feel guilty for shit we mostly didn’t do than to have no impact caring about the behavior of those who are actually hateful.
And last but certainly not least common, the violent fantasizer:
You know what we need to do?
Slit their throats, rip off their tittes and piss down their throats.
That would be awesome.